our children | ADHD Information

 the biggest ? i always have for the psychs is what does it take for my son to understand that he shouldnt act the way he does about his behavior because it doesnt seem that talking and explaining the right way to do things work. their answer to me the biggest thing you can do now is what you call repetition.my answer back is thats what us parents do everyday but a child needs to learn and we shouldnt have to repeat ourselves so the count to 2 and then time-out and the repeating it doesnt make sense to me HELP ME UNDERSTAND THIS SOMEONE. this weekend we are gonna start the marble system i sure think he will like thatWell, I'll take a stab at answering your question.  For ADHD kids, it takes a lot more repetition for something to sink in.  So for us parents it takes a lot more patience to keep repeating over and over again to them.  One of our jobs as parents is to discern when a bad behavior is incompetence or deliberate misbehavior.  Punishment for incompetency doesn't work and may lead to rebellion down the line.  I'm sure you have a lot of info from your psychs, but I would suggest picking one or two behaviors to work on.  Don't try to work on everything at once.  Implement a behavior modification program for those few behaviors such as Ogram's marble system that gives positive rewards for desired behavior.  HTHHe needs a reward system -- something to motivate him. Target the top 3 behaviors with the reward system. The Marble System is great. Repetition helps, but not alone. Also, change the way you are doing things. Experiment. If you have morning troubles, read the thread on that for ideas. For example, I give my son a list of things that he needs to do in the morning. The last item on the list is "play a video game, if you have time left." I don't have to say a word, he races through everything to get to that video game -- the reward -- at the end.Repeating things a zillion times does help in the long run. Funny, it never really bothered me that I have to repeat instructions over & over & over to my daughter. I just do it by habit now. I have also hung cute signs around as visual reminders. Theres one by the sink that says "Tiurn off the water:, one by the door that says "close the door", one on the bathroom mirror that says "brush your teeth", etc. I think they help alot! Today the requirements are so high that are kids are feeling more stressed out to perform. The environment is uncleaner/healthier. The streets are more dangerous Which I feel is hurting us all. We all are in bigger hurries now that we don't really get to enjoy life.The school rooms are less multi sensory so teachers have a greater pressure to help the kids pass their state testing and less time to teach the concepts. Usa needs a healthier diet and time to enjoy life. Our kids need a educational system that can cater to each childs individual needs. I am finding haveing materials to buy thru homeschool catologues is helping our son out a lot more than before. I also feel Dr.'s need to give kids a full work before any dx is put on them. Se kids need lots of repetition before it sticks with them which maistream doesn't always give these kids. Our kids ignore the lists. How do you help a kid who does that and doesn't respond to the traditional methods of not doing what is expected of them. We have done all traditional methods. This is for a Non se kid who is a teenager now. Even though we've told our child over and over to do or not do something, they keep doing it.  They think it, then do it.  Have you ever seen your child cover his mouth, or look shocked or surprised that he did what he did.  Thats incompetence.  They did not mean to do it, and it should be forgiven not consequenced, unless its severe like hitting and dangerous.  You can often see the difference, if in doubt conseqence.  Focus on less talking to the child and act rather than react-like send them to their room.  Yes it is frustrating, enormously so, but they don't have the control of there actions as other children do, and need a soft place to fall, as well as being taught at home that its not appropriate, so eventually they can function as well as most people.  The fact is that you will have to repeat yourself over and over, but he will learn eventually.  Add in a motivator as well.  Let him know what will happen if he engages in specific behaviors you want him to decrease.   My son would scream or make loud noises in the morning particulary when he was excited or totally adhd.  It took him years to stop.  He stopped about 2 years ago when his voice changed- he's now 15.I've used rehearsal/role playing.  If we're going to be in a situation where I think ds won't respond right, I go over what to expect and how to respond a few times.  It's not always possible to do, but it helps.