new here, stressing out a lot! | ADHD Information

Hi everyone.  My name is Amy, and I'm a mom of 3 kids.  My middle child, Joseph, has ADHD combined type, as well as some significant speech and language delays.  He is four years old and started pre-kindergarten yesterday.  I'm going rather nuts here because emphasis has been put on the speech issues, and the ADHD has been virtually ignored (by me included... I think I was led to believe that once the speech issues were resolved, his behavior would improve... which has happened, but he's still out of control!!)  He's loud, has a hard time sitting still, has a hard time paying attention, lately is getting more... sassy, I guess.  He's always been a sweet kid, though rowdy.  Now that he has started school, I am more aware of the ADHD.  His teacher said she had to re-direct him often, and she had to be with him whenever they walked anywhere or else he'd have run or wandered away from the group.  When I picked him up yesterday, we had to wait for a few minutes for his sister, and he would run off here and there, or else lay down in the middle of the hall and roll around, etc.  It really opened my eyes as to how different, how behind, he is.  I'm not sure where to turn to.  He has a case worker from Early Intervention services, but she doesn't seem really on the ball about things-- as I said, she's not said a word about his ADHD diagnosis, and I take blame for that too because I should have been paying more attention.  To top it off, my husband doesn't think there's anything wrong.  He refuses to think about medication for Joseph, and doesn't seem to think Joseph's behavior is different than any other 4 year old.  So there's little support at home.  I feel sick every day, worrying, and only being told I'm borrowing trouble.  Should I call Joseph's case worker, or try to get an appointment with the school?  I wrote on his school forms about the speech and the ADHD, and he will be having speech therapy at school starting in about a week and a half, but NOTHING has been said about the ADHD.  I'm lost here... please help!  Thanks everyone, for any advice.

Hello and welcome Amy,

You are lucky to have a diagnosis this young.  I knew my son had problems by the time he was 3, but I didn't know what they were and his preschool teachers always brushed off my concerns, saying it was normal for kids this age to be impulsive and distractable.  When we took him to a therapist she focused on our discipline and told us that he didn't listen and follow directions because he was ignoring us and he didn't want to.

If you are concerned about the ADHD not being addressed you should talk to both his teacher and the case worker.  Let them know how much you appreciate the speech services, but that you are worried about the ADHD affecting his education.  You will most likely be told that they need to wait and see if that's the case.  But keep on top of it.  In my experience the school administration would just like to "wait and see" until he's out of their school. 

You will probably get your most valuable info from the teacher, as she's with him every day.  Write down everything she tells you about his behavior in class.  If you can, get her to email you updates about behavior and concerns so you have it in her words.  I've found that you basically have to "make your case" to get help for this. 

I also found that at this age 1-2-3 Magic worked well to get my son's behavior under control and using it along with reward charts for good behavior helped a great deal.   

 

Hello.  How much is the ADHD interfering with his learning?  Since school just started, you don't know.  See what his teacher says a week or two from now.  He just started, and he may be adjusting to school.  Do some research on this site and other places to see what you will need to do if you learn that indeed his ADHD is impacting his learning.  Read some of the other threads too.  I'm new here, and my impression is that there are a lot of very knowledgeable, understanding people who post here, with good insight.

IMHO, outside of impacting his learning and his safety (and that of the other kids), if the school doesn't think the ADHD is an issue, then they must be able to handle it, right?  I think you know what I mean.  Just make sure he's learning and that he's safe.  Just my 2 cents.  Good luck.