Oh my, that's a set up for failure! If you cannot meet with teacher to modify the smiley face thing now, I'd send her a note to please stop rating your child with the faces until you can discuss it. It's just making him upset.
Sorry you're having those issues. I've been there.
Yes, your son does seem to have the classic ADHD symptoms (the "in your face" behavior appears to be a lack of knowledge/regulation of personal space and is, IMHO, a social cue issue). But NoTellin is right -- the eval is your best course, and a private one is better. Start documenting what is said at the meetings. Also, see if you can help the school come up with a simplified behavior chart for your child with quicker rewards. The rewards can be extra attention from the teacher (a story, being the teacher's special helper in the classroom, being a leader in an activity). Your son could also be bored, since he's smart.
At home, I've tried my own charts, but things are so hectic, it's hard to keep up with them. But you can try one, and rewards can be cheap or no-cost. My son likes trips to the dollar store, extra stories at bedtime.
Something quiet in his hand to help him keep his hands to himself may work. A squeeze ball or stress ball, for instance. You may find something similar in a dollar store.
A valuable thing to do is to go to class one day and observe him, and take notes. You will be able to see how he does in class and how the class does or does not work for him.
Good luck.
I've been having my son write the sentence "I will not touch other kids" daily because he's very visual. I wound up with a zero touching policy when after a year I concluded that he doesn't understand the nuances of personal space. The black and white approach is working better. If I see him touch another kid, then he has to write the sentence 20 times.Those are typical ADHD behaviors, but you really need to get him evaluated. Get a private eval before authorizing the school to evaluate him, if that's what they request at the conference.
Reward systems work the best. Check the Marble System thread. For the smiley face thing at school, it needs to be broken down into smaller chunks of time, 3 per day at the least. He needs to experience success to be motivated. Keep making the time period smaller until he is successful. One rating for a full day = consistent failure, expecially for a 5 yo.
The smiley face is for a whole week. They get heir folders every wednesday.
Courtney
Hi, I'm new to this board and my 5 yr old ds has been in kindergarden for 4 weeks now and I have been called in for a conference. I'm afraid he has adhd.
He's been in a church run preschool since he was 3 and here are some of the things I've been dealing with the last 2 years.
He can't keep his hands to himself. Not violent just agrevatting other children. He a very in your face type of kid. This has been a everyday problem for the last 2 years.
Can't sit still and doesn't follow directions well. Everyday.
Get easily frustrated when his work is not perfect. Gets very angry fast. Inapproiate anger (the little stuff)
Argues with everyone, would argue with a stop sign if it talked to him.
Impulsive behaviors. Gets in trouble for the same thing over and over.
We have tried spanking, time out, take away toys, lose privilages. Nothing seems to work. He cried for over an hour yesterday because I told him if he got a smiley face for behavior at school I would take him to get an ice cream. Well he didn't get the smiley face so no ice cream. He cries and tels me he can't be good, he tries but he can't. I have a conference with his teacher tomorrow. On the flip side, he is very intelligent, a fast learner. He just can't seem to control his behavior and actions. At preschool notes were sent home atleast 3 times a week for these problems. Does this sound like adhd?
Courtney
Sounds to me like he is too. I am no expert though, I have not had my son evaluated yet either. I know by everything I have read on ADHD that he definately is. He has had problems since daycare. In Pre-K, Kindergarden and 1st grade he got in lots of trouble, suspentions in and out of school, referrals, many parent teacher, principal parent conferences. I put him back in 1st grade agian this year (he turned 7 Aug 10th) and already the frowny faces are 3 and 4 times a week. I am thankful he is not aggressive this year though. Just talking, not staying on task etc. He is doing better, has good days and bad. I just ordered the FOCUS.....hoping it will calm him! DillonsMom38961.7797106481My 5 yr old is in a very similar situation. At home he just can't focus on what I'm saying at times or it takes several times for me to make a request before he can do it. At school, his frustration level is a lot lower so he's been having daily outbursts. I implemented a journal with the teacher and everyday she writes to me about his day so that I can start to keep track of his meltdowns and figure out the triggers or just to make sure he's able to keep focused on the work. Just know that your son doesn't want to be this way, in fact, he really wants to please you and the teacher and earn that sticker. It's just hard for them and they cannot articulate why they are unable to focus or control their emotions. I have to keep telling myself this. I agree with the other posts that say he's got to have more frequent rewards to help him get through the day and raise his self esteem. You will be successful if you have a teacher who is willing to work with you and your child to figure out the best way to help him be the best he can be. I hope your teacher conference went well.I'm having the teacher/perent conference today. I'll leave an update later. Thanks for all the replies.
Courtney
I was also in for a conference with the Kindgarten teacher during my sons first weeks of K. It took a few months, but eventually we got the diagnosis of ADHD and we found his teacher to be quite helpful with us to implement an immediate reward system. We also started him on meds and have to say it was night and day. We had certainly suspected the diagnosis from about 3yrs. old -- the impulsiveness was unreal -- on his 3rd. birthday I have him on video reaching over and flinging the juicebox of the girl next to him, and general being overly silly in situation where he was expected to listen (library story time).
I would consider how his behavior has been up to this point, as he may not like the teacher or something. Start by consulting your doctor. If you are faced with this diagnosis, this board is a wealth of information! Best of luck to you.
Sounds like it to me. But i'd still get him checked to make sure.