Hi there...My 10yo son gets very excited & impulsively touches or flops onto us- He does not do it as much or as intensely at school..may grab, etc..but he can be relentless with it at home. I try to do "touch time" with him...scheduled time before bed where I will rub his back, talk to him - He really annoys his little brother with it & I can see that he does not "get" the cues that he is annoying people. We have talked about Space Bubbles, Personal Space..he gets the concept but it is as if he has no control of this in the evenings....Has anyone had this? Any tips?!!
Unfortunatley I don't have any tips but my daughter (8) does the same thing and it drives her little sister crazy! She too does not get the 'cues' either. Any tips would be appreciated!
My 10 y.o. daughter does a lot of the same things. She'll jump on people, likes to sleep touching someone, and is more physical than the rest of us. I read a book, (The Five Love Languages for Children, I think) that discussed different ways that people perceive love. If we touch, hug, tickle, etc. our daughter more, it seems to help with this need.
Also, we let her go to sleep with the dog every night -- she loves to have a warm body near her.
My son did the jumping on us thing too when he was very hyperactive. No matter what, this behavior isn't acceptable, so he would be counted then timed out. He was encouraged to sit beside us or cuddle but no jumping. When he was jumping, it was pure misbehavior, because he was looking for negative attention which he quickly got. I think we need to teach our children what is appropriate and what isn't despite them being adhd. When my son was younger like 4-7 he liked to rough play, and it seemed like a physical need for him, so we wrestled in a playful fun way. It took a while but the behavior is gone, and he's able to use physical touch in an appropriate manner, most of the time.Kathigoo, thanks for sharing your story. That was so nice to read and I'm glad things worked out well for him. Dance and theatre, what a great idea! Interesting responses on this one. I wish I had read this board when my son was younger. My son's issue used to be jumping on peoples backs. I have seen the same behavior on another ADHD child and think it is probably one of those impulsive, sensory issues. He has a need to be physical but simply has no clue how to go about about satisfying the need in a socially acceptable manner.Thank you for the replies...it all makes sense & I am going to try some of the things suggessted here- This is a really nice place to get some positive & helpful feedback
It's a sensory issue. Roll him up in a quilt and squeeze him; Have him wear a tight fitting weighted vest; Massages are good but try some deep compressions (ask an OT for its procedure). He may understand the concept of personal space but his body is telling him that he's needing that deep pressure. When you hug him, squeeze him. Also, get a trampoline and a bean bag chair. Have him dive off the trampoline (mini-indoor style) into the beanbag. That may help too. You can also dry brush him to desentisize him. That may help too. Give him some squeeze toys for him to play with. Keep them around the house. He needs that outlet. Go to the library (or book store) and check out a book called: The Out of Sync Child Has Fun .. can't remember the author .. I'm sure someone here does. It'll give you some other techniques you can use. INaBOX38976.5653125thanks.....I kind of do some of that with him instictintively anyway & it does seem to help - My 6yo nephew has autism and I see some of that stuff my brother does help him - I actually just got that book a couple days ago! He is not sensitive to touch; though - he craves it - When I do those deep rubs, he takes a really deep breath & totally relaxes -
[QUOTE=kriggy]thanks.....I kind of do some of that with him instictintively anyway & it does seem to help - My 6yo nephew has autism and I see some of that stuff my brother does help him - I actually just got that book a couple days ago! He is not sensitive to touch; though - he craves it - When I do those deep rubs, he takes a really deep breath & totally relaxes -
Do you do those moves all night? He can have "spells" of constant touching like that for about 15min, then he will draw or something & calm down.....then something will trigger his excitement & he's off & running!! I just dont want to always be nagging him to stay in his own space, stop touching, etc...He takes that to mean he is bad.... I will try the tramp./bean bag - that sounds right up his alley! Thanks again![/QUOTE]
I think you should start keeping a diary and write down the times and the ABC's (antecedents, behaviour, consequences) so you can know if there's a particular pattern of set time or event he's more likely going to need this sensory diet to be applied.
As for how long, I can't remember the rule of thumb to that. I know that when you dry brush a child, you do it hard and fast. It's not a massage session and it shouldn't take longer than 5 minutes to do from head to toe.
In your situation, maybe limit your 'therapy' for 10 min in duration. That's great he's responding to it well and it proves it's what his issues are. Think about it, when you're really thirsty, you're going to keep asking for that glass of water until you get it. Your son is asking non-verbally and probably doesn't understand the messages his body is telling him anyway. I'm sure he DOES feel like he's a bad kid but he can't put his mind around its concept.
Here's what I've done in the past with a student of mine:
1 Dry brushing - 5 minutes
2. Heavy work - I either had him carry a basket of heavy books; carry a medicine ball; roll the medicine ball along the floor; run around the field twice; steps; (he didnt like the trampoline) and we would do this for another 5 minutes.
After steps 1 and 2 were complete, he was ready for seatwork. If not, we would repeat the steps.
Another thing you can try is to have him carry a heavy backpack and take a walk around the neighbourhood. It'll help balance him.
Hope this helps.