Big Fight!!!!! | ADHD Information

Well maybe she'll talk with you at work. Her hubby is probably on her case and preventing her to apologize on her behalf. Wait until you see her and make it a point to talk with her about it and clear the air.I feel awful because my friend hasn't called all day.  I don't want to call in a chance that her drunk, pot smoking husband might answer.  She called a mutual friend this afternoon that had been at the BBQ and did not mention any of it.  If my husband was to ever do that I would be calling asap.  Maybe I am just overworried because I do have to work with her.Thanks guys for the support.  I am loving these boards.  They make you feel like you are not alone.  I am proud of Brandon.  Today was day three of the daytrana patch.  I am keeping my fingers crossed.  Thanks again.

Hang in there! Until a person has to deal with ADHD in their own lives, being directly affected by ADHD in someone they love, there is no way that most of them will believe that anything but discipline is needed.

That man is ignorant. You know you are doing your best to get the best for your son. Heck, spanking him would be much easier than dealing with drs, and prescriptions and IEPs and all the other time and energy stealers we deal with regularly.

Know that you are doing what you know is right. You understand ADHD and have researched it. He hasn't.

Pat yourself on the back for doing the right thing even though it isn't the easies,t and don't share information like that with anyone again unless they have a need to know. If you have to talk with someone, find someone you can trust to believe in you even if they don't believe in ADHD.

Well bad news.  My friend told another coworker that I was instigating the whole situation.  That she felt bad for slapping and hitting her husband.  I am sad.  I hate it when people let you down.  My other two coworkers called today to give me their support.  They both know how her husband is.  Sadly, I don't believe they have a normal relationship.  She pretty much stuck up for her husband.  I have not been to work due to an ill sister.  Will go back Friday.  You all wish me the best of luck.  I have been let down.  I know that I am doing the best that I can for my son that I can.  He is FUNCTIONING in school and society well because of our decisions.  I need to keep reminding myself this.  We all need to remember this!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry you had to go through that half of my inlaws feel the same as he does. But guess what they are all adhd and won't accept it. This guy probably is to and his way of dealing is self medication (drinking and whatever he does). It is easier to cut someone up than to deal with issues under their noses.

Hope you feel better soon.

it got to you because even though he was drunk (no excuse) it still and always will hurt because you love your child and made to hard decision to medicate to help your child.  No one knows what we live through on this board but us friends co-workers have no clue how our lives are different. 

I say someone owes you an apology.

Jillette38976.282025463You're right Jillette.  None of my friends can really understand.  Would you believe that I only know one other child with ADD/ADHD?  Thanks for your reply.  These boards are the best support I've had.

My best friend knows that my son was diagnosed with adhd and that for a while we tried alternatives instead of meds, so she says stuff like,"Don't ever put him on stimulants. He has such a spark in his eye, it would be a shame to lose that."  She doesn't really believe that he has an attention problem, just that he's bright and bored on school. She's a middle school teacher and says that her adhd kids are like "ferrets on speed." I've never told her that we are giving the stims a try because I know what her reaction would be. We've been using them for several months now and she's never commented on anything being "wrong" with him, so I guess he hasn't lost that "spark!"  I'm very sorry that you are having this problem right now. Our friends should be our solace and security.  Blame the alcohol and not the man and maybe you can find a way to get past it.  Good luck to you.

 

Okay-I have to unload on someone.  Last night, my husband and I went to a BBQ at one of my very good friends (and co-worker).  We were all drinking alcohol though my husband and I were being careful because we had to drive.  Her husband was drunk.  Turns out he is against medicating kids "to suit our purpose, not the childs".  ONE OF THOSE.  Well it escalated.  At first I was calm and trying to explain why Brandon needs medicine and that it helps him "function better in society".  He just kept shooting his mouth.  I told my husband that we needed to leave.  As I was leaving, I told him "Thank you for making me feel badly about something I already worry about everyday"  He said "Well F--- you too!"  I cried when we left.  My good friends husband is a drunk, but she is my friend.  Why did I let someone who doesn't know even 14 of what I know about ADHD get to me?  Because I am insecure about it.  Everyday I question myself and the things I do with Brandon.  Damn him and ignorant people like him.  Sorry everyone.  I just had to get it out.  I feel sad and like I have lost a friend.

