Good News!!! II | ADHD Information

It's helpful to have someone posting here who has been through most of what we're all going to have to go through, too. 

Hey! Look at me!  I've posted more than 1,000 times!  Does this mean I'm an expert? I am bumping up this thread to provide encouragement for the many parents on this board,especially the newbies, who sometimes wonder if their child will be able to handle life as a young adult.  We often read about the negative side and perhaps as children improve those parents don't visit this site as much to share the good side.  So I want to share the good side. 

As I mention a few posts down,
"I hope this encourages other parents to have faith that inside their youngster is a very capable person waiting to come out."


August 2006:
Over the years, I often wondered if ds would ever be able to do a variety of things that challenge ADHDers.  As he got older, he would assure me not to worry and that while he was not doing it now, he would be able to in the future...and then later he would remind me by saying "Remember when..." 

In a couple months he will be 18, a high school senior.  I have seen great changes this summer that continue to give me confidence in him. 

The most remarkable is that it seems the hyperactivity seems to have just about disappeared.  Probably due to physical maturity, he appears to be one many that go from ADHD to ADD with adulthood. 

The other change is in responsibility and independence.  We sent him this summer to a month long summer program far from home to try living away in a college environment.  The experiment was a success.  He was able to wake up and get to class on time, manage his medication, make friends, keep his room somewhat orderly, weekly do his laundry in between classes, manage money and problem solve for the variety of issues that came up.

When put to the test I think he passed with flying colors and the added bonus is the confidence I see in him...and for me to do him the honor of letting go of my skepticism and showing confidence in him.


February 2007:
Ds has learned to manage his time well and work hard, both of which are important factors in the areas of his successes. 

Occasions which stand out for me this school year are:
-having a fairly good day when he forgot to take his medication.  While it was harder for him, teachers did not notice a difference which means he can hold it together in that environment.  One teacher said she was grateful to him that day because he was the mainstay of the discussion.

-Musically he put together a great performance at Battle of the Bands in high school, coming in second because he didn't have a "band."  He was "the band" with his electronic keyboard sequencer.

-Successful performance at his first solo gig handling all components of the job independently

-taking advanced math at the community college in the evenings, managing time, disability services, getting an A in the class. Also going back to the highschool some evenings so he won't miss an AP Physics lab.

Getting an A- in AP English...this is the kid with LDs in Reading and Language

-developing lovely cursive handwriting at age 18.  A year ago he did not know how to form the letters...his dysgraphia is another story.

-completed and sent in nine college applications...lots of essays to struggle through...so far got two back with acceptances and one offering a very nice scholarship.

Things change.  It has been a long road and it keeps getting better.
Part of it is the faith that with appropriate support and interventions they can be independent and successful.




jfla239129.781875 Sorry to those of you that read the above post before the words were in the form.  For some reason it posted immediately after I typed in the subject 
Thanks for coming back to it
that is great,it is good to know that in the future they can manage their ADHD better.it gives me hope for jude.What wonderful new jfla2! This is yet another example of how choosing the right treatment and interventions for the child can make all diiference in terms of a child living up to their full potentail and moving towards success. Once our children know they CAN succeed, they will. Very often it is issues of low self esteem that prevent the child who is growing into adulthood from fulfilling their responsibilities because they don't have the confidence to know they CAN do it. Anxiety and low self esteem can be crippling for anyone. Way to go mom and congratulations to your sonCongrats to you and ds!  Where is this program?  This is exactly what worries me about my ds.  Will he be able to wake up and get to an 8 am class, will he remember to pay his phone bill, take his meds, and do his laundry so he doesn't have to wear the same underwear 3 days in a row.

I've introduced the idea of helping out around the house this summer and my ds has done really well.  He washes the breakfast dishes, sweeps, cleans the bathroom, does laundry (I've only had him do underwear and t-shirts.  I'm not trusting him with the good clothes).  The biggest change is that when I say "Pat, wash the dishes," 99% of the time he gets up and starts after the first time I ask.

jfla, I hope ds has a terrific senior year!  You're a good mom!
Thank you lillian, calicorose, joemom, lovemykids, susieb, scotmoma and candyhound for your congratulations and kind words.

Take Care

jfla


jfla238946.4295138889From what you've said and what I've seen this summer, I'm beginning to believe that Pat will be able to handle adult life when the time comes.  Thanks!

jfla,

This is wonderfull! I love reading your posts you always have positive things to say.  It is nice to see the possibilities. 

Thank you all for your congratulations.

 I hope it encourages others like scotmama. 

All of susieb's present concerns were once mine.  Like what susie is doing now, it took a lot of babysteps leading up to ds' success this summer.  We didn't need to approach this as sink or swim.

