My nightmare weekend | ADHD Information
Jillette, I know you are in the University Study and took her off the meds. Is this something that can be looked at again? Was she like this while on her medication? If meds are no longer an option, can you try some alternatives like magnesium/omegas? If the study does not want additional variables , I would ask them to move up the treatment/behavior portion
Your DS is only in 2nd grade, I would see if you can get a NO homework written in the IEP or at least a reduced HW for study for tests and basic facts only.
Can relate since school staff won't help parents with behavior issues always. I now realize we are the educators the staff are the ones introduceing the materials. Hw should be elegal!More stuff after is like school for 10 or more hrs. Kids needs to help at home and still get to have a childhood. Another thing is not all of us can be college students. Trades are just as valuable as a degree person. Amercia needs a total revamp if you ask us. I understand how you feel. I have had many days this summer just like the one you had. Hang in there!Yes Smallmom I did read the book Explosive child by Ross Greene awhile back. As for the med thing I am seeing the study people tonight every tuesday and plan to talk to them that if things do not improve that her random mix may need to be re-done. I was told they do that according to what happens if things are not going as well. Her daily notes are not soo good either, yesterdays note said she got upset and purposly broke her pencil and when the teacher was talking to her she smiled as she did it. When i asked her about it she denied breaking the pencil.
As far as not having them send home unfinished work they do have to for some because how can they grade a child on their work if it is not done. It was only 4 worksheets with 4 problems on both sides should have taken 1 hour maybe a little more not 6. Someone suggested on another board to break it down do 20 minutes then take breaks inbetween my problem is she was distracted from the get go so that Idea would be hard. Thanks everyone and i did not have to go off my my brother-in-law I basically kept a distance.
ivanhoe, you have struck a chord with me and I have to express my thoughts.
you say....School staff are not educators ...
how insulting!!!!! Tell that to the million+ teachers that spend hours and hours to help children on a daily basis.
ivanhoe, try living a day in the life of one of my teachers at school. We have children that come to us daily that have no support from home or that have parents that work 2-4 jobs because they can't make ends meet. Many of my teachers, secretaries, aides etc... "adopt kids" at school and help them in areas they don't get at home as well as educate them. We have one little girl that is the oldest of her siblings, 7 years old. She has 4 siblings. Her mom expects her to be the grown-up. She misses school to stay home and diaper the baby because mom does not want to get up or take her to the bus stop etc... this little girl is starting to see that life can be great if someone takes the time with her. She has dreams of being a teacher because the classroom teachers she has had and the secretary work with her daily on classwork, homework, and social skills. She just told one of her teachers this the other day.
Kids do need to be kids for this I agree. They however also need to have opportunities to do homework at home. Hours are not needed but at least 20-45 minutes depending on the grade level are necessary if we want our kids to be the best they can be.
You are correct that trades are valuable as is college. I however, for one believe that you have to have a good core education to be a success at anything you do wether it is a trade or college graduate.
At this point I don't have a child in public school. But when he starts next year, if I see that he has learning problems or even if he doesn't , I for one will make sure I do what it takes to support him and the school. I want my child to be the best he can be in any job he elects to have. Wether he works at The Arches or is the President of a Bank. I want him to know that it takes effort and pride to be a successful person in life.
pardon the errors in spelling... my spell check isn't working tonight and I need to attend to my wonderful son.
Hang in there Jillete. Don't worry about what your brother-in-law says. I come from a very conservative christian background and sometimes people say things (family included) that just make me fume. I have learned to ignore them, and be accountable to myself and God, not them.
I am sure she is just as miserable as you are Jillete. I know I was a very strongwilled child, and would pretend that punishment did not affect me, and that I could care less. However, it really did affect me and I did really care. Sometimes kids use not caring as a survival mechanism. Maybe your daughter is using it to hide feelings of being unable to succeed, etc. I would try to find out the source of not caring, and work from there.
Hang in there, and my thoughts are with you.
good luck jillette! just hold on to the knowledge that you are a great mom and that your daughter will be a lovely adult and well, if you have to let fly at your brother-in-law - fair enough.it's not so nice for someone to make snide comments at somebody else's expense and if an explosion stops him doing it - then, why not!? (snide comments are just a kind of bullying if you ask me - and i do think one should always try to stamp out bullying where one can - so consider yourself doing the world a favour.)
if you can do it with humour and wit - so much the better for you.
i wish your naughty daughter some better feelings too! i am sure it is hard on both of you - but feel sure that between the two of you, you will beat it.
