"To hit?" Did Cody hit or not, according to the bus driver? Does the driver know all the facts? Why would your child just up and hit another? Was he provoked (either actually or in his perception)? Children generally don't hit for no reason. These are rhetorical questions. There is a root cause for the bus misbehavior; much of it is ADHD, and you can mention this to the bus driver. But is someone bothering him or teasing him, are the kids generally unruly on the bus? Buses to me can be hotbeds for misbehavior generally. Perhaps a reward system for good bus behavior, or have you tried that already?
Piggybacking on BPQW's comments, often what an ADHD child does is noticed much more often than a non-ADHD child. That's because the ADHD child has a history or is seen as a bad behaver, and the non-ADHD child may be slick enough to hit without being seen. So the bus driver, teacher, may only see the ADHD child striking out or only believe the non-ADHD child's version of events.
When it comes to setting up a child for suspension through documentation, I would ask for details, just make it sound like you're obtaining facts, not jumping into "defense mode." I'd also consider dropping him off at school, as was suggested above. Good luck.
My son had a lot of trouble on the bus when he was that age, some still but not as much. Being hypeersensitive to chaos and stimuli the bus was a time bomb, as were assemblies and a field trip to a zoo with very loud monkeysAnyway we found that ear plugs helped some with situations like that and just had to work with the school to make sure they remembered to have him, or help him, use them at the needed times. Also something in his hands that could keep him busy, maybe a stress ball, or rubiks cube or similar puzzle type thing that is highly portable. I would suggest a hand held video game, but most schools don't allow them to be brought to school. Kids still use them on the bus however and if you have a meeting with the administrator in charge of bus discipline referals, and work out a behavior plan with them and your son, it may be possible to have him carry it and hand it to someone, maybe even the bus driver, as he gets on and off the bus. It might help to insist the bus driver be met with as well and be sure he understands your sons specific needs and difficulties. The bus driver may be able to come up with some helpful suggestions of his own, and it might help him be more tollerant and give a bit more leway before refering your son for suspension. You shoulld encourage him to still let you know about his behavior and assure him you have immediate consequenses at home for misbehavior if you are made aware of it ASAP. It is important that you do have consequences at home for misbehavior, but this can be a downward spiral for the ADD/ADHD child as they get in trouble so often, so a positive consequence for good bus behavior would go a long way in helping I think. A reward of some kind, preferably in 2's one for am and one for pm, as if he misbehaves in the morning and loses his reward he will have no insentive to behave on the way home. It could be stickers, and earning so many stickers gets him a certain reward..trip to the movies or park, or toy from the dollar store, whatever you can come up with togive praise for the good behavior. When my son was little we used an empty babyfood jar and put in 5 M&M's everyday and for each "problem" we took out one. He got to see visually the affect his behavior had on his reward, and at the end of the day he got what was left in his jar. Then if he had none left we said "oh that's to bad, maybe tomorrow you will do better and get your M&M's" and if he got them it was "that's great I'm really proud of you" We tried not to put too much focus on the negative, but each situation varies as to what level of consequence there is of course. The bus driver could easily give you a hand signal as you pick him up from the bus, or just say good this morning, rough afternoon, or whatever. But you have to have the feedback in order for it to work. A bus buddy could be helpful too, an older child who he could sit with that might help him stay out of trouble, talk to him, read with him, make sure he's playing his game, or whatever. Are schools where you live required to provide transportation for kids who have an IEP? Find out what your rights are, your son's rights and let them know you know and you expect them to do their job, they are accountable for upholding the laws and providing your son with the services he needs to be successful in school. They may not be legally able to put him off thew bus unless they provide another form of transportation, I don't know that that is the case, but it is worth the time to find out what exactly you can do and require them to do. Good luck. mADDhouse38975.4033333333Thanks for the ideas there all great. Most times he goes to school with something it doesn't make it home, because he is sharing and or afraid to say no. Reward systems don't work well for him :(. I'm not sure what the transportation for kids with IEP I will have to look into that. He does sit in the front seat, I don't know I am so drained from this. I had a feeling it was not going to be any better then last year, but I hoped it would. I don't know what goes on in the bus kids are kids, he doesn't usually hit unless someone hits him. But it is easy for him to get stirred up if you know what I mean. I honestly feel that they just have a grudge against my son and the situation isn't going to get any better. I am just frustrated with the school, I was thinking of calling the principal who I have never met one on one and tell her everything, I have been in meetings with assistant principal and she puts on a good smile but I see the uncaring, unconcerned behind it. I'm just so tired of going to meetings by myself, I know my husband has to work but I would love for him to be there once, you know? I could drive him everyday as a last resort. Hope for the best :)))) I'm not sure that you'd ever get to the bottom of what happened on the bus if you tried. I would either arrange for him to sit directly behind the bus driver, or in the back seat to reduce interaction with other children. I would also give him an MP3 player and tell him that he is to play music at all times while he is on the bus to reduce interaction with other children. On this board, I have heard nothing but bad news about ADHD children on school buses. Apparently, it just is not the ideal environment.