Linda, I'm glad you were able to touch this boy's life and make a difference for him.
I'm guessing that this young man always had more than ADHD going on, and it was never addressed properly, which is why he spun out of control. Anyone who needs mood stabilizers or psychotropics doesn't have just ADHD (I know -- I have two children with bipolar disorder; one received an ADHD dx at age 9, but that was far from the whole picture). My point is make sure you have the right dx. That in and of itself can make all the difference for your child.
My job involves me having contact with kids who are hospitalized at a private psychiatric hospital. Yesterday I saw a kid who touched my heart. He was 17 and ANGRY at his mom. Apparently he has ADHD and refused to take his meds, he and mom had some issues I guess and she put him out. He tells me that he has been living with his girlfriends family but I think he went home and he and mom had an incident that got so bad that she called the police and told the police to "shoot him"...whew! Son was probably out of control so the police took him to the crisis center and they shipped him off to the hospital. I spoke to him and he was soooooooooo tense and filled with anger. REminded me of my own nutcase WEll I tried to talk to the young man to get him to realize that he needed to make peace with mom so that AT LEAST she would give permission for him to live with girlfriend's family...I reassured him that he was entitled to his angry feelings but so is mom and they have to find some common ground...I also reassured him that she loves him, despite it all...( sigh) and we talked about school, his plans for the future, etc.. I want you all to understand that this kid was FURIOUS at his mother and just containing it inside him....
WELL, while we spoke he told me that I was making him mad and I told him that I didnt mean to and that I was on his side...AND while we spoke a BIG tear swelled up in his eye and ran down his cheek. He got up and walked away and rejoined his friends. While he sat with the other kids I watched him and he kept dabbing at his eye with a napkin.. Somehow I touched him...I wish I knew what it was that I said...
But I think the lesson is ...ADHD is a hard condition to live with for us all...the kid and the family....we have to be patient with our kids.. we all have the potential of being in this mother's shoes..angry, frustrated, hurt, depressed, etc .....ADHD teenagers are a handful and VERY frustrating and they push you RIGHT to the limit of sanity ..... but they could end up like this poor young man...put out by his mom due to his over-the-top behavior when not on meds...now in a psych hospital with a diagnosis of Impulse Control Disorder and taking a different class of medication called mood stabilizer or psychotropics ( no longer on Ritalin) and possibly placed in some residential facility....
There but for the Grace of God could go any one of us.....if you do, pray for this young man and his mom and for all moms of teenage boys with ADHD...and lets be patient with ours.
Thanks for listening
Teen years are hard ones in general and I for one do not look forward to them. I am working on getting answers now and helping her now so as she grows older she will be more adjusted. It is sad the stressers on both sides the mom and kid and yes there may be more than adhd involved.Same thing happened to me when i was 15. a little different though. i