I don't have advice for you, just know that your not alone. There have been many, many days where I'm at my wits end and would like to beat them into oblivion
. Hang in there, there will be better days 
Jill, sorry you're struggling. Have you read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene? That method seems to work better than behavior mod for a lot of our kids.
BTW, maybe she's not being defiant. Maybe she can't do the schoolwork. In addition, an hours worth of homework for a 6-year-old is more than even kids that age with no issues can handle.
ITA w/Small Mom on the homework. I had to stop both my son's kindergarten and 1st grade teachers from sending home undone classwork. My son is doing his work now, but last year, in kindergarten, they would send home pages of worksheets. We'd struggle. Besides taking a journey through tantrumville, the worksheets bored even me. No wonder he didn't do them! 
But, it's like someone told me, if a worksheet has two sides dealing with the same thing, and the child completes one page, he or she can do the work. Give him or her credit for the one page and move on. It's not fair to send it home and make you and her focus on it. That's a set-up for tantrums, IMHO.
Anyway, sorry you had to go through that. I've been there. Hang in there.
jillette,
I think it is great you can express your feelings openly. I've had to work on this and it isn't always easy. I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers. I admire you for hanging in there and not giving up. You sound like a wonderful mom. I know you love your family, but some people just don't understand if they don't live in our shoes.
My mom, as much as she loves me and my child, just doesn't understand sometimes how or why I work with my son the way I do. I just contribute it to the fact that she doesn't understand the whole picture. She never had to deal with either my brother or myself having ad/hd issues.
Let us know how things turn out. Take care!
i know exactly what you are going thru... punishing dillon only seem to make matters worse... he could careless...we also end up leaving parties due to his behavior.. I remember days like that! So sorry you had a bad weekend. That really stinks!
About the homework, what an idiot teacher! Last year Dillon used to get so much homework, at age 6, I was horrified. I used to time it. Make him do a little on each page and quit at 20 minutes, any more than that and it was meltdown time! I would write notes saying he did a good job but too much homework. And I talked to his teacher. She ended up giving him less homework. But she mentioned not all teachers in the future would be like her. Luckily he has a teacher this year that does not believe in lots of homework either. But ya know what? In the future, if he gets tons, I WILL go to whoever I have to go to and complain. Maybe it will work, maybe not. But I am totally against tons of homework, it's just not right. The japanese just came to the conclusion that homework is useless, after years of research. I think they know what their doing!
Praying you and your DD get through this...keep us posted.
Well after being told she has been defiant in school and not getting her work done she as a consequence got an hours worth of homework this weekend. So the deal was it was the last day the amusement park we have seasons passes for was to be open in order to go homework and picking up ones toys needed to be done first. It took us 6 hours to do the work inbetween meltdowns, tantrums, and taking away tons of privilages even bed early and No amusement park. Nothing touched her she could care less. I feel so angry with her I want to beat her little bottom red and raw and I am so stressed now I do not know if I want to cry or scream.
Well today part 2 the toys still did not get picked up I had to so I made her stay in her bedroom and only come out for food, bathroom or drink, still nothing is affecting her. I told her she is not allowed to play in my living room anymore due to behavior and No tv. I am even more frustrated and am planning to call the psychologist tommorow (we go on the 21st) and as far as the study I plan to talk to the one in charge as well I am ready to put her back on meds behavior mod alone is not working I am at my wits end and I am sure her nice teachers are too. ARggggggggg!
To top things off I called my brother the minister for advice and got a lecture on how I do not discipline my child how she is minipulating me need I say more. I now have to go to a birthday party for my mother-in-law that we will be leaving early for putting her to bed early again for behavior and will probibly hear something snide by my idiot brother-in-law. He is always cutting us down and making rude snide comments and I am feeling volitile right now not a good mix. I will keep you all posted and apologize for this being so long. Jill
Jillette,
I have no advise but my sister goes through the same stuff with her daughter. I know how my sis is at her wits end with her daughter and just as my heart breaks for my sister, anyone going though what you are...tugs at my heart strings.