Hi there. I'm a single mom of 4 kids. My 2nd child (who is my oldest son) was diagnosed with ADHD last year. He is 7 1/2. He takes Concerta and it really does help him alot. But sometimes, like today, he refused to take it or he will pretend he took and drops it on the floor or says "I forgot.."
School started this week and so I am sure that this is some of my battle but it has really worn me down. Every night this week, he has been up until at least 11 if not later, 11 is just when I give up and go to bed. And then he is a bear to wake up in the morning and gets real uncooperative. I think if he could wake up better in the morning, he would be less oppositional but he is so groggy and then everything becomes a power struggle.
Today was just the straw that broke the camels back. I had a complete meltdown. I tried to get him to take his pill and he refused. He screamed at me, cried, just set his jaw all stiff. So I sent him out the door without it and wished him an awful day. I can't believe I told him to have a lousy day. I'm ashamed of myself. I just feel so powerless and out of control. I want him to do well and I know that his medication will do that.
I don't know anymore what to do to get him to fall asleep earlier. I give him melatonin to help. It doesnt' seem to make a difference. He just finds excuse after excuse to come out of bed. He shares a room with his two other brothers and that is part of the problem. If he could read for a while and then mellow himself down he would probably be fine. but his younger brothers will get all wound up and then he gets wound up. By the time 11pm rollls around, I am so beaten down adn exhausted that I just quit trying.
Well, that's my story right now. thanks for reading.
when my son would refuse hid meds i would go into the school nurse and have her give it to him. he did take an afternoon dose if your son does that she can give it to him.
My son is almost 12 years old, and I have been having these battles since he was 2 years old, although he didn't go on medication until he was 5. I STILL have to physically put his medication into his mouth, then I make him open his mouth so I can see that he swallowed it. It is very exhausting, and it is hard not to just throw in the towel, but I know that I am absolutely all that he has and his only chance, and I cannot give up on him. I am also very honest with him. If I am too angry to even look at him, I tell him that I am angry and that I need time to gather myself. I also pray to God every night that I make it through each day, and I ask Him to give me the patience that I need not to pinch his little head off!
You guys should read Ograms Marble system. You could give marbles for taking meds with a good attitude. I think the honesty route can work with ADHD kids. I have run into resistance too and I tell my son the truth. I wish you did not have to take these pills too. I want you to have a good day in school, you are so proud when you finish everything and get good behavior grades. Here are you pills (he takes lots of suppliments too) you decide, good day? Bad day. Disconnect! Just busy your self around the kitchen or go sit with the paper and coffee. If he does not take the pill when he comes home take the consultant approach. Bad day huh? Oh man! it must be hard to be you today. I had a hard day too. Tomorrow I will not schedule so much. What are you going to do?
This sort of sympathetic consultant approach works so much better than "Well I told you to take your pill!"
I think the kids all refuse meds at a certain age. You can't force them eventually.
Gosh I hope all kids don't do this eventually!! My son really wants to take his, he remembers how he felt before he had them, and doesn't want to go back.
But I l like BL Moretti's suggestions and will definately employ them if and when the time comes....
[QUOTE=cooltulip4]Today was just the straw that broke the camels back. I had a complete meltdown. I tried to get him to take his pill and he refused. He screamed at me, cried, just set his jaw all stiff. So I sent him out the door without it and wished him an awful day. I can't believe I told him to have a lousy day. I'm ashamed of myself. I just feel so powerless and out of control. I want him to do well and I know that his medication will do that.
[/QUOTE]
Don't be too hard on yourself. The dynamics of the condition are that at times he's going to provoke you at all costs to get you to lose your cool. That way, you end up looking like the fool and now he has someone to blame for everything ("look how terrible YOU are"); focus is off him. It is subconscious, but it's really quite diabolical.
It only gets worse as they get older. My son is 15. We play the same "game" but I'm getting better at not getting roped in. GlenW absolutely right. You have to stay as dispassionate and appear as uninvolved as possible, even as they are pushing every one of your buttons and looking quite unhappy. It's counterintuitive. Most "normal" kids would be warmed by the fact that you care enough about them to put forth some effort, but for some reason, those with adhd can turn just about anything good into a negative.
I know you are a single mom, but is dad still involved? Or another family member? It might just be easier to just simply offload this task/issue onto someone neutral or more powerful/influential (a male).
See here as well. The conversation here b/w mom & son...I have lived this. BTW, this methid really works. My son & I have been talking this way now for a month or so and it's helping.
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