ADHD ignored-now in jail | ADHD Information

ssmustang,

One thing about being in jail, I suppose, is that it certainly gives him an opportunity to be introspective!  It also gives him lots of time to read!  Are you by any chance sending him lots of books and articles about ADHD?  Even if they are not able to give him meds or therapy in jail, he can get alot of theraputic value from reading about ADHD, and perhaps learn about himself and start to develop his own coping mechanisms.  By providing the reading materials, you can help him to help himself.   

aiyah!!

its like we're all singing the funeral dirge and giving this lady no hope whatsoever. 

how long does he have to spend in jail? and are we talking some penitentary or a milder situation?

of course meds won't 'cure' him of his violent tendencies. but they have one thing right! he could of been taking meds and more importantly counseling about his adhd and myriad other behavior problems etc..

you cannot do anything to change his sentence i would presume , as if you can barely stir up the sympathies of this random sample, all of which have adhd themselves, you have very little hope of getting any from a judge..but you should try i think..(ok guys of the message board..i know that you all are just trying to be realistic, i'm not saying you don't have hearts)

but guess what? when he gets out...he CAN TRY TO DO SOMETHING FOR HIMSELF.

isn't that a great thing to think about? shouldnt that be a light at the end of the tunnel? will he learn his lesson about consequences?

he is young, and that isn't to be disparaged as something that renders this situation more tragic b/c he does have the rest of his life to figure this out and at least take perspective rather than having battered himself for fifty years against the wall to no avail..

so be hopeful , dear, b/c he has better chances than you might think, if he is an introspective fellow...

and as for you being a fixer or a codependant or  a door mat..i couldn't answer to that.  you may just love a troubled man and be healthy emotionally.  or you might have your own issues with the guilt that he made his mistake committing violence on you and that is why he is in jail.  guilt is a tricky thing, so is sympathy.  i do know that feeling so well.  my father abused me and i turned him in when i was 13.  he went to fort leavenworth for almost seven years.  have you ever heard of fort leavenworth? its one of the worst prisons, and when you're in the military, which my father was, you get the book thrown at you for so much as spitting on the street...when he got out he was degenerated, a pitiful sight, such a sight as to knock out the wind of this girl..and the whole time he was in jail and even up to this day i am haunted by his choices..his dilemma...his actions that have caused me the gut splitting guilt that only the abused can.

but i know that its not my fault.

my father was diagnosed with schizophrenia about five years ago and i don't know where he is now. he may be homeless again. and i greive that.  but i cannot do anything for him.  i did my best. 

i'm not trying to deppress you. i'm just trying to make you understand that your guy has and will have a lot of choices and only life can make him understand the import of that. 

thats what life is about

 

sumi

Thank you all for your feedback...positive and negative.  I must say the information I am gathering on ADHD is absolutely overwhelming. 

Honestly, it is confusing and surprising to me the harshness of some of the replies.  I know that domestic violence is not a symptom of ADHD, but what about the anger rages and explosive behaviors that I have been reading about?  I am really not looking for an excuse for him, I just trying to find out what the heck is going on in his head. 

My rationalization is coming from the information that when he stopped taking his medication, he started having major problems and  from articles on the web addressing his particular situation.  I'm hearing...yes for sure it is adhd...medication would make a dramatic difference to...he's a loser run as fast as you can.  This is very contradicting. 

I pulled up an article written by T. Dwaine McCallon, MD entitled,

"If He Outgrew It, What Is He Doing in My Prison?"  It addresses some stats on ADHD and the prison population.  This gentleman is actually the medical director at a state penitentiary.  He addresses the dramatic results in certain people who take their medication and those who don't.

I also pulled up some info. from Charles K. Kenyon, Assistant State Public Defender in Wisconsin and it addresses some interesting stats (40% of boys with untreated ADHD will be arrested for a felony by the time they are 16).

I am just trying to digest everything I am finding.  Please know that I in no way intend to incenuate that all people with ADHD would be in jail if they didn't take meds.  This is just the area that I am concentrating on.

I did receive some good news today...he is now at a point where he is ready to get help.  But, from what you are telling me, I do not know if they will allow him to receive medication.  What are the new medications that are not stimulants??  Do they actually help?

