In my elementary years I would often zone out and the teacher would start asking me to report in from the space station. My grades were fine though A's and B's and was able to learn how not to get too far "out of it." Later in life I started not to pay attention at all during school. I made it through on a wing and a prayer with mostly B's a few C's and the occasional D or A.
I wasn't diagnosed as ADD until I was 21 when it became neccesary for me to open a text book. I tried Concerta and Adderall but they weren't much of a help. When something really had to be done some how I got over the mountain that it took to start and that mountain has gotten higher every year since. All through out this I have presented with minor bipolar symptoms along the lines of the "Ring of Fire" ADHD. The anxiety has continually worsened.
I finally went to a Pdoc at 23 and was diagnosed with ADD with GAD that can occasionally cause depression. I tried Strattera but it really didn't help and I bounced around SSRIs. The anxiety was growing worse. I kept thinking more and more and usually the answer was not to do something. For an outgoing person that people like I started to fear social situtations. This was not helped by the fact that when I talked to the pdoc I pretty much said everything was fine because in the world of my thoughts everything was.
Two weeks ago having already been on 300 Mg of Effexor I asked to try Adderall again. Taking 25mg of Adderall opened my eyes and I felt clear. Unfortunately clarity isn't always fun. I realized how caught up in my thoughts I always am. How these circular thoughts don't always equal a rational result. That fear of social situations and other fears I realized were irrational results of over thinking. No matter how much I know all this I can't stop thinking. I think about not thinking. The thoughts I have don't always make sense if I tried to say them out loud but in my mind everything is some kind of equation that I will solve. I still feel like there is some force that keeps me from doing things like cleaning my place. The effort to do things just seems monumental and to top it off all the effort to stay focused makes me feel more exausted. I've been living in a fog of my own thoughts for so long I feel confused now that I have a bit of clarity. I feel like I am trapped in my mind. Any thoughts before I present this to the pdoc would help.
[QUOTE=Space Cadet]When something really had to be done some how I
got over the mountain that it took to start and that
mountain has gotten higher every year since. All through out
this I have presented with minor bipolar symptoms along the lines of
the "Ring of Fire" ADHD. The anxiety has continually worsened.
I realized how caught up in my thoughts I always am. How these
circular thoughts don't always equal a rational result. That fear of
social situations and other fears I realized were irrational results of
over thinking.
I still feel like there is some force that keeps me from doing things like cleaning my place. The effort to do things just seems monumental and to top it off all the effort to stay focused makes me feel more exausted. I've been living in a fog of my own thoughts for so long I feel confused now that I have a bit of clarity. I feel like I am trapped in my mind. Any thoughts before I present this to the pdoc would help.
[/QUOTE]