Pls Help a newbie | ADHD Information

As with the other people responding, I could so very much relate to what you are going through.  School starts next week and I am trying to prepare myself that the first month is going to be rough.  I have a question though for Momiss.  You said your son did not do well in group settings and it was a rough start every school year.  Is there anything you can do to make it easier for the child?  Or do you just have to accept that this is the way it is going to be until they settle in and see what the structured routine will be. 

 

I have been having alot of anger issues with my son.  My throat is so sore now from saying don't do this and no so much the last two days.  I find though that when things are calmer in the house he is a less angry 6 year old.

 

I will be calling tomorrow to look for a psychologist for behaviour management help.  I have put it off, but it is long overdue.

 

 

maybe you should try different meds?

I can relate here too. I had Dillon at age 32 and he is my 1st. I have often wondered why I ever had a child! He makes me so mad, he irritates the heck out of me, I want to stay working most days so I don't have to deal with him. Then there are times I love him so much, he makes me laugh, I marvel at the things he creates and says.......the ups and downs of raising a child. But no, you are not alone!

I want to get my child help if what I am trying now does not work. But ya know what, this sounds so selfish- I own my own business and my husband works LONG hours, how do I find time to take him to appt's for counciling and such? My business only allows me 1 day off a week and weekends. No exceptions.

I was also wondering, Dillon being an only child with no other kids to play with close by, could that be another reason he acts out, he's starved for kid attention and just wants to play and talk in school? We work alot, but we do many things with him too by the way...LOL

DillonsMom38958.8367939815Hi and welcome.  Well, I've BTDT also, not so long ago!  So I feel your pain.  Here is what we did:  first, IEP--classroom interventions are important for us.  Next, medication.  It takes potentially a long time to find the right one, so it isn't necessarily a quick fix.  Next, counseling, to help both daughter with  some issues and to also help dh and I do the right thing parenting-wise.  Next, dealing with my depression.  That helped a lot.  So you see we have a kind of multi-pronged approach to dealing with ADHD.

ok, i've been there and lived trough it!!!!!  There are several things that you HAVE TO DO. 

1.  Call the school's councilor and ask for an A.R.D. meeting.  It will take a few weeks to get every one together, but they will test your son for OHIs (other health impairments).  Then you all sit down and go over all of his weaknesses and strengths and try to get and IEP (individual education plan) that will be tailored to his needs.  you will get a modified lesson plan and if needed a modified behavioral plan.  That is the best start for you!

2.  Go to a different dr.  Either a neuropsychologist or a child psychologist.  They will do the proper testing to find out exactly what is going on and exactly how to treat your son. 

3.  Take a break for your self.  I remember when my son was in prek - the first grade.  I would DREAD the phone to ring.  i got caller id and started screening the calls.  I made a decision to keep my sanity when my son was at school.  If it's important enough to call, they will have to put in writing and send it home.  I found that the teachers would call and complain, i soon realized that the teachers were not just frustrated with my son, but i was the only parent that would listen to her gripe.  as soon as she got the hint I was unavailable for the phone call, she found ways to fix the problems.  That is their job.  And if it is an emergency, they will leave a message.  Life at school is hard on ADHD kids.  Teachers tend to lean harder on the children that have parents that will listen to them vent.  If they want to complain, make it all in writing.  Trust me, they will not sit down and write it for too long.  All you will have to do is call the school and set up an ard meeting, go over their findings and recommendations and the notes will stop!  They need to find the right way to teach him.  It is possible to have ADHD and make it through school just fine.

Give yourself a break!  Every parent needs to escape for the drama every now and then.  Try using the marble system for discipline at home and keep it consistent year round and even include trouble from school in it.  Adhd children think totally opposite the way a "normal" child does.  They have to have a hands on approach with their discipline.  If you give him that, you will find that your life will be much simpler.  It does get better!  I promise! 

Keep us posted.  And if you want the marble system, tell me and i'll post it for you.  I created it and have been using it for over 2 years now and it still works.

Thanks for the advise. I wrote down what I need to tell the counciler.

I would like to know about the marble system.....I have not had time to read all through this site yet, you can post about it here and I will print it out or something.

I had a talk with his teacher this morning, she said he is not that bad, just very hyper and won't stay focused. He is not getting in bad trouble at least....LOL She said she will stay consistant in re-directing his behavior at school and I can stay consistant at home. Dillon loves his TV and icecream time before bed. When he gets a bad face for the day at school, that priveledge gets taken away. I talked to the assistant principal this morning too, she is Dr. Fields. We sat down as we have many times already in the past 3 years. LOL I said here I am again and it's only been 3 weeks! She said he is a good kid, not to worry about him. She also told me to try giving him caffine. I know about this but have not tried yet. It works like a homeopathic remedy, like cures like. I will try it tomorrow. If it works a little, that would be great, she said I could send some to school too and he could drink it in the day if it helps. (No, I am not going to overload my child with coffee) hehe I am concerned about his health.

DillonsMom38959.474525463

I started this and it is a “hands on” discipline program that most ADHD kids will respond to.  ADHD kids need to participate in their discipline.  They do well if they are able to have hands on and participate in.  If they can see it, they will respond to it.  This is what I do.  I keep a log, but he is the one to add and remove the marbles.  I am also ADHD, so this system works for me to keep consistency in our home.