Sumiah-so sorry to hear that about your dad.  I cannot imagine how difficult that must have been.  I must admit that it scares the hell out of me knowing that he might go to a state prison.  My boyfriend is currently in county jail.  We could possibly bail him out, but we all agree that is where he needs to be (even he agrees to that).  He has been there 2 months.  It will be another 2 months before sentencing.  I know he will have to serve time somewhere, whether it be county jail or state prison.  It could be anywhere from 6 months to 5 years.  He was not convicted of anything last year...they put him on probation.  

Thanks for the little glimmer of hope.  I know that HE will have to take the initiative to help himself.  I am just trying to educate myself as much as possible, as this is all new to me.  I honestly do not know what to do at this point.  It is just a waiting game for me now.  I am REALLY trying hard NOT to be his enabler or to "fix him".  I do love him dearly, but if it doesn't work out I'll know that I did all I could do.

 

I spent .00 on copies at the public library about ADHD.  I cannot give him anything or mail him anything because there is a restraining order (No contact).  The packet was mailed (by a mutual friend) and he never received it.  I am assuming it was opened, read, and trashed.  The information would have been very eye opening for him. 

 

 You might want to check out the website www.prisontalk.com. The owner of the site has ADHD himself. ADHD medication cannot keep anyone out of jail. He still has to take responsibility for his actions. Your sympathy can be spent on a better man.

No sorry I really have not looked into these subtypes, and I doubt they are true ADHD, but what we call commorbities, such as bi polar and ODD.

And personally, I could not stand being around explosive people, my hubby looses it emotionally some times and explodes and I hate it, makes me feel really angry - I find it hard to calm down and be supportive because loud angry men just make me want to run for the hills. 

ssmustang: you dearly love a boyfriend who is in jail
for domestic violence. I fear for you. I believe it would
be better for you to drop him and find a nonviolent boyfriend. I hope you won't have children together or
anything commitment-like.

It may also be better for him if you drop him! You say you don't want to be
his enabler. I think the best way to not be his enabler is
to move away and forget about him. Then he may get the
message that he can't treat people like that. Then he may learn.

If you hang around and keep loving him, that tells him he can do whatever it was
he did and still get away with it in some sense.

I'm afraid he may take meds for a while (couple of years even) and act relatively good and you may get attached to him -- married, children, more deeply in love, whatever -- and then he may decide to quit taking meds, or he may decide to get
violent even though he's on meds, or whatever. And you'll be in big trouble.

I think it may be better both for you and for him if you go away and forget about him.

There are no medications that turn a violent person into a nonviolent person.
It takes responsibility to do that. Meds may reduce the
tendency to get violent, but everybody gets angry sometimes (unless they're so drugged they're complete zombies), and everybody faces decisions as to whether to express
their anger with violence or aggression, or in more positive ways.

Books that might help you:

"The Dance of Anger" by Harriet Lerner
"Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of
Angry and Controlling Men" (or something title like that)

Once when I was in love with someone and wanted to
stop being in love, a friend advised me to eat a lot
of chocolate and go somewhere where I could be alone
and think for a while. Chocolate contains a substance
that is the same as what the body makes when we're in
love, apparently. So being addicted to being in love
can be similar to being addicted to chocolate.
Anyway, it worked for me (even though, or perhaps because, chocolate gives me migraines -- or maybe
just because I was doing something purposefully to
step away from the attachment.)

Have you thought much lately about long-term plans for
your own life?

Thanks for the concern.  I really appreciate your thoughts and can feel the desperation in your words.  Believe me, I have heard all the lectures about domestic violence.  That too is new to me and I am trying to understand it.

As for long term goals, fortunately I am college educated, own my own company, am very independent, and have children of my own already.  I am not in a situation where I have to depend upon him for my livelihood.

Like I said this whole situation is completely new to me (jail, domestic violence, ADHD).  I like to collect all the information I possibly can before I make a  decision.

I am curious if anybody has read any info. for the subtypes of ADHD, i.e. Subtype 6 explosive subtype.  Most of you on this forum seem to be nowhere near having this type of ADHD.

