Motivation | ADHD Information

Is there anyone out there that can relate to being motivated by external appraisal.

I am realising that I can get extremely motivated toward something if it means me being seen as better than someone else. If the reward of doing the task means getting attention and being able to say (internally) I'm better than person "x" (even though I know theres the rest of the alphabet that's better than me) I am all for it. I get a high from it. Tasks where the results won't make me feel like this just don't seem worth it.

I'm just wondering if there are any other ADDults that experience similar.
Jude38942.2917476852

I tend to be more like LCdc than the former.  I feel extremely uncomfortable getting praise at work or other places.  I always feel I am only doing what I am supposed to do - not what is above and beyond if you know what I mean.

What I often say at work when someone brings attention to my work is that they should save their thanks for if I save their kid from a fire or something truly praiseworthy.  I just don't see the need to compliment good work as I expect everyone to do their best.

Maybe it's how a person is raised - my parents always taught me to be humble about my life and that others expect high standards.

 

Well, I work better with some kind of motavation behinde me!  If I have to work to a deadline and can then do a better job than anyone else, that is good too. But if it is just me having to motavate me to do a job it can take months!

But I also do the opposite here. My present job (which I hope to be leaving very soon) I wll not do anything for my employer unless she spicificlly asks me first! She is a horrible domeneering woman, who expects her employers to say 'how high' when she says 'jump!' and I don't jump through hoops for many I can tell you! So I deliberatly do the bare minimum and get into conflict with her when she throws a strop.  I am not interested in doing better than anyone else there becasue the boss and her chief henchwoman are  really nasty charicters, and the more I give them to complain about, the better my day is!

 

but is someone is considerate and teats me well as an employer then I iwll do the very best I can, always. And if it is a better effort than anyone else, so much the better!

I don't like to have this happen to me.  I like to know inside myself that I have done a good job and I do feel satisfied at having done a good job.  But, I do not like to sit there and have my boss tell me that I did a good job.  For some reason I get uncomfortable when someone focuses in on my good performance.

Maybe it is because I shy away from too much touchy feely stuff (except with my kids). 

I experience both of these emotions.  I do want to receive praise at work, because, on one hand it makes me feel good & appreciated, but also... uncomfortable.  At my first wedding, I was never so uncomfortable as walking down the aisle in front of 200+ people! And I've always been the cut-up in class, so my emotions have always confused me.  I have always been uneasy with affection from my immediate family(and friends, but to a lesser extent), & I still find it makes me feel weird to say "i love you" to them, or to hug them.  This always made me feel different, like I was some cold bitch.  But like LCDC, with my kids, I can't give them enough.  My 2nd husband is wonderful, and has helped me break down some of my emotional barriers & made it okay for me to feel vulnerable & loved.  He's got ADD, too, so the bills & piles are just a little bit of a problem...I also feel like I'm wanting to be less sociable as I get older, when i was the social butterfly in school!  Anyone else?