She’s driving me nuts!!! | ADHD Information

CAN RELATE WELL TO A ADHD/ODD CHILD. WE JUST HAVE TO GIVE VERY SIMPLE DIRECT INSTRUCTIONS. BOTH OUR KIDS ARE TROUBLE. THEY BOTH HATE HOUSE WORK. CONSEQUENCES DON'T MATTER TO THEM.

VITAMINS ARE HELPING THOUGH!ALLERGIE AVOIDANCE ALSO HELPS OUT HERE!

thank you all so much for your comments and suggestions. I went to the doctor and they put me on an anti-depressant. I can already feel myself relaxing a bit. Hopefully it will get better. We can only take it one day at a time i guess.

INaBox, I have her help out with the baby alot and she gladly does it.  I even tell her that she has to be a good example for her baby sister because she is going to look up to her, but it doesn't work.  Some days she is good and some she is bad. I guess we have all experinced this. I see that now since joining this forum. thanks for your input.

Frustrated Mother

You have allot on your plate.  Your lack of focus and concentration makes sense.  Dealing with a new baby and a child who is ADHD and defiant really can wear down a person.  Fatigue, lack of sleep, and depression can cause focus problems.

I know allot of times I wish I could just run away because I get so overwhelmed.  I began having a huge problem with anxiety trying to deal with my ADHD defiant son and my relationship problems and my other son's feelings of being ignored because his ADHD twin always gets the attention.  Negative albeit-attention.

I pick my battles, take me time, and pray for strength.  Oh ya I went on an antidepressant too  I still struggle but joining this forum helps me know I am not alone and neither are you

Ang

Disengage is right! Maybe she's looking for attention now that there's a new baby in the house. Maybe you can get her involved with taking care of the baby? Just an idea. If she likes to argue, it's really difficult to argue by yourself .. there's no one to feed off of. I think walking away and ignoring her is best. Make sure you point out all her good behaviours instead so she's not feeling neglected. Hugs to you. I can relate, believe me.Wow!! I understand how having an ADHD child as well as spouse can be overwhelming.  My husband was diagnosed with anxiety and hypertension - but from all that I have researched on adult ADHD - I think he was misdiagnosed.  My son who is 11 was diagnosed with ADHD - having the two of them in the same household at times can be very overwhelming - I want to run away from home.  But instead what I have tried to do is to allow myself to take care of myself as much as possible.  Simple things - like let the housework go a few extra days - or go to bed early (with an infant this might not be possible).  Anyway whatever it is that will give you some pleasure of your own, do it as often as time permits.  Maybe you will need to get a sitter for a couple of hours here and there - to go window shopping or go get a coffee by yourself.  I also have a 13 year old daughter who can care for her brother - so I am able to go out for a bit if I need to.  Anyway, do what it takes to take care of yourself even if it is really small stuff to begin with. Let me add to that....... her father and I are divorced and have been for almost 6 years. I am remarried and my current husband works two jobs to make ends meet, hence the reason for getting no help. So i am having to deal with both of my children at the same time. I have tried so hard to be strong and deal with what God has presented to me, but I am having such a hard time with her. Why do you feel that way?  Because you work ft, have to deal with an ADHD spouse, an ADHD oppositional child, and an infant!  You need some help.  You need time to yourself.  Try to stop engaging in power struggles.  Disengage, disengage, disengage because no one wins.  Go to your doc and get some meds for yourself if you need to.  I did and it helps immensely with coping and stress.  And if you might also consider family counseling to get some ideas on managing her behaviors.  We are doing that also and are finding that helpful.  Do it now before the behaviors become too ingrained to change.My 9 year old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD about 2 years ago. Since then, it has been an emotional roller coaster for me. We have tried so many different types of meds to clam her down and get her to focus on what she is doing. the meds either made her feel sick or moody, or just flat out didn't work. She is a very defiant little girl and very strong willed, which makes it even worse. She is at the age where she wants to argue about everything because she thinks she is right. At times, I get so tired of screaming and yelling at her that I just walk away and ignore her. Even her friends at school and Karate know her as the girl who talks alot. She just doesn't shut up. I work a full time job and on top of that I have a 6 month old baby. By the time I get home from work, i want a little calmness, well forget that. My mind starts to run and it is almost like I feel like she is affecting how I feel. I dont know if this makes since or not, but I am beginning to feel like I have ADHD. I cannot concentrate, i cannot focus on anything. When I am around her, it gets worse. I have never had this problem. Her father has major ADHD and I know that is where she gets it from. Why am i feeling this way? Could I just be overwhelmed with all of her activity???