You know what else?  I think 40 year old men should be able to handle their alcohol a little better than he does.  JERK!!So sorry this happened to you last night.  What jerks!    I also have a tendency to share personal info with friends.  Luckily, I have had sympathetic audiences so far.  Lots of families in my neighborhood are dealing with ADHD.  But you're right, sharing personal info should only happen with "safe" people.  It obviously is an extremely touchy subject.  It reminds me of when, so long ago now, discussing whether to breast feed or bottle feed!  People get so angry about it!!Figuring out who's "safe" is the hard part, though.

Remember that old piece of advice --never discuss politics or religion...........I guess we can add medicating ADHD children to that list geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!!!!

When it comes to my children the decisions I make for their health and well being are not up for debate and nobody else (who isn't my child's parent) gets to take part in his health care decisions.

I'm sorry he was so mean to you-you are doing the best thing for your child because you know him best and love him the most. Don't look back he's not worth it.

  BIG HUG

ang

I'm sorry vivster, sounds like he's a charter member of AA - A$$holes Anonymous!

I've been through the same thing with my MIL.  I just told her it wasn't up for discussion and walked out.  She never said another word to me about it.  Of course (I never thought I'd be saying this) but my MIL sounds more reasonable than this guy!

Take a deep breath and realize that other people probably thought he was acting like butthead.  Has your friend called you or let you know how she feels about what her husband said?hugs coming your way!

Haven't heard a word from my friend.  She is probably embarrassed.  I am going to chalk it up to he is undereducated and doesn't know what he is talking about.  Still.  It is a touchy spot.  This should def be added to the list of things not to discuss!!  I just know that everything I am doing for Brandon is a HARD decision that my husband and I make.  Perhaps I should keep my personal things at home and not make them public.  We should not have to defend ourselves to others.  Especially to others who have no experience what-so-ever in the subject.  Thanks for the support guys!!!  Ya'll are fantastic.

Just found out that my son keyed my daughters name in the side of my car last night.  No impulse control.  Here I go shelling out some dough!!!

I really feel for you going through this. My husband was foolish enough to tell a couple that he works closely with and is sociable with that our daughter has ADHD. This couple is part of a cult/"religion" that does not believe in psychs, let alone meds. They suggested he check out the web page for CCHR to get the "truth". I spent a week getting documentation to show my husband that the web site was full of outdated information and misinformation. When the wife asked my husband if he found the site to be useful, he told her bluntly that it was full of outdated information and misinformation. She threw him out of the house. She was perfectly sober at the time. Things were tense for a while and now they just do not discuss it any more. My husband has learned not to share personal medical information.That is so true susieb.  My friend is one of my biggest cheerleaders about Brandon.  She is always the first to tell me it will get better.  She is very supportive.  I never had any idea that her husband was so against meds.  She probably did not want to tell me because she knew it would hurt me.  I still haven't heard from her.  He actually said that what we needed to do was bust Brandon's A$$ more often and then he would act better.  I just have a hard time figuring how so many people in this fantastic world are so ignorant.

It's funny you say this because I'm at the other end of the spectrum and have had people make me uncomfortable because I chose NOT to medicate my son. They didn't really say much but they sure did non-verbally. I felt like I was a horrible person because I'm not giving my son a chance do succeed.

My point being, regardless what we decide on this subject matter, we're always going to meet people who will disagree with us. No one knows our children better than ourselves and as long as you've invested enough energy into your research prior to your final decision .. no one can tell you otherwise.

As for that husband, he's entitled to his opinion and you'll just have to take his words with a grain of salt. Unfortunately, due to the alcohol, he didn't broach the subject with any sensitivity as he might have hadn't he been drinking. Don't sweat it.  It's a heated debate to begin with.

Don't worry you are not alone. My own step father once said to me. What is this whole world going to put kids on drugs. He said a good spanking is all he needs. I said you take this child for a week off his meds and tell me he doesn't need them. My son is 8 and has been on meds since 3. And my dad still doesn't like the idea of me giving him meds. He thinks he is just being a boy. Remember that your friends husband is a drunk. And alchol played a part in that. I know it hurt. Believe me i brake down a lot. If he is going to be like that. Then stay away from him so he can't hurt you or your family anymore.

vivser41

im sorry you met such an ignorant person and hes married to your best friend, i was talking to my councillor and he told me we are breading the next generation of adhd/add children and because we as parents are learning more and more about this medical problem we are helping our children become better behaved when they grow up, so giving the best possible chance in the future with so many hurdles out there adhd will be there least worry when they go into adult hood learning how to handle this medicaly,

my worst worry about having a son was what he would be like as he hit 15 would he rebel would he start drinking hanging out with ppl that are unsutible, my son behaves better than children without medical problems im so proud

Hope everything goes better today.