My son is 10 and has been diagnosed for about 5 years now. He is currently on Ritalin LA 30mg and 5mg of Ritalin as needed. I always was glad that he was not mean or unruly like some other kids I had seen that were also ADHD. It seems like that over the summer, my kid has changed. He used to be very loving and sweet. Our major problems were being inattentive and hyper, but never behavior problems. Now he talks back, says improper things, steals, breaks things, doesn't listen, gets into arguments and whines alot. Unless he is medicated (and sometimes event then) I don't know where my son has gone. I just need to know where the ADHD ends and whatever else begins.
Hi Kace,
You may have a few things going on here. For one thing....your son is now a tween, and it is a different developmental stage. Each year our kids start asserting their independence a little more and more.
When I read your first post....the first thing I asked myself B4 I had seen your subsequent post was whether or not he could have a co-morbid anxiety disorder going on that's not being addressed.
The reason I asked myself that was my own son, now 13, has both Primary Inattentive ADHD (with mild H ) along with a generalized anxiety dx. Back when he was 9 and 10.....his anxiety was REALLY peaking in 4th grade......and his at home behavior became MUCH worse, although he held it together at school. Like your son..... he had always been a sensitive, loving, caring child with just some quirky, silly, annoying behaviors. Nothing really mean spirited, destructive, or sneaky. Then....bam....its like things changed within just a few month period.
Until we treated his anxiety disorder, trying to get the ADHD under control was useless. Although it took a psychiatrist and psychologist to clearly explain to me all the different ways anxiety can manifest itself behavior wise in a ADHD kid..... my husband and I soon began to get the "big picture". In our case, we had to treat the anxiety with CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and Zoloft and he responded very well. (I am not suggesting you need to use meds.....this is an individual decision).
As children enter into 4th and 5th grade......... the pressures at school, both academically and socially with peers, accelerates big time. Expectations really ramp up.
Since you did post that your son did have some anxiety issues........ I'd try to solve this more recent problem based on this information. This may be anxiety rearing it's ugly head in a way that you didn't realize it (like I didn't).
Just an idea. Okiemom
okiemom38978.3319212963I, too have an eleven yo son in this catagory. I always get compliments from parents friends and teachers on how kind and well mannered he is, albiet impulsive. We too have noticed prepuberty rearing its ugly head, so I agree with Okiemom that it something to be considered. Is he just being fresh and is it only to his parents? Or is he getting mean and to everyone?
My son does not have anxiety, but, also to consider is that the chemical changes Puberty brings on can wreak havok on the way a medication works.
Puberty or not, I have yet to find a medication that had continued lasting effects more than two years. My son has needed to change medication a few times now, due both to ineffectiveness and side effects. My Doctor explained that after a while, the liver will "figure out a medication" and learn to metabolize it faster.
MommySalami38978.4523958333how long has your son been on the ritalin? I know when my son started taking ritalin his behavior got worse. He was doing exactly what you son is doing.My son probably always had ADHD but was only diagnosed when he turned 10 (5 months ago). He was hyper but it was always passed off as part of his sensory deficit. At 10 the hyperactivity was joined with poor behaviors. The behavior became so bad that we saught the help of a psychiatrist. Then came the diagnosis. My son was always able to keep his behaviors in check until he hit the 4th grade. It was a hugely transitional year for him. He is also blind, so he was faced with learning new technology, he changed wings in the school, test taking and studying became harder, his A's turned to C's, peers became more influential, he just plain and simply became overwhelmed and fell apart. We spent the summer getting meds straighted out, continued with his counseling, started Neurofeedback, and took a "Parenting an ADHD Child" class. All combined, we have had a good start to Grade 5 (I'm crossing all finger and toes).
I am finding that the above treatment is really starting to help. For instance, last Friday he was suppose to help me with a Cub Scout job and then we were going to head out for Neurofeedback. Instead of following through with the plan, he decided he didn't want to do it and started fighting me, being disrespectful, and refusing to leave the house. I told him he was grounded from the computer for the rest of the day, then I left the house without him. He called my cell phone to fight me on the grounding and then I let in to him. I told him he was incredibly selfish, and disrespectful. That he didn't care who he helped as long as he was happy and taken care of, then I hung up the phone. Now normally I would have been in for a complete melt down, we would have never gone to Neurofeedback and this would have continued way in to the evening. However, when I returned from my Cub Scout duty, he was eating out of the palm of my hand. He didn't like being told he was selfish and disrespectful. He apologized to me, was sweet as can be and we had a wonderful ride together going to Neurofeedback. I told my husband that "something" is working.
My son has been on Ritalin for about 2 or more years. His original diagnosis was ADHD and anxiety. He used to be on paxil, but over time he has been weened off of it. Anxiety is still an issue to a point, but nothing like it used to be. I don't think the medicine is the problem. When he is medicated, he is pretty good. Coming off of his meds has always been hard for him, but now it is harder. Then the rest of the night is pretty much a mess.
He gets in trouble for his behavior. I punish him and tell him all of that disrepectful and selfish stuff. When he is in his zone, you can call him the son of a biscuit eater and he would not care at all. Later on he will tell me that he didn't realize that he was doing this or that. An hour or less later he is back in the zone.
I hate this situation because there is such a fluctuation with him. I never know "who" is coming home from school or "who" will get up in the morning. No day is the same and I find myself just barely managing. He is now becoming more independent, but that scares me and I tend to hold on. I am forever trying to figure out how he is going to respond to this or that and trying to make sure he will be okay. He just goes along like it is nothing. Over the summer he started going places alone with friends (and their parents). I worried all day that his meds would wear off and he would be obnoxious or nasty, or that he would not be able to deal with this or that. It is stressful. Since school has opened he started riding the bus in the evening (new). Then he wanted to ride in the morning too. Then he wanted to get out of the car and wait at the bus stop. This morning he walked away from me on the way to the car and walked to the bus stop alone. He told me I didn't need to come. I am glad he is growing up and learning to do things. But at the same time, this boy still can't figure out how to get ready in the morning or if he has to use the bathroom or not. His people skills suck, but I am just suppose to let go and unleash him on people, lol.
I guess I am just stressed out, but I still would love to know what in the world is going on with him.
I am thinking he needs to be back on his paxil. He does have anxiety. I was just hoping he could do without it, and he had been, but I see it is needed again. Anxiety, depression and ADHD run in the family. I believe his father is bipolar. Of course his father will only consider that he MIGHT be ADHD. Anyway, I think you are really onto something about the anxiety. Also, I have a 15 year old daughter who has anxiety. I found it funny that they were quick to give my son paxil when he was diagnosed, but with her they want her to see this psychologist and that psychologist, but no meds. I have trouble getting her anywhere much less the psychologist. My kids sit there and tell them what they are going to say before they can say it. Neither child wants to go anymore. So she is ADD with anxiety, with no meds. Bottomline is that my hands are full. So I guess I will get him back on the paxil and see how that does.