Thanks again for your input.

ssmustang, I can assure you the information you got on ADHD is incorrect, or at least, unfounded. There is no medical or psychological proof that ADHD causes someone to commit a crime. There is also no persisting proof that most of our prisoners have ADHD. One doctor's opinion, who may or may not be able to properly determine, distinguish or diagnose ADHD, does not make it fact. Defense attorneys have, throughout history, used circumstantial evidence to win a trial. What you have from the defense attorney is no different. I have been diagnosed as ADHD, I'm unmedicated and I've NEVER committed a crime. And quite frankly, I'm offended that people assume this about the disorder.

I've also never had violent or aggressive rages. Please consider this. I'm sure many people on this board are just like me and I promise you that you are being misled with wrong information.

cheekydeeky38267.7980208333Personally, with moral guidance and Parental example and understanding.  Most people with ADHD in jail, probably wouldnt be in jail.  Do these so called statistics of ADHD people in jail refer to all types of families.  Or are they mostly ADHD and in socially bad situations whilst growing up.samustang: I don't remember type 6 explosive; not sure
if I've heard of it; but the book "Healing ADD" by
Daniel Amen has subtypes based on what part of the brain has
been injured or is not functioning properly.

He makes the point that a large percentage of ADD is related
to head injuries. He noticed a lot of his patients had
scars on their faces; others remember having had some
severe head injury in childhood.

I have two scars on my face from childhood injuries.

Anyway, he has questinnaires in his book to help figure
out which of his subtypes a person is, based on their
behaviour; and then he has specific advice for each
subtype: which drugs to try, and which non-drug alternative treatments are likely to be effective for that subtype.

I think it's a good book and could save a lot of time
trying out different treatments.

When I did it, I found that I was already using the
alternative treatments he recommended for my subtype!

Re reducing recidivism: I read a study where prisoners were
given vitamins and compared to a control group.
Behaviour within the prison was significantly better in the group taking
vitamins; and many of them asked for a supply so they
could continue the vitamins after the study was over.
Vitamins, especially vitamin C, are needed for proper brain function. B-complex vitamins too. and omeega-3. There are at least 6 types of ADD.   Read the book "Healing ADD" by the specialist Dr. Amen... your boyfriend, ssmustang, may have other symptoms of the "ring of fire" type of ADD.  Violence is one of them.  I don't know -- only he and a good doctor can find that out. 

Read the book if you want insight about the many forms of ADD.  Just because your boyfriend's symptoms are different than others with ADD, doesn't mean he doesn't have ADD or that it doesn't contribute to his recent behavior troubles.

But, now that I've stated that.... even if he has ADD and the violent sort at that, violence destroys in the end.  He has to want to help himself and take the medical treatment necessary to combat his problems, whatever they may be as deemed necessary by a qualified professional.

Guard yourself carefully... domestic violence is a tricky situation and one in which the abuse tends to continue or get worse regardless of promises to the contrary.












Wanderinghero38268.6846412037>>>>Per one study by T. Dwaine McCallon, M.D., Medical Director of Buena Vista Correctional Facility, Asst. Chief Medical Officer, Colorado Dept. of Corrections, 40 percent of residents in a medium security prison were diagnosable as AD/HD. This equates to over 600,000 prisoners in the United States. When the identified AD/HD group in this one prison were released and given a 30-day supply of medication, links to support groups, counselors and physicians, there was only a 10 percent recidivism rate, compared to a 53 to 58 percent nationwide rate of recidivism.<<<<<

To the best of my knowledge, ADD does not cause violence.

Your boyfriend may well have ADD, but he certainly has some other issues as well.

It may be possible that untreated ADD can land someone in jail. I think ADD makes it difficult for some people to hold jobs and many people with undiagnosed/untreated ADD self-medicate and can end up in jail on drug-related charges. 

But the inability to focus, pay attention, stay on task, sit still, etc. due to an imbalance of neurotransmitters does not make people violent. 

