JUST WONDERING | ADHD Information

Rather than relying on parents to diagnose, it's best to take him to a NeuroPsych for an evaluation. They are thorough professionals who do lots of performance testing, and they look at everything. ADHD behavior is common in ADHD and other disorders. A NeuroPsych will deligenetly test for ADHD and beyond. Nobody here can really give you an answer with any accuracy. Pediatricians and regular talk therapists aren't very good at diagnosing. They tend to do quick diagnoses rather than try to gather the entire picture. You can find NeuroPsychs at Children's or University hospitals. Good luck!Hi. I was wondering about some things, so thought maybe someone here could enlighten me a bit.  {HOPEFULLY}
I have a healthy, intellegent 4 year old son. I have waited a very long time to have him & often thought I wouldn't/couldn't have children. So needless to say, he is truly a gift from God & I am the first to admit, he is a little spoiled brat!  He enjoys doing 4 year old stuff, going to the park, throwing a ball, playing games, Power Rangers.
Ever since he is an infant he has been "Strong Willed". When he attended daycare, the girls working there, often referred to him & his little buddies as "All Boy".
He always wants his way. Has a little fit if he is told No. When I tell him to do something, I mine as well be talking to the wall {usually, not always}. He doesn't like to stay in his seat. He seems to appear like a verbal reprimand has sunk in, however two minutes later, he is back doing what he got in trouble for originally. Bedtime, takes a few tries going back to bed. He talks back {no curse words, just typical talk back...No, I don't wanna, Can't catch me, etc.}. He sometimes gets in trouble for hitting, especially when he doesn't get his way.  He is constantly on the go, running, jumping on things. Gets fustrated/angry when you don't know what he wants, etc.  He also has a very slight speech problem. Certain letters for other letters, he is very understandable tho.
Well now that he is 4, he started Pre-K in August {We live in Florida & school started August 7th}. He has his good days & bad days, as do all of us.  However, like I mentioned, he doesn't stay in his seat. He runs away from the teacher, gym coach, etc. If he is put in time out, he doesn't stay there. And as of yesterday, he threw mulch on the play ground.
At times, he brings me to tears. Spankings "DO NOT" work {He has a very hard little butt}, going to your room & get punished, well that he doesn't like, but then again all his toys are there, his bed, his TV, etc....but that doesn't work either.
I dread going to pick him up at school, just fearing what the latest teacher report will be.  I don't know what to do with him.
His father, whom we live with, says "Oh he is bad, but he is just a normal kid"
Every other weekend, his 3 kids, from a  prior marriage come over. And they are what would you call it...Hmmmmm, "ANIMALS"! No respect, No disapline, They Yell, scream, kick, cry & whine at everything you ask/tell them. They are 12,10 & 9 there is no reason for it. And when they are here, MY sons behavior only intensifies because he sees them doing it as well.
OK, well basicly my question is after rambling on is.....Do you think I should have my son evaluated for ADHD? If it came down to medication to calm/relax him, I don't want his on doses so he seems comatosed, I don't want him numb 24/7.
I am sorry if I seem ignorant about the disorder, but I truly know nothing about it & want to learn if in deed this is what I am facing.
Thanx, Gloria

Some of this sounds like ADHD 4 yo behavior to me. But there's a mix of what might just be behavior issues? Perhaps he needs you to take a different approach? I would try that first. Check the Marble System thread like susieb said.

I would recommend holding off on an evaluation until you son is closer to entering kindergarten. There are logical reasons that some peds don't evaluate until age 6. For one it can possibly be a maturity issue, and some things can just resolve. There is very minimal testing that can be done on children 6 and under. It is hard to get an accurate dx at such a young age. You can wind up with an incorrect or an incomplete dx more easily. Neuro psyche evaluations are VERY expensive (mine was 00 and they are generally not covered by insurance and if they do, will they really do another eval in a couple of years when you really need it?).  If there is some co-morbid condition, you don't want to evaluate at this stage IMHO, because you'll be doing it again in a few years. Also, the docs can give recommendations for classroom management, and homework issues. You really are not going to get anything pertinent this early in the game. The report will be more valuable if you wait. And maybe you'll get some or all of this resolved before then.

I'm going to be really frank.  It sounds like he runs the house.  Spoiling an ADHD (or any) child isn't a good idea.  He's old enough to understand that you are the parent and therefore in control and he is the kid.  I'll bump the marble thread for you.  It explains a system of training/discipline that works with a lot of ADHD kids.  I really question whether he's ADHD at all.  From what you've said, I think he's just spoiled.  Pills aren't going to make him obedient, discipline is.  If he's allowed to go on like this, he'll have problems keeping friends and he will probably turn from being a very unhappy child into a very unhappy adult.  Getting this under control will be hard work and take awhile.  JMHO hello and welcome.... i to have a 4 yr old child that i thought i would never have... infact your story sounds alot like mine... my sons behavior is alot like your sons.. maybe alittle worse... my son is angry ALOT... but my son seems to hold some of his behavior in at school. have you mention your concerns with this ped doctor? does ADHD or mental illness run in your family? i had to laugh when you mentioned spanking not working... sorry but spanking doesn't work on dillon either.... if anything it only makes him mad and he ends up hitting us... timeout doesn't work,taking toys away doesn't work,nothing seem to work... dillon has a therapist that comes to the house 2 days a week. and he is on medication... but then again my son is bipolar... i wish you luck ... Thank you for all your input. All info is welcome & appriciated.