Lack of personal freedom and peace! | ADHD Information

I'm getting really sick and tired of the lack of freedom in life. It feels like no matter where I go, or what I do, people are always watching and trying to interfere with my life, and treat me badly because I don't do what everyone else does and conform to their ways.

The best times that I actually enjoy life the most is when I'm by myself, away from people's watchful eyes and nosy questions.

When I'm at work, people are always watching and asking what I'm doing if I take a moment to pause and think.

People in social situations treat me crappy because I mind my own business and try not to bother anyone.

I was bike riding in some woods today, I stopped to take a leak, and a helicopter started circling around, so I rode out of the woods and found myself being followed for 4 miles or so until I finally lost the helicopter in some residential neighborhood. I did nothing wrong or illegal, I was just enjoying my freetime in the woods by myself. WTF?

Also, the in-laws I'm staying with, always ask me questions about what I'm doing, and when the Mother in law found my lighter, she started asking me tons of questions, until I told her, I'm a 24 year old adult, I can have a lighter if I want, and it beats using matches, and if I'm smoking or not is none of her business, then she left me alone. I hope she never finds me drinking!

I feel like since my life has started since youth, that people are always trying to supervise me, and at 24 yrs of age, I've more than had enough.

I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO LEAVE ME ALONE AND ALLOW ME TO LIVE IN PEACE!!!

ADHDinsane, Finances, or the lack of should I say, can sometimes put us in places or with people we don't want to be with and the only way out is to work hard and press forward and try not to let anything hold us back. I have to admit that until I left home I never really felt true independance. Sometimes you have to give up some things to get that freedom. I agree with LCdc that you probably should try to get a place of your own. Regarding the helicopter thing, it sounds like maybe they were looking for someone in particular and were just checking out everything. The woods is a likely place if someone is trying to hide and you just happened to be there. Sorry you had to go through that, sounds awful. I truely hope things get better for you soon. Please take care and keep writing. Dee lostmyshoe38955.8163078704

I think you should see a doctor. It sounds like you are very depressed. That is common with ADHD. Please don't take what I am saying negatively. I don't think it will help you if I avoid the issues here.

I have a couple of questions. Why are you looking for a nice sexy girl if you are married? You are staying with your inlaws and looking for another woman? To be honest, it sounds like you are giving them reason to not trust you. Even if you aren't doing anything outright in front of them, I'm sure they can read the signals. If you were married to my daughter, I'd be watching you too.

In this area, people have been known to grow pot in the woods. Police helicopters fly around over corn fields and woods all the time in the summer looking for that. If they know or strongly suspect there is some growing in the area you are in, they would be trying to get an idea of where you can be found. If you ran to get away from them, they would really suspect you.

There must be a clinic or something that you can go to and see a dr. I really think that if you can get diagnosed and treated, it will help your depression and you will start to feel better about life. Its hard, but you really need to find a way to get some control over your life.

You can do it! I know you can! You will feel much better about yourself once you force yourself to take action.

Sorry for such a lengthy post, I was WAY too drunk last night, and I probably shouldn't have said all that. Alcohol tends to bring a lot out

Next time, I'll just stay off the computer after a drink LOL

And the picture is funny

But seriously, I could not stand having a girl with headlice. Also, there's no children involved which helped me with my decision to leave her. If I would have had kids, I would have gone crazy, because I don't want a dysfunctional family, because I came from one. I wouldn't want to leave any kids with a "mother" like that, so I'm glad we never had kids.

[quote]/You both sound kinda ? immature.[/quote]
Be specific, what do you mean by that? I thought I was being more immature by actually staying with her and dealing with it, instead of leaving her a long time ago.

Think about it if you were in that situation with your husband. I think if you had a husband that never thought he was wrong and had headlice and did nothing about it that you would leave him and not want to have any of his kids. That's how I felt about my wife. When I get my own place real soon, I'm going to finalize the divorce and mail her the divorce papers.
But enough about my depression about my marriage........

Back to the subject of personal freedom.

What's a good way to try to get freedom in my life?

How do I avoid people's nosy questions nicely without making enemies?

How do I avoid people asking me to do personal favors for them?

How do I get people in general to treat me as an adult instead of treating me like a teen? (remember I'm 24)

How do I keep people from watching me?

BTW, this forum is great, and I kindly appreciate all of your replies. Because of your personal disclosure about your wife you seemed immature but if you were drunk I understand a little more.
Your wife seems immature because of not taking care of her personal hygiene.

I'm glad to hear when you start a family someday that you are thinking about their well-being before you have them. Love starts before they are born. Choosing the mother of your child is very important and vice-versa. I made a big mistake with my first child even though i never regret having him. You bind the other family to you the rest of your life with children.
I also come from a dysfunctional family. That may be part of your problem but you have choices to make now. Actually you are free in a sense. Marriage dosen't have to be a prison sentence. Life is too short to live a lie. Life is not easy and noone ever said it would be.

Be aware and enjoy the GOOD THINGS that come your way. Alot DOES depend on your attitude. Keep a positive mental picture of the type of person you aspire to be (realistically,) always hold that picture and I think a 75-80% chance that you will become that person that you want to be. It will take some work I don't know how much because I don't know you. You seem intelligent but maybe you have to work on your EQ (emotional quotient).
If you take responsibility for yourself and grow you will quit being treated like a teen by others. You know there are 2 sides to every coin.
Be your own father to yourself. Watch over yourself. Practice MENTAL HYGIENE.
If people ask you nosy questions tell them you appreciate their concern but some things have to remain private in your life. That is your RIGHT. I wish you luck !!