 

Might want to check out the new book ADHD and Criminal Justice System

www.addcorridorcoaching.com/book.asp

ssmustang,

      I know this isn't the reply you want but I have to ask. What make you believe medication will change him? I've had ADHD all of my life without medication till I was in my late 20's the medication I take does help me concentrate, But I was and still are accountable for my actions. I do believe it's horrible that he was diagnosed and nothing done about it. I would tell him not to give up. Sometimes you've got to demand something be done, be persistent! My heart goes out to you Good Luck!

I am hoping someone here can shed some light on my situation and give me some kind of direction.

My boyfriend is currently in jail.  Never thought I would ever be writing something addressing this issue.  He was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in the second grade.  He took Retalyn and Adderall for about 9 years.  He started self-medicating himself at about 15 with marijuana and that lasted a couple of years. (I did not know him then).  His mom had told me stories of how when he took his medication that he was such a nice person and she could actually carry on a decent conversation with him without him getting angry.  She did not know he was smoking marijuana.  Since he was 18 (he is now 19 will be 20 in Jan.) he has not abused drugs.

He has refused to take any kind of medication for ADHD since he was 17 1/2, mostly because his father believes that ADHD is a myth and does not exist.  His father is a very successful businessman and his opinion is much respected.  He has given his son the notion that if he takes medication that he is crazy.

He was arrested last August a year ago for domestic violence.  He was put on probation for 2 years.  I brought up to his counselors that he was diagnosed with ADHD, but it was ignored.  He was given mental evaluation in January.  He also brought up that he had ADHD, but nothing ever came of it.  He was not recommended to see a doctor for this.  His mother wrote an 8 page letter to the judge about his history with ADD and ADHD.  His file from school must be about 3 -4 inches thick.  It was ignored.

I must say that I have been ignorant of his ADHD.  I feel as though I have failed him and cannot help him.  When he was arrested, a restraining order was automatically put against him.  I have tried continuously to have it lifted, but to not avail.  Needless to say, this has made it very difficult for me to help him.

He is now in jail again for violation of the restraining order.  His impulsive behavior has again cheated him.  He is asking for help, as am I, but it seems to be falling on deaf ears.

He is so intelligent and has such great potential that it just kills me that he is in jail.  This is just not the future that I saw for him.  He tries so hard to control his actions, but he just can't do it.

It is black and white to me that he has ADHD.  I do not understand why it has not been addressed.  He is so young and I truly believe that if he had been on some type of medication that he would not be in this predicament.

I have spoken to his probation department and they have recommended that I write a letter to the judge addressing his ADHD again.  I am in the process of doing that.

His family has practically abandoned him.  His father will not accept that his son needs help.  His mom has been on medication for about 10 years for depression and is trying to help him, but has not been productive.

He is losing hope in himself.  I know he can turn this around, but its going to be a long road.  I have desperately tried to instill in him that we are all different and that doesn't make him any less of a person. 

What can he do to get a proper diagnosis considering he is now in jail?  Will his diagnosis as a child be enough to enable a prescription? What rights does he have, if any? 

Thank you for your help.

 

 

Tamaraw1969-

I honestly do not know if medication will change him.  I have been doing countless research the last couple of weeks and God knows I'm  no  doctor, but from what I'm reading I do believe it would be worth a try.

It is my understanding that there are subtypes of ADHD and ADD.  He does fit some of these profiles.  I can look at the characteristics and see that they fit him to a t.  I read them and just cry knowing that he might have been able to have some type of help, but it wasn't sought.

I do agree with you that he has to be accountable for his actions, and believe me, he is going to be.  I in no way meant his ADHD as an excuse for his behavior. 

All I can do is hope that medication will help him. I just cannot give up hope yet knowing that he does have ADHD and it can be treated.

Thanks for your reply!

 

 

That's sad. My ADHD psych. said that something like 70% of the people in jail have ADHD. Don't know where he gets his stats from, but it wouldn't surprise me...undiagnosed/untreated ADHD, that is...especially one who has rage, oppositional defiance, issues with authority, or substance abuse issues.

I know how hard it is to give someone up, even when they have BIG issues.  Sometimes the kindest, most caring thing is not to enable someone by sticking around and being there. Point them toward help and hope they grab the life preserver.

