My son is 16 and he has not flatly refused to take his meds but we periodically would find his meds on his dresser, on the kitchen counter, in his pants pockets. The problem is that without his meds he is impossible to live with, impulsive, overly sensitive, argumentative, rebellious, defiant, does not respect personal boundaries ( taking things that do not belong to him) etc. I have spent this summer trying to work with him to increase his insight into the need for meds. I have met teenagers with ADD who are totally responsible for their meds. I just want mine to understand the need for them and be more responsible taking them. What I have been doing is showing him the difference in his behavior with and without the meds...reminding him after the fact that the lack of meds causes him to get into soooo much more trouble...and we are slowly making progress. He has been on the patch for about 5 days now and yesterday we were out when it was time to put the patch on ( he uses it the 2nd half of the day). Finally it was about 5:30pm and too late for a patch so I gave him a short acting Ritalin pill. Well it wore off in a few hours and he ended up doing things that got him into trouble this morning when I discovered certain items of mine missing. He has not done this all week while on the patch. So I reminded him that he has not been in trouble like this all week...only when he was on the pill that wore off early...He seemed to understand and as soon as we came in this afternoon he put the patch on without me reminding him....Insight is the hardest thing to work on...So many people deny the existance of a medical condtion and refuse to take medication to treat it. But I am determined to make him independent and self sufficient...he's gotta go to college one day and I cant be there to remind him to take his meds....
Lovelife91- hang in there and try talking to her about how meds can help her cope...good luck
Peer pressure? it may be difficult for her to tell you now, since she is grounded and all. I often find it helpful to get all the information in a calm conversant way before we settle on some sort of punishment if necessary.Just wanted to add that this may be "normal" peer pressure -- lord knows I tried smoking at that age also (not ADHD). Sadly, I continued to smoke for many years -- I think you should be kind of proud that she was only 10 minutes late on curfew on carnival night! Perhaps a serious talk about the real dangers of smoking or better yet a visit to the hospital or doctor who will show in graphic detail what it is capable of doing. I would say that keeping the lines of communication wide open are really important here and you have a real opportunity to teach her (and maybe even the other girls) how dangerous this can be!!!
My daughter is 15 and has had ADHD since she was 5. She took the medication (ritalin)until she was 13. By that time she just refused it all together. Recently she went to a carnival right down the road from us. I told her her curfew was 9:30. She came home around 9:40. I went in her room to see how the carnival was and i could smell smoke on her clothes. I asked her if she was smoking and she said no. I could also smell it on her breath. I told her i know your lieing to me i can smell it on your breath. I looked in her bag and there was a cigaret with a lighter. I asked her where she got it and she told me one of her friends gave it to her. By then i was furious. She is grounded till the end of the summer and she is not allowed to hang out with the people she was with at the carnival during school. When i asked her why she said i dont know i just do it. I just dont get it, why would my daughter smoke?I tried smoking at 12. I just did it because i wondered what it was like. AndI've got a question. Why did you ask your daughter if she had been smoking, when you could smell it on her clothes and on her breath? Obviously, she had been. If a parents asks a fifteen-year-old smoker this, the kid most likely is going to say no.
When you've got an ADHD kid who is smoking, you need to watch the kid and make sure the kid isn't self-medicating, particularly since your daughter is not on meds. The research that is out there points pretty heavily to the idea that ADHD teens are more likely to partake in risky adolescent behavior, which includes smoking and/or substance abuse, particularly when the teens are not medicated. Smoking seems to be a relatively common risky behavior for ADHDers to choose, according to a thread that was on the board a while back.
I would discuss all this openly with her. Try to remain calm, while you do (easy for me to say ). Talk about risky behavior, ADHD and smoking, the need to take medication if a teenager is partaking in risky behavior, etc. She says she doesn't know why she smokes. I think it would be a good idea for her to try and find out why, through this conversation.
Lots of luck to you!
Besides peer pressure and the fact that children with adhd are more prone to risky behaviors such as smoking, especially if the symptoms of adhd are not treated is because the nicotine helps attentional problems so the addictive factor is even higher . Most scientific research about adhd points to neurotransmitters, dophamine and norepinephrine and to brain regions towards the front of the brain. These same brain regions also contain a significant numbers of nicitonic receptors which are the receptors that nicotiine binds to when a person smokes. Scientists beleive that these children are more prone to smoke because the nictotine treats the attentional problems in a very specific way. For children with adhd, its a form of self medicating when no other treatment is sought out to help attentional problems, more so for children with Inattentive subtype adhd.
Lovelife91...when your daughter responded that she dont know why she smokes, she may very well not know. What she does know is that it makes her feel better because she is able to focus. Unfortunately, whether teens have adhd or not, many will indulge in risky behaviors just to fit in but once the adhd child starts to smoke, besides the fact that its adddictive, they are prone to continue anyway because its like a drug that helps manage symptoms, that being inattention.
Its equally important that you understand why your daughter is smoking and explain it to her so that she could understand that although she refuses to take her medication, she is taking a drug regardless and unlike medication, smoking will put her health at serious risk and if she doesnt resume taking adhd medication, there may be more serious risky behaviors to follow. Teenage years are hard for any teen and real hard on the parents sometimes but throw adhd into the mix and you have a double whammy. Issues of low self esteem and acting out impulsively will continue to prevail if the symptoms of adhd arent treated regardless of what group of kids she is hanging out with. Good luck and hang in there.
All kids try it sometime. I don't think you have much to worry about. Just