just need to vent " so tired today" | ADHD Information

okay so my son is  4 and  we are currently going through a phciatrist for the  adhs with  kaiser in ca. so  far they have seen him  two  times,and  basically they said yes he has it .my discussion today is this  -my son goes to  a private daycare with  other kids his  age ,he has been bit and  been told  he is to  active and sometimes hard to  controll-she is a friend of mine and is really great with  kids and  is willing  to  take him on even with the  adhd,however if he is to  rough with someof the  other boys his  age or  throws a tantrum fit the  other boys goes home and tell there parenst they dont want to  play with my son cause he either pushes them  or  hits  them  and say he is to rough ,my sons father says well mayber those other kids are just babies at  4 and  devon has alot of energy to  burn ,my friend has exsplained that to  the  other parents and  just doesnt want other problems with any of her other parents ,,,so  in thre  mean time i contantly get  calls saying devon is playing  to rough or  just wont listen....how  can i deal with  this  ,and  also  my husband doesnt feel he has the adhd and this  is  normal 4 year old behavior!! he get s so  madd saysing the  other kids are just  woosis... or  cry babies..i feel alone  and  so stuck in the  middle with  this  situation its  hard for  me  to  hear these things  about my son devon,i only want the  best for  him and  i am trying to  help him ,his father will participate but does habe a 13 uyr old from a previous marriage and  he said  this  is  exactly the  way his  son acted at  4 -also  his other son was a premie too and  was adhd also  but never was treated for  it back in the  early 90"s they did home schooling with  him,as i cannot we both need to  have a two income  working  home..whicj  is so  frustrating ...i just  dont know  what else to  do  or  say to the  other parents when  im told  this  stuff about how devon acts,my husband says  screw them  and just focus on devon who cares what they  say ,we need to  just be more consistant with  our disapline and devon will be  fine. i am goinfg to  use the  alternative to  medicine to  help calm him down,,so  well see how that turns  out.

so  am i doing the  right thing,,,anyone  please reply and  help im at wits  end today and so  tired and stressed out .....

staced7238947.3367824074Do you have consequences and rewards in place related to specific problem behaviors at the daycare that are carried out consistently?

YES THEY DO  AND WE USE THE  SAME AT  HOME"

 

Have you tried reading "Transforming the difficult Child" by Howard Glasser?
I read it and bought his CD's. I am not saying that your son is a "difficult
child". I bring this book up because it gives you a discipline method that is
for kids with more intense personalities. The author doesn't like to "label"
kids. He says that regular discipline methods that work for average children,
do nothing for more intense kids. They basically have more intensity than
normal and don't know what to do with it. They are not bad kids, they just
need a different approach to discipline. I use it with my kids (ds 6 yr old
ADHD, dd 3 1/2 no issues for now). I was so stressed out and tired of
yelling all the time. It does work. You need support to get through this.
Look into a local support group perhaps. Moms are on the front lines
typically - dealing with schools, daycare, etc. It's hard, but you are not
alone.I'd say that the way he is acting could be significant to his self esteem -- we also have a 4 year old with ADHD and are treating with alternative medicine -- specifically supplements.  In addition, routine and consistency are key.  I'd have to disagree with your husband -- peer relationships begin to become somewhat important at this age.  Good luck on using the alternatives -- there's a good section on this board if you need some more info.  Hang in there and welcome to the board.