I had a personal experience with this not too long ago. I decided that as long as I was in the picture, he still had the idea that life was a party for him and that his destructive ways are still working and ..."how can you argue with success?" He admitted that his brother is ADHD and they suspected him too, but he never wanted to get a formal diagnosis and have that on his record. In the meantime, he is like watching a speeding car headed right for a cliff. So, I bit the bullet and gave him a speech on ADHD and left him the Driven to Distraction books.

I figured he can take the help (as I did) or he can reject it, but he can never say that he didn't have chances. I had problems too, someone clued me in, I followed the lead. He can do the same thing, and I feel I have done a responsible, compassionate thing without putting myself in danger.

My opinion is based upon I found out just recently at the age of 43 I had this dissorder. I had decisions without meds just like this guy. 

With all due respect, my opinion is you, him and his mother are all using ADD as an excuse. I use the word "excuse" because you seem to think if he takes med's it excuses him to act how he does. ADD meds will not stop him from breaking the law. Meds and his actions should be treated seperatly.

1) He is mature enough to make his decision to not take meds. He is also making the decision to be responsable for any action he conducts. You can't force him to take meds. You said he's smart, then he needs to be smart about managing his anger and taking meds. You also said "His impulsive behavior has again cheated him". I disagree, he has once again cheated him self to act like he is supposed to. You are seperating this "behavior" and "him w/ meds".  He is cheating himself and all his loved ones by acting this way.

2) This grown man should pay his debt to society and take full responsability for his actions or else he will never learn. In fact no leniency and treat him as a second time offender.  No ADD amphetamine meds in jail. If he hit you or another innocent person they should "throw the book at him" and allow him to test his toughness in jail.

3) When he gets out he has two choices once again, be treated for what ever or not be treated and not change.

4) He also has a choice to take anger management classes.

5) He also has a choice to find out if he is Bipolar or what ever and get treated for it.

If I were in your shoes I would not take him back until he did everyone of these steps.

I suspect that everyone is turning their heads because they think the same.

I know my opinion is not popular with you, however it's what I as an objective citizen believe should take place.

WAKI38261.9618981481

I can only assume from your thread that you are the person he perpertrated the domestic violence against.  I can understand your concern and love for this young man, as I have also loved very deeply.  But you are the person who is on this forum and therefore the person I am concerned for. 

Domestic violence is not a symptom of ADHD, and amphetamine based drugs are unlikely to control his violence. 

What  I see you doing is trying to find a reason for why he hurt you.  You are trying to justify still loving him by justifying his bad behaviour, with ADHD. 

How about you, how are you feeling and coping, how do feel about being hurt by someone who is spose to love you.  These are feelings that need to be addressed. 

Is this truely what you want from your life?  Your personality type is a 'fixer', I was like that for a long time too.  Being a fixer, allows us to not look at our own situtions and focus on our own lives and allows us to focus our attention on someone who we consider worse off than ourselves.  (It is huge waste of time), what you need to be focussing on is "Why you are allowing yourself to continue this relationship."  - Let us talk about that!

No body can help your boyfriend, Not you - no one, only himself - and it may take him a long time and bottoming out before he is willing to accept that he needs to find help for himself.  I doubt very much they will allow him the medication for ADHD whilst in jail, as they are very controlled substances.  So this is not an option.

Whilst you are there, he has no reason to change.  He abused you and by staying in his life, you are saying that it is acceptable. 

ADHD is not the cause of your boyfriends violence, perhaps he has other undiagnosed issues, but with an unsupportive, arrogant father as an example, I would not expect him to change too soon.  Why is his mother on medication, could it be because she was also abused by her husband and her son is copying the fathers behaviour.

All suppositions, but concerns that I have for you - I would much rather see you getting on with your own life and making a better choice in a partner next time.  This man is not a good choice for a husband nor father, so therefore why waste your time with him.  It will be nothing but hard work for the rest of your life! 

Think about genetics also, what does this man possible have genetically to hand down to his children.  Sorry for being so cold, but looking for a life long partner, or anyone that is worth that much trouble should pay off.  From what it sounds - you give give give and get smacked around for rewards.

Not fair by my standards and if I am wrong - tell me - bit passionate about this subject for you.