Time to start being parents | ADHD Information
and stop using ADD/ADHD as some excuse for your childs short comming, and stop using mediciation to "cure" them of lazyness. That is what punishment is for. Children are becoming more and more lazy, and parents and doctors are letting them get away with this by giving it a name like it is a disability.if you're gonna talk like that then the only place you can do that is debatewhether to use medication. there is no need to insult anyone or their
parenting skills! Parents dont use add as an excuse! It is a REAL
problem!
Alright. Good point. i already reported him.[QUOTE=ADDIZFAKE]
I am trying to help you be better parents. Your kids are lazy, you need to correct this with discipline not drugs.
[/QUOTE]
how do you plan on helping? do you really think this place is full of uneducated parents that have not tried EVERY THING else first? If so, I feel for you. Are you a parent?
Didn't you know there's a myth to laziness? Mel Levine even wrote a book about it. I suggest you go and check it out.[QUOTE=ADDIZFAKE]and stop using ADD/ADHD as some excuse for your childs short comming, and stop using mediciation to "cure" them of lazyness. That is what punishment is for. Children are becoming more and more lazy, and parents and doctors are letting them get away with this by giving it a name like it is a disability.[/QUOTE]
Just another jerk getting paid to do some one else's dirty work. Let us know how many posts you have to ping so you can get your pay and go on about your business..... It's old and we all know the drill. 
I am not a spell check queen, but if you have the nerve to come on here and show how little you know about adhd, you should at least spell check. Otherwise you just look uneducated, which is a dead give away that you are just here for money.
[QUOTE=INaBOX]meh .. he was bored and angry. lol[/QUOTE]
his mommy probably forgot to give him his meds today.
I am trying to help you be better parents. Your kids are lazy, you need to correct this with discipline not drugs.
Hum is this an example of stupidity? Why yes.. it is!!! Thanks candyhound for reporting!!!
Another troll to stir things up! Thanks for reporting!
Maximillian I agree that many kids are lazier these days and undisciplined. We also have this problem in europe.But I know of so many examples where I have seen kids come out of very strict homes and where they were spanked. They are practically monsters. Hitting is not the answer !
Now this is LAZY PARENTING. It's the easy way out for parents.
These kids are often well behaved in front of their parents and vent their anger out behind their backs in many forms.
It gives these kids a sense of control in their minds.
They are often the school bullies but fear their parents.
Yeah I will teach you not to hit by hitting you ?
The swat on the bum for a 2 yr. old I can understand if they are too young to understand a threat or such. Like running into the street.
By spanking you are not teaching any social skills nor how to solve a conflict without violence.
I believe in being fairly strict,consistent and sticking to your word with an added huge dose of love, understanding and kindness.
You have to raise the child so that they want to be well behaved and happy. Not to do something just because they fear you. If they do something good because they want to, then you did a great job of being a parent.
I am also aware that each child is different in character.
I believe the problem is not the "not spanking". I think it is much more complex than that. I suspect it's caused by over-stressed parents (there is more stress in this day and age) ,sometimes one parent households, self-absorbed parents, european hippy lassez faire discipline ( I don't know if this is common in the States),more drug and alcohol use by parents (causes neglect), also families have gotten smaller. Usually in the past there were older siblings to help out and steer the kids like a parent role. Less moral values. Less spiritual guidance (a sense of god gave hope and strength through trying times)
Today a sense of hopelessness and disillusion prevail. Too much materialism and shallow values are pounded in their heads through the media.
This can give them a feeling they are never good enough and they may give up.
worldisround38975.4890856482There is no way to convince someone like you that ADD is real I don't suppose, but I am curious what would cause a person who didn't even think it was a real disorder to bother going on a site that is essensially a supprt group for people dealing with these difficult issues? You are very angry obviously. Are you by any chance a scientologist?
