Our son was dx'd at age 3 -- same reason -- teachers were telling us there were red flags. For us, it was also a HUGE red flag looking at our family history and my husband had also just been dx'd ADHD at the same time. It was not a stretch for us that our son also had inherited it and I had always known he was "different" even as a baby (never slept, reacted way more emotionally than other kids, etc.).
In retrospect, it's been great to be able to educate ourselves and provide him with some help. We do not medicate but we do use supplements (Omegas and Magnesium were the first we started with ) that help quite a bit. Also, researching things that help (like a routine, avoiding overstimulating situations when possible -- like a McDonald's on a rainy Saturday at noon, and lookign into diet modifications, etc.). There's plenty you can do even at a pre-school age.
I can identify w/ feeling upset by what the teacher says -- no one wants the "problem child" and I know, last year the teacher we had certainly made my son feel that way b/c she did not understand boys, much less the disorder. One reason he is probably better w/ you is that he is used to home and familiar with your limits and boundaries. I know our son acts much more hyper, etc. when he is in an overstimulating situation that can sometimes happen at pre-school.
This is a good place to start, you might check out the Alternatives to Meds board. Welcome!
neing. My son is 4 today and he was a sensitive baby and still is. 7 months ago his teacher gave us red flags, frustrated, overly excited, grabbing, distracted, etc etc. We got him a school eval which and where they thought he was great except his fine motor tested at a 16 month level. Got OT and got him a Shadow for school.
Now he is at a new place called PK in a new school, prior school had only Nursery and 4-6 grades. While he is and never was badly behaved with myself, he has hit one boy I'm told, cries to go home once a day, repeats what he wants several times over, "can I talk to Stacey" at the wrong time for talking, and talks all the time btw, said the teacher, and is loud. He told her he'd tell his Dad on the her and gets upset when they change activities. His Pediatrician who is also a DP gave him the Connor test, I think it's called, and he did not do great, not horrible, but not well. I don't have money to pay for what my insurance will not cover and I think I need to get more help for him. If it's ADD can't smeone tell me now and help him out for sure? Surely his teacher will be miserable with him soon if not already. I think he is suffering, cannot control himself and is really a spoiled pain among his problems. I guess his "social" skills stink too, some days are good and others not. My insurance has no Neuro in the plan and they seem to have never heard of one! Shpould i get to another DP that can dx and possibly medication?
Also, he is afraid of the vacuum, doesn't freak out but gets scared, he is smart, speaks so well and is very imaginative, great stories and fun to play with when he is in the mood.
He just turned 4, so why not give him some time. I woldn't jump into anything. I don't think it's particularly alarming or unusual for a just-turned-4 boy to hit.
What does your DP say? What does he/she want to do? And why was you son OK at the prior school, but not at this one? What is different? Have you sat in school to observe him yourself? Is he unhappy at this new place? Is he having adjustment problems? Is he immature for his age? How is he at home?
Reaching an ADHD dx is pretty much a subjective process.
I'm not sure why you are concerned about making the pre-K teacher miserable. That should be at the bottom of your priority list. I would just focus on what's best for my child.
My son was HORRIBLE in pre-k.......he had been going to day care previously also, so he had no excuse..LOL. He gets overstimulated when there are many kids, still does, he is 7 now. He got through pre-k and kindergarden, never the best child, but we managed somehow. 1st grade was difficult and that is when I started suppliments. It took me a year to get him to this point, he is back in 1st grade too. He is still having problems, but we are working on it. The marble system and an herbal remedy called Focus has helped tremendously.
You are doing good by reading this board and researching all your options early. I would not medicate at this point either. I wish I would have done it earlier!
After I read your story it sounded a lot like my son. My son was dx'd with sensory intergration disorder at 3. Absolultly hated the vacuum, could flush a toliet in public places, the hair dryer seemed to be the worse. After seeing a psychologist he was labed as having sensory intergration. He qualified for an early childhood program at the school at age 3. This required no meds!!! and all of his services were covered through the school. Some of this other symptoms included problems with fine motor activites. There were certain outfits he wouldn't wear and we had no idea why. I thought he was a fashion concious little boy. Turned out the with the Sensory issues he sense of touch was overstated so certain fabrics bothered him. Again there was no meds involved just therapy they could provide at school. He has outgrown alot of the sensory issues. I can actually vacuum when he is home and I can even dry my hair. Hope this might help a little.
Your situation reminds me of a conversation I had with a girlfriend this weekend . My son, who started acting out when my husband and I separated, was about to get kicked out of a martial arts aftercare that had worked out for seven months before that. He then started acting out in school. I realized that the aftercare was deteriorating (new faces, workers who did not know how to handle kids, let alone my son, lots more kids, etc.) My son started doing things that he KNEW would get him kicked out -- name-calling the head master, hitting other kids, so on. I had seen this pattern before -- if he didn't like a setting or it was too much for him, and if he was facing a tough transition, he acted out. So I was alert to the fact that the aftercare just wasn't good for him anymore, and I began searching for another one quickly. I found a center with a small group of kids (about five total, along with some daycare kids) that had no problem with my son's issues. So far, so good.
Anyway, when I told my girlfriend this, she said, "He was smart enough to act up to get kicked out of that place, isn't that something?" And I never thought about it quite that way, because my son is very verbal. But sometimes, our kids communicate in different ways, and we have to learn to hear them.
So with your son, it's very likely that where he is now for Pre-K doesn't isn't right for him, and the teacher does not have the skills to deal with him. If she's crabby now, and it's just the beginning, what does the future hold? I agree on holding off on the dx (Conner is indeed subjective), but I wouldn't be too quick to say he's not ready for pre-k. It could be the environment.
Good luck to you.
[QUOTE=It'sme]Should i get to another DP that can dx and possibly medication? [/QUOTE]
I don't think medication is necessary at this point. He would benefit with using some intervention of some kind. Meds should be used for far more serious cases after all other options have been executed and failed. It doesn't sound as if this is the case with your child. IMO, sounds like he may have some sensory issues so I would look into getting an OT for that - if anything else. Also, his daycare center should know how to handle children who have difficulties with transitions. Ask them what they've done in the past that has worked.
So, does this mean your son is in four-year-old Kindergarten? If so, maybe you should consider that he's not ready for that environment yet and put him in a regular daycare for 4's. Structured learning begins so early here now, though I understand that many other countries let children start when they are ready, not necessarily at a particular age.The teacher doesn't answer any questions at all. Like what have you done in the past? She's pretty cranky and hard. We've had OT for a good 8 months, obv not helping eh?
Yes, a 4 year old class as I said PK, some kids are three. As you mentioned, he's not ready and he's never been in Daycare. Is it a bit easier on the kids? I thought structure was good for these guys. Thanks all, i'll listen 2 any advice, i'm desperatteeeeee.
Are you sure that's not my ds you have there? He was exactly the same as you describe. I wish I had waited but we put him into kindergarten as soon as we could. I think if we'd waited another year it would have been easier on him. Insurance didn't cover our dx but I was allowed to make payments. I think I probably would have just put it on a charge card, I was so desperate for help. Is there a university nearby that might do this kind of testing? You'll probably have quite a wait, but it will help.