Learning and practicing to say NO is one the most important ingredients for HAPPINESS. It gets easier the more you do it.
But life also has to be giving and taking. This is completely natural.
If the person is kind I would be more than willing to help, it just depends if you are able and willing. Usually what goes around ,comes around.
worldisround38958.4183680556

Only if I am in a rare depressed mood!!!! Get outta your in laws and get out on your own!!!

I am the opposite and usually internalize my mistakes and blame myself for things I may not even have control over - I tend to be the hardest on myself!!!

I do have a temper though, on the impulsive side if I percieve an injustice or someone really pushes my buttons - I have an in your face blow up!!!! These are getting better though!!!! I realized I had to face my own issues head on and learn to deal with them to make myself happy before the world was right!!!

FEEL BETTER SOON OR I'LL CRY!

It's not just a bad day, it's me going crazy because I'm finding no satisfaction in life. People want me to live their way, and I want to live my way. I'm getting no stimulation, I just want to feel accepted by others, have a nice sexy girl with good hygiene, a place to live by myself, and feel good and relaxed. I want to be able to have the freedom to do whatever I want in my own privacy.

And why the hell did I get chased by a helicopter??!?!?

When I get the money, I'm thinking of seeking professional help, however I don't trust that either because I'm afraid they won't listen, and give me typical recited responses to my issues.Do any of you here in the forums feel that way, like it's hard to accomplish what you want because of other people? Do you feel a strong lack of privacy wherever you go?Sorry to hear you had a bad day. Sometimes it helps just to vent. Hope your weekend is better. ditto. [QUOTE=barb]

[/QUOTE]

Well, I want to leave this girl for good. Real nice at first, then problems emerged.

Well, the girl I married has a strange problem. A pretty girl, but a bit odd. I was afraid to admit what the problems were here, but I'll go ahead. I was overly nice to her for 3 yrs. She got headlice and of course she gave them to me. Gross! I am replulsed by these nasty things, and insisted that she get rid of these things. I always went through my hair with a fine toothed comb and Rid to remove them. I would also go through her hair when she would let me. However, she would barely try to do anything about the lice. She just acted like it was no big deal and got mad at me if I even mentioned it nicely. However I don't like the idea of any bugs in my hair. When I would get rid of them, I'd catch them back again! I even threatened to dump her about it. I even refused to have sex with her sometimes. And if she got rid of the bugs, they would come back because she did not keep up with it, and the eggs hatch, and the lice would return.

Also we were having marriage problems, and she said she would be happy if she went to NC to see her "biological" mom, so I quit my job, and moved up to NC to make her happy. However her family up in NC tried to keep her from me and would refuse to accept she had headlice! Anything she did was not ever wrong and they acted like I was insane or something. They acted like they were trying to protect her from me?!?!? They even tried to say I gave them to her!

Also she didn't shower as often as me, and sometimes her puss would stink and I didn't want to go down on her. Sometimes it would not stink.

Another problem is that I could not say anything to her withour her flipping out on me. It's like it was MY fault if she was wrong for something. I mentioned about the overheated car's engine boiling, and she acted like it was my fault for pointing it out. She said to me one time that I was overreacting about the lice. I'm sorry but it took her 3 years and she still did NOT get rid of the damn things. She came to visit recently and I saw two bugs in her damn hair!!!! Then she even lied to me and said they were gone. The ONLY way I got rid of them is to leave her. It only took me a month to get rid of them for good! I have no bugs and it feels great! No itches, no scabs or swollen bumps on my scalp! Why the hell does she still have them after 3 years?

However, the inlaws think we are just having marriage problems and allowed me to stay with them. However they think I'm trying to work things out and get back with my wife, but after all this crap, I DO NOT EVER want to get back with her.

I'm depressed about the thing, and even though I left her, I do miss the good times we had together and having someone there. However, I'm now searching for other women, no to be in a confined relationship, but to just see what's out there and have some fun. I think you and your partner both have serious problems.

You should both see a doctor. Marriage counselor, if you still love her ?

I can't imagine her parents keeping her away from you unless it's for a good reason.

You both sound kinda ? immature.

And you shouldn't be looking for other women until your'e seperated or divorced.
There is no point to seek other women till you get your head together.

I hope you don't have children because this sounds like they would grow up in a major dysfunctional family atmosphere.

I think sharing information about your womans genitals..shall we say problem is going a little too far and something we didn't need to know ?

Tell your woman you would find sex more desireable with her when she starts aquainting herself with soap and water ?
Hey you gave me an idea how to keep my husband away from me !!

Just kidding !

Get help fast !
Dirrty;br

worldisround38958.2487268519

Finding the right person is always a challenge!!!! If you are always critical of people in a relationship, maybe you should not get serious for awhile!!!

Some of the things people critize in others can be a reflection of what they don't like in themselves.

The whole lice thing is interesting to me - yeah lice are nasty and you can get rid of them if you are persistent!!! But, lice don't always occur because of bad hygiene. The cases of lice and other parasites are on the rise due to large populations and some of this stuff building up a resistance to chemicals we use to kill them. If you ever have kids they have a big chnace of contracting lice at least once in their lifetime and I would hope you would help them instead of thinking they are nasty kids!!!

Maybe you should have been more collaborative with your wife instead of putting her down!!!

It sounds like you are making some strides in working on your friends - it is a give and take in friendships and relationships.

Take my comments in stride - cause I don't know you or your situation. Just coming in with a different perspective!!! Have you got some help with understanding your adhd yet? Good luck!!!