Anyway, I have 4
children and I have ADD, and 3 of my children do as well,
well one has severe ADHD. I can tell you that we are strict about
consequences for you actions and discipline, and not using ADD as an
excuse. It is something you are responsible for dealing with. If you
have ADD/ADHD you have to find the things that work for you and the
things that don't. If you were blind you would not pretend you
weren't blind, but you would not be able to sit around feeling sorry
for yourself and use it as an excuse not to do things or not to behave
well. You get the assistance you need and learn all you can and work to
the best of your ability to have a good productive life. You have
limitations, and you can't change that, you work with it, use your
gifts and talents and compensate for the rest. I would no more let my
ADD child use his disability as an excuse or crutch than I would a
blind child. But I certainly wouldn't ignore the problem and leave them
to flounder while I ignorantly punished them for behaviors they cannot
help. I am not saying they have no self-control, but they need tools to
deal with what goes on intheir mind and body 24/7. If you don't give
them the tools then they can't help it. What about dyslexia, do you
think that is real? Maybe they are just lazy kids who don't want or
like to read hmm? No, expecting a dyslexic child to read without giving
him or her the training and help to deal with dyslexia would be cruel
and ignorant behavior, and expecting an ADD child to behave as if they
didn't have ADD is also cruel and ignorant. You cannot beat ADD out of
a child. Spanking as a punishment is completely up to the parent,
discipline is an absolute must, but how they discipline is up to the
individual, and most kids I've seen that get spanked for frequent
outbursts or not paying attention or whatever, get angry and feel
helpless, it doesn't generally help in the long run even if the short
term result ends up as you want it, and that's a big if. ADD kids can
very easily ge into a negative downward spiral because they get in
trouble so frequently, they need more even more than most people to be
shown that they are loved and you are proud of the work they do. If
they only get negative attention, wel that is the same for anyone ADD
or not, it usually ends up very badly. I want to empower my
children, let them know they have the ability, and show them as many
ways as we can come up with (and that's a lot in this house) to deal
with their everyday lives and come out happy and not drive everyone
else crazy while they are at it.
ADD
kids or adults may have to work harder at behaving in a certain way,
but it is not impossible, and they should get the help they need, and
be held accountable for their behavior. Parents deperately trying to
help their children are appreciative I'm sure of your concern for their
children's well being. I would imagine you were spanked or beaten
as a child. You have a rare gift of concern for other human beings and
their feelings I see., which has no doubt been beaten into your
head from a very early age. You don't appear to think much of people,
and putting others down to make yourself feel better is a clasic
bullying technique, I suspect you are not very fond of yourself. I
don't know if you have any children, or if you have any "supposed" ADD
in your family, but I would hope you think long and hard about what
kind of person you want your child(if you have one) to be, and how you
would like them to feel about themselves and the world around them.
Spanking can be used as a discipline tool, certainly has been for years
as you point out, if accompanied by reason and love and not used
excessively or in anger. Some people disagree with spanking and some
don't. I am not trying to say either way. I am however saying that if
you think all ADD kids are not spanked, you are living in denial, and
if you think it is going to magically solve the problems that go along
with ADD you need to take another look. If you did a survey of ADD
children who were spanked vs. those that are not, I do not for one
minute think you would find the spanked group to be better behaved. The
difference in fact comes from parental concern and involvement in their
childs life. I feel very sorry for you.
Hey yo A*sizfake,That's exactly what we are instructed to do . We are supposed to be strict and stick to the consequenses of our children's actions when our ADD kids mess up . With them more than ever !
We have to be more strict than others !!
What are we supposed to do ? Beat them bloody ?
Is this what you are insinuating ?
What kind of discipline are you
talking about ?
My father was probably one of the strictest parents on this planet. I still have ADHD !!
Go back and try reading a book about the subject while you are getting your diapers changed again and tell mom or pops to wipe in between the cracks of your head while they are at it, cause it's so full of s*it that I can smell it through the computer.
And pop a couple Ritalins while mama's at it , maybe you'll get smarter !!
Gosh in some weird way I feel sorry for you because you are soooo naiveconfused ?
I hate being mean but your'e bringing out the worst in me !
I feel like you are not even asking a question or stating a viewpoint.
Is this what your parents are telling you or are leading you to believe ?
If they are get some books on the subject-pro & contra.
You do not even debate or back up your assumptions with anything.
This makes you
1: look like an idiot
2: you just want to anger and provoke us wich means
3: you are extremely BORED or
4: extremely angry
You are hiding. Closet skeptic ?