 The progress Pat demonstrates shows that he is on his way.  That's great, susieb!  (The program is Putney's Excel program at Amherst College.  I am sure there are others which are similar.)

luvmykids02 said, "Once our children know they CAN succeed, they will." 
I cannot agree more.  We just need to continue to set up situations for them to succeed.   In addition is a lot of pushing, pulling, redirecting and letting go.

Looking back ten years, this is the same child that needed redirecting to put on each item of clothing in the morning...at school was distracted by the paper and pencil on his desk and completed little work...was called "stupid" by peers.  Part of what kept me working so diligently was the knowledge and faith that inside was a very capable person. 

This is the same child that is now rekindling a broken friendship,  working by choice on an Independent Study in advanced math, driving to meetings and soccer practice on time ...all on his own.  

I hope this encourages other parents to have faith that inside their youngster is a very capable person waiting to come out. 
jfla238944.3929166667Jfla, I worry about my son too, will he ever become a responsible adult?  His dad wants to just let him go, to as was said, sink or swim.  I know in my heart that is just not the best remedy for these kids.  They do need more direction, and prodding, and tugging and pulling and patience and one-on-one in order to learn and succeed.  Thank you for posting such a great sucess story!  CONGRATS!

[QUOTE=jfla2] Thank you all for your congratulations.

 I hope it encourages others like scotmama. 

All of susieb's present concerns were once mine.  Like what susie is doing now, it took a lot of babysteps leading up to ds' success this summer.  We didn't need to approach this as sink or swim.

 The progress Pat demonstrates shows that he is on his way.  That's great, susieb!  (The program is Putney's Excel program at Amherst College.  I am sure there are others which are similar.)

luvmykids02 said, "Once our children know they CAN succeed, they will." 
I cannot agree more.  We just need to continue to set up situations for them to succeed.   In addition is a lot of pushing, pulling, redirecting and letting go.

Looking back ten years, this is the same child that needed redirecting to put on each item of clothing in the morning...at school was distracted by the paper and pencil on his desk and completed little work...was called "stupid" by peers.  Part of what kept me working so diligently was the knowledge and faith that inside was a very capable person. 

This is the same child that is now rekindling a broken friendship,  working by choice on an Independent Study in advanced math, driving to meetings and soccer practice on time ...all on his own.  

I hope this encourages other parents to have faith that inside their youngster is a very capable person waiting to come out. 
[/QUOTE]

    

This is the best news I've heard on this board in a long time.  Woooooohooooo!

  What an uplifting post ! I'm so happy your son is doing so well !

 

 

  I agree with the others that said "Great job, Mom !"

 

 

Jfla2, I really needed to read this post today.  Thank you for sharing your success story.  Just last night I was in tears because I worry too much about the future.  I looked at my husband and said "I'm so scared that Josh won't be able to handle simple adult life".  My son is 10 and it is so hard to watch him struggle.  I would give ANYTHING to help him grow into a mature, capable, successful young man.  Sometimes I lose sight worrying so much and your post has brought me back to earth.  We are doing all the rights things in helping our son, including therapy, medication, and coaching.  I guess my mothers heart sometimes gets in the way.  Thank you, Thank you sooo much for posting your success.  I'm so happy for you and your son.  Please keep us posted on his continuing progress.  Good Luck!YOU ROCK MOM! CONGRATS!

You also got me crying like a baby. It's strong moms like you that are going to keep me going and my kids only 10.

THANK YOU!

(I need a tissue)BumpI am so happy for you and your son it is great to hear success stories.bump

I am happy for you.  I am personally still terrified of the future for my girl. Jillette,
When my son was young it was difficult to imagine that he could be other than how he presented at the time.  The difficulty we often face daily is seeing several years of a lag in maturity from their peers along with all of the idiosyncracies thrown in.  It does become overwhelming, but each person on this board seems to be trying to put interventions in place which will help shape and lead these children toward success.  Your daughter is benefiting by all of the specialists, programs and individual understanding and support which you personally provide.  I went back and read many of your posts over the last three years.  One concern was socialization and you continued to find playdates and programs where she could have more opportunities socializing and then she ended up meeting her special friend through the study.  Do they still see each other?   When my son was young, he had all kinds of problems similar to many on this board and somehow he has come through this and has developed strategies to deal with  them.   Even today when he is off his medication, he can get pretty crazy, but then he reminds me that, "Hey this is in my own home.  I wouldn't be like this outside.  Do you act the same in your home as you do at work or in public?"  Sorry I've gone on too long.  You have really done a phenomenal job and changes will occur, it just takes awhile.  I really just want to encourage you that things do get better.
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