I started noticing something different about my daughter when she turned 3. Her father had left around that time so I chalked it up to that. Pediatrician told me not to worry, children are very resilent, etc. Well as time went on it just got worse. Temper tantrums, very moody, extremely active, lot's of difficulty following directions, etc. She suffers from asthma so I thought perhaps the inhaled steriods were causing this. But she does not take them in the summer and she is still the same, no change. In preschool I often heard that she was a very emotional child, had to be the "leader" - bossy, had difficulty following directions and she had poor self-help skills. Nothing of ADHD was mentioned at that time. By the middle of her Kindergarten year she was bringing notes home on a daily basis. Work was coming home that she was not finishing during class. I was told she was very easily distracted, extremely active - always up out of her seat and constantly talking to the other children. She had difficulty following directions and could be very definant when she was not getting her way. Still a very emotional child, who was prone to meltdowns. At this point Becky had just turned six and I knew this was no longer "just a phase". I called pupil services and explained to them what was happening at school and home and I felt that she should be evaluated for ADHD. I also had an appointment with her pediatrician and voiced my concerns to her. She refered us to a psychologist for evaluation. The school also did an evaluation.
Results: The school says yes, she has ADHD. The psychologist says give it 6 months - he would like to see her again. If nothing has improved than yes, she has ADHD. It will be 6 months at the end of September. Thus far nothing has improved. Some weeks are worse than others.
My mother is in total denial. It must be something I am doing or not doing. I spend more time with my kid, doing more stuff - scouts, soccer, etc. then she every did with us. I deal with alot of crap from her - it makes me nuts.
Her father wants to medicate, medicate, medicate!!! I'm not ready for that step and the psychologist at the time felt that if she was doing ok as far as grades than not to worry about it. But her behavior is getting worse so I am seriously starting to contemplate it.
I was told by someone that raising a child with ADHD is the toughest job you will ever have. I think it just might be..........
Beckysmom38961.2803819444
Sorry this went into the wrong board.
Sorry no one responded so far. If you're not ready to medicate, check out the alternative's board (if you haven't already). I have a soon to be 6 year old child with ADHD and I've yet to medicate him. He's doing really well. You just have to figure out what his triggers are. Best of luck and don't beat yourself up. Not everyone believes in ADD/ADHD so don't hold that against your mom. At the same time, don't internalize her negativity either. Maybe you could use a little break from her.You are right not to jump into using meds first, the first step should be a good behavior modification program. If that fails then you can decide which route to take whether to continue or try natural stuff or meds. My daughter was on meds. last year and I was terrified but you know what it did help her a lot and turned out to be a godsend. I only gave it to her during school I was able to do that always check with the prescribing doctor. This year we are going back to behavior mod and it is going to be run by the research study she is on , I posted the websites under the topic of research study for you can download for free the plan she is using only it will be modified to meet my girls needs and you can do the same. Another member designed her own marble system which is good as well look for posts by Ogram marble system if you wish to try that one less printing.
As for the father if you have full custody he has less of a say for you take care of your child more it is your choice and a hard one.
you don't have to medicate straight away if you don't want to.
you could try behavioral therapy,play therapy,massage therapy,movement therapy,homeopathy first and see if it improves then consider meds.
yes it is very hard to raise an ADHD child,but it seems to be harder on the teachers than the parents sometimes.
as from your mother,my mother also gave me a hard time but not for my son's ADHD,it was for my ADD and me deciding to take concerta,i decided that this subject was off limit if she can't give me support.
my son is not medicated yet and we are trying all the things mentionned earlier.
I wouldn't waste any time or emotional energy trying to get your mom out of denial. This is common with grandparents. It comes from (usually) uninformed ignorance. You are the parent, thus responsible for getting your child the help she needs. If you start getting crap from you mom over your decision to proactively seek help for you daughter.....distance yourself from your mom. A lot of us have had to do that. In a perfect world.... a grandparent will accept the fact that the child has a special need and be willing to do anything and everything to support her treatment. But in reality....it many times doesn't work that way.
Re...medication. Here is my take. From what you've posted, your daughter is really struggling. It's great to try non-medication alternatives. However, in our case, we waited until age 10 in 5th grade to try meds because we had done our research and learned that finding the right med and dose was very complicated and time consuming. In hindsight....my son struggled for years unneccessarily. By the time we decided to try meds, he was an emotional wreck from the daily struggle to keep up and be accepted. It took a huge toll on his self esteem.
Consider the longer term outlook here for your daughter. Friendships, self esteem, ability to learn, etc. The non acceptance from classmates decimated my son's confidence and self esteem.
Get a good evaluation of your child's strengths and weaknesses. Rule out any co morbid issues such anxiety, bipolar (since Dad is BP), learning disabilities, etc. Once you've got a better understanding of your child's issues, consider a multiple approach treament.....supplements, educational plan (IEP), therapy, and if needed.... perhaps medication.
Good luck. Stay on the boards. Lots of parents in your shoes! Okiemom
Just my opinion, of course...
I am glad that we started with behavior modification first because if we started with meds first, I would not have known how much improvement was due to behavior modification. I would also have been second guessing whether the meds were needed (for us the behavior modification has helped but is not enough).
On the other hand, my daughter had a horrid year at school last year and started exhibiting anxiety, depression and defiance. If we had the diagnosis earlier and had started meds, maybe she would not have had to go through this.
With the asthma meds (does she use an albuterol inhailer for rescue in addition to the steriods?), ADHD meds may be more complecated for her.
Good luck on your journey, we are on a similar one.
You may want to dig deeper and take this child to a NeuroPsych. He has some behaviors that could transcend, yet mimic ADHD. That's what I would do. As for Mom, who cares if she "gets it?" She doesn't have to. You do. You can spend a lot of time and tears trying to get others to "get it" when they've set their minds against it. Mom isn't the parent; you are. I hope you see that NeuroPsych. I wouldn't trust a regular therapist or a school district person, no matter what his title is. We got nowhere with either. good luck.We struggled with all sorts of 'learning disability' diagnoses for years - not knowing my son had ADD (no hyperactivity). My son has been in special ed and had all sorts of support services. He had a VERY hard time making friends because he was 'different', and in fact was somewhat ostracized because of his impulsiveness and temper.
We found out towards the end of last school year (5th grade) that he has ADD. We started him on meds and WOW, what a difference. I'm actually looking forward to the school year - he starts middle school this year. I think it's a great opportunity for him to make friends, since he'll be on the meds and is in a new school.
On the one hand, I'm glad we didn't know about the ADD right away, because that means we tried EVERYTHING we could think of to help him deal with life better - psychotherapy (he's still in it), behavior mods, tutoring, special ed classes, speech, OT etc. etc. On the other hand, I feel bad that he struggled so much to deal with other kids and school. I sort of feel that we're very lucky he has a problem that can be dealt with through medication. Having struggled for so many years, however, lets me put him on medication and know it's the right thing for him.
Starting your kid on meds is an extremely personal issue. If you do get a diagnosis of ADD/ADHD, I would definitely meet with the school district and start a behavior modification program along with any other services your child may need. If that doesn't work, then you may want to consider medication. Remember that if you do start medication, many of the meds will allow you to stop at any time. Some will need to be tapered down.
Good luck