I am suspecting that you are just a kid
. Please state your age and maybe Iwe will be more understanding of your doubts and statements.
This way we know what we are dealing with.
Why the secrecy ?
We are here to answer and help. We are not the enemy.
worldisround38975.3974189815Gee, we've not had a troll for awhile. They must have shaken out the cobwebs! Actually, I find it very entertaining. Those of us who know our children and know what they go through don't pay any attention anyway. What a DOLT!!i dont think
ADDIZFAKE knows what hes talkin about cuz my kid aint lazy hes far from that.
Maximillian wrote:
Years ago there was no such thing as adhd, if you didn't sit still and pay attention the teacher would paddle you. There were no problems then, everyone sat and listened in school, period.
Maybe you should brush up on your research skills as ignorance is not always bliss.
1902 - Dr. Still, a British doctor, documented cases involving impulsiveness. He called it "Defect of Moral Control." He did believe, however, that this was a medical diagnosis, rather than a spiritual one.
1922 - Symptoms now associated with ADHD were documented and given a diagnosis of "Post-Encephalitic Behavior Disorder."
1937 - Dr. Charles Bradley introduced the use of stimulants to treat hyperactive children.
1956 - Ritalin was first introduced as a treatment for hyperactive children.
1960s - Stimulant medication became more widely used. The main symptom would have been hyperactivity and this is the only symptom that was usually treated. The name "Minimal Brain Dysfunction" was used in the early 1960s and was changed in the late 60s to "Hyperkinetic Disorder of Childhood."
1970s - Additional symptoms such as lack of focus and daydreaming were associated with impulsiveness. Impulsiveness was expanded to include verbal impulsiveness, cognitive impulsiveness and motor impulsiveness.
1980 - The current name "Attention Deficit Disorder +/-" was given in the DSM III by the American Psychiatric Association. ADHD and ADD were separate diagnosis.
1987 - The APA renamed the disorder Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and noted it was a medical diagnosis that could cause behavioral problems. They noted these behavioral problems to be different than those caused by emotional turmoil, such as divorce or moving to a new area.
1996 - The second medication, Adderall was approved by the FDA for treatment of ADHD.
1998 - The American Medical Associated stated that ADHD was one of the best researched disorders.
1999-present - Several additional medications, such as Concerta, Focalin and Strattera have been approved for the treatment of ADHD.
Gosh worldisround, I agree with most everything you said! Especially the part about a lazy parent is the one who spanks. 
And the part that there may be unusual circumstances like you said, Worldisround, where the child is in danger that a swat (or even spanking -my words not yours) may be in order.
Thanks Stepmom02 for posting that. I don't understand why people can't use common sense. We are only hearing so much about ADHD because they are finding more medicines that help (and of course you get the anti-med people that brings it to the media's attention) AND our understanding of ADHD has progressed more in the last 10 years then in all the years since it was first described in 1902 so naturally we are hearing this too. It isn't that there are more people with ADHD, there are just finding it easier to DX.
Not only that, BUT, if you look back in history only the child that was identified was the disruptive child and not the "innatentive" child. Now we know that 70% of the people are in fact ADD - no hyperactivity - but have Attention Deficit.
And lets don't forget the kids/adults many years ago that were probably just thrown in a mental institution when all they had was ADHD.
my previous post was directed to ADDIZFAKEMaximillian, what on earth makes you think that ADD children are lazy? I do not understand the correlation. My children are very hard workers, but them aside, laziness is one thing that is absolutely not a trait of the ADD person. Then tend to work harder and longer and hyper focus on things they like, and not having the ability to focus on things all the time does not make you lazy. Distractable, even misbehaving, whatever you want to call it, lazy doesn't fit, and medication doesn't make a person suddenly not be lazy, or suddenly become lazy. Of course we make our children do things, how could we not. As for medication, it is a god send for some and innapropriate for others, that is a descision to be made between a parent and the doctor. You are down on therapy too? A lot of people get therapy, for many different reasons, I am hard pressed to see how that is negatively affecting our society. Are you against all medications? What if you were to get diabetes? Would you treat it with drugs? Or would you say that was weak and it was because you were lazy and a glutton? I wish I were surprised that a person could be so self righteous and yet so uninformed, but unfortunately I am not. Good luck to you when you meet your maker.
