Hi,
I'm new to the "forum" websites. I will try and keep this as short and to the point as I can.
Basically, my question is this: As a parent, when do I stop trying to help/protect/guide my ADHD daughter?
She was diagnosed (finally) in the 9th grade after some very grueling and painful years both for her and the rest of the family that loves her. We found an excellent doctor and she has been on Adderall XR for the past number of years along with having a coach for her academics.
She is now 19 and in her first year of college (in a different state). She and I are close as I have been her primary "warrior" to help her through all of this.
She has had a problem with chronic lying since junior high. The problem has been fluid but always there to certain extents. She lies to me about things I don't even ask her about. She lies about things that are easily exposed. She cheats on her boyfriends and vehemently insists that she never did keeping in mind that I don't even ask her! This involves her dad and sister as well as myself because we all love her so much but see the lies and how desperate she seems to make us believe them. I have even asked her if she knows when she lies. She says that she does. When will it end?
She seems to "need me" alot and I want to be there for her always. But, now that she's 19 I find myself becoming even more angry and frustrated with the lying. Plus, now that she's an adult shouldn't she have outgrown this? How can I make it clear to her that I want it to stop without alienating her? Should I tell her that I don't want her to tell me about her romantic life if she's not going to tell me the truth?
She just left for college 3 weeks ago and is having the predictable homesickness that comes with it so I don't want to necessarily broach this with her now. But, I'm also sick of being torn up inside about this. I know to a certain extent I'm worried about things I can't control. But, what can I say, I'm a parent. ;
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