It's amazing to me where society has gone today. With the way America is heading as far as being one of the most overweight and laziest nations. Our children are heading to be the most overweight and lazy children of all the nations in the world. Now instead of being parents we run to doctors and others to cure the problems with our kids that we can't or don't want to or don't know how to handle.
Years ago there was no such thing as adhd, if you didn't sit still and pay attention the teacher would paddle you. There were no problems then, everyone sat and listened in school, period.
The same thing at home, if you did wrong you were punushed. It use to be spanking. That cured a lot of kids form doing things wrong. Yes I said CURED.
Now we have parents that have taken away the rights of the shcools to spank, they themselves don't spank and we have disfuctionality. Can anyone see why?
When a child is young lets say 3 to 4 years old and the parent says something should the child question it or without question do it? It was expalined to me years ago in a way that made sense. "If you are watching your child play ball outside. The ball goes bouncing away the child runs after it. You being taller can see over the cars and you see the truck heading in the direction of the child. The child cannot see because he or she is smaller and can't see over the cars. When you yell stop, should the child keep running after the ball while asking why? "
This is not anything more than a example of many of life's challenges a child must go through. We as parents are suppose to help our children develop in adults that work together in a society. We as parents at times MUST make our child do things beacuse we have learned from our mistakes and do not want them to make the same.
Finding solutions to a childs problem through drugs and therapy only shows weak parenting. Buck up and learn to become the parent that your child needs.
i love parenting advice from ignorant people,it makes me laugh and at the same time i feel pity for somebody like that who cannot see past their tiny beliefs.
i had a very tight upbringing,my father was a military man and also a violent man so i did not miss in the paddling departement.far from it,i also was in a catholic school ran by nuns and priests,i let you draw your own conclusion on how that was.
i have 8 A levels and speak 3 languages so i am not stupid or lazy and you know what i also have ADD ,my parents never went the drug or therapy route,and it showed what,that they were strong?no it showed that they were ignorants and what does all the therapy,drugs,doctors,homeopathy ect....we are all doing show?that we are caring and open minded parents that will do anything to give our kids a better life even something we don't like.
i hope to god that you do not have any children as in my views people that ignorant and intolerant should not be allowed to have kids,if you do have kids,i really pity them .
Max, what a tool.
I pulled my son out of school and homeschooled him for four months because I thought that they just didn't know how to discipline him at school. I witnessed for my self my son's inability to stay focussed on his tasks. He wants to make me happy and he's certainly smart enough, he just can't stay on task. Do stop spouting such nonsense on a site like this. If you have simple parenting advice to give, go to a parenting skills web site and tell them all about how lazy their children are. Get a clue.
[QUOTE=Maximillian]I am glad to see some intellectual conversation instead of the previous to my first post. Let me make this perfectly clear I never have said spanking is the only answer. A good parent should have many avenues available to them. Talking and discussing what is right and wrong and reinforcing it by showing the child that’s how we live are very important. We take a baby whatever comes and we MUST make this child a working part of society. What I said was parents need to instill that fear of god into their children.
How do you do that? You can't put the fear of God into a child who can't focus anymore than you can put the fear of God into a diebetic whose high blood pressure is soaring. If you can, then that child doesn't have ADHD.
We do own them
No, you don't own them you owe them.
and are responsible and will pay for their mistakes until they become adults and are a working part of society. We need to be the ones responsible for raising them and teaching them and showing them the ways of the world. I know that everyone is their own person, everyone needs there own way. With life though especially when our babies move out into the real world, do we want them to be eaten up by those that would manipulate for self gain? Of course not we want our children to be able to recognize handle adapt and overcome. We want our children to be the better. We want them to achieve goals we didn't without it having a cost of pain to others. Are those that can’t even learn to adapt as children going to be able to go out and handle the world? If so how well? Should we really allow them ease of finding an excuse?
Finding an excuse? Don't you read these boards? Most of the adults here were raised much like you suggest. The result, they were never good enough, they felt stupid, like failures.