Teacher Problems | ADHD Information
I am kinda peeved as there was no note today. This is only the second day with the meds change so I was kinda of hoping for even a short note.
I think alot of time teachers are a little shocked that some parents want alot of updates on there children. They also don't say anything until the problem becomes too big to handle themselves. My son is 16 now, but when he was younger I learned to expect different things from every teacher. Some teachers didn't want alot of contact with me, and seemed to be quite adept at avoiding contact. So I finally corner her and asked her to tell me only if he had a particular difficult day, so I could follow through with a loss of priveledge at home as well. Over the long term this was the most helpful in order for him to learn to cope reasonable well in the school system. When my childs med's were changed I expected more contact, and would catch the teacher after school, or call her after school, or leave a message. Maybe your son is doing okay right now in school, and she hasn't flagged him as being particularly difficult at this time. I've seen many a teacher that thought I was a pain in the ass and worried too much. I agree that I worried too much, but on the other hand maybe thats why he's turning out so well. I don't know if this was helpful or not. Keep plugging away, if nothing else get her to keep contact through notes.My son had an IEP when he was in the early childhood program for 2 years. They retested him last fall and the only issues the testing showed that his attention span was not age approiate. So now we are in kindergarden against school's request as he failed his kindergarden screening with out an IEP.
I did call his teacher at home on Sunday because we had an appointmnet with the dr on Monday and I needed her input in the change in meds. I asked her about the note. I said can I assume that no news is good news? Her answer was no.... no news means I didn't have time to write a note, so don't assume that everything is going fine just because you don't get a note. If she thinks that it is something significant that I should know she said that she would call me. But I have heard that before one Friday she said there were some issues and she would call me. I waited by the phone all weekend and no call. I tired to approach her after school on Monday and she said she was busy and she would call...again I waited by the phone and finally she called at 8:00p.m. as we were trying to get ready for bed.
I have given up to the fact that this year will be a struggle for me. My son really enjoys this teacher, the classroom is the most out of the way so there is less distraction. So I will grin and bear it.
Teachers: get off the notion you must be on your butt to learn this is false. Not all kids learn visually either. Educate yourself on processing disorders. That is more the child's struugle than poor attention. Just cause you improve attention means nothing. Quit trying to put a child in a system that isn't the way the child learns best.Make your class room to fit the needs of all the kids in your class. The best classroom is a multisensory environment. Failing k just means not reading yet. Neurologists will tell you not all kids will read leaving K like the Govt. says should be. Todays grades goals are crazy. Not everyone has the readness for what they claim should be taught at each level. Readyness can not be forced either. What is claimed appopriate these days is way off. Classes are set up for the majority not the minority. The govt/staff need to realize we all grow and excell at our own rates. A self paced class is fine so what if we all don't finish at 18. Disability law says SE kids can stay in until 22.I think they move kids before the kid is ready. What America needs is a system that teaches to master the stuff not just pass the tests. Another fact is not all teachers keep parents informed on the formance of the kid. Our son in his last school was retaught at home cause when he came home didn't know how to do any of the stuff.Not happening anymore since going self contained. Little hw either. I agree 100% - the curriculum they have for these kids is ridiculous. My son is in a self contained class as well and doing much better. Some behavior issues so they are trying to push meds. He's happy and fulfilling his academic requirements - not giving him meds when I don't truly believe it's necessary to make the teacher's lives easier. I also demanded he start to be mainstreamed for science and social studies which he will start next week.My son is 9, is on an IEP since he walked into kindergarten. He attended a special preschool due to speech delay and sensory integration, which qualifies him for the IEP, even though the preschool denied him services (long story with the games they play). His medication has helped him tremendously, he is extremely intelligent, he just has ADHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHD! I was never lucky to get a note, teachers just find it an inconvenience. I was actually impressed with the short note even about what he ate!! You are luckier than I have been. I actually send my husband over in person if something needs to be discussed - they seem to fear the father's! If the teacher doesn't write to you, she may not have anything to inform you of, which is a blessing!! The other children do not receive notes daily as to what occurred, so your son is just like the class, which should be what you want. That to me is good. Is you want you could offer her emailing back and forth when needed.
I have experience in IEP's,how can I be of help to you and your son?
Just let me know!!
Take care,
Beth
That is fine she is continuing school but she is missing her responsibility as a teacher to communicate with the parents. I had that trouble last year where the teacher never communicated with me and my girl had started on meds and with no feedback it is hard. What someone told me and I did was if your child has an IEP add wanting a daily note how your child is doing for it if is written in a plan and they do not that is considered non-compliance and the school can get hit for that. If your child does not have an IEP write a letter to the CSE chairperson and request either screening or a meeting to get the ball rolling. The CSE (committee for special education) has 30 school days to respond to you and has 30 days and a meeting has to occur within 60 days of your request that is the law. I went to a few trainings on IEP's.
I had this problem last year with my sons Kindgarten teacher and we both agreed that the best way to handle it was to come in and volunteer whatever time I wanted to get first hand impression on how he was doing.
I have continued this in first grade and I find it does WONDERS as far as dealings with the teachers and staff. For instance, I could tell that he cannot wait until lunch for his second dose, so we have arranged for the nurse to call him up a little earlier.
It is also fun to meet and speak with all his classmates!
Just a thought!
It's not the teacher's business about the meds. I agree with you esmom. It is a good thing that you are communicating with his teacher not a bad thing. Most teachers, I think, would appreciate it. Good luckIF A CHILD GOT EC SHOULDN'T SCHOOL KNOW THE PROBLEM IS NOT ATTENTION AS A DEVELOPMENTAL DELAY WHICH IS WAY DIFFERENT THAN ADD OR ADHD. SHOULDN'T THAT MEAN THAT A DEVELOPMENTAL DISORDER IS MORE THE MAIN CAUSE FOR THE KID THAN THE ADD OR ADHD?I AM MEETING MOMS WHO AREN'T PUTTING THEIR BOYS IN K UNTIL AGE 6 FOR THIS REASON. I HEAR THEY ARE GLAD THEIR SON WAITED THAT YEAR. I HEAR BETTER CHOICE THAN REPEATING GRADES.
I have to vent. School started just two weeks ago. His kindergarden teacher did not get any background on him other than he attended summer school. She had no idea that he had to attend summer school because he refused to participate in the kindergarden screening. She had no idea that he had been in the early childhood program and we pulled him due to construction at the school. Now that she has been fully updated him his past. We decided to begin meds. I have been writing her a note every morning letting her know what we have seen with the meds. Asking her how his day was, etc. Well last week Friday I wrote a note with several questions and her note back was that she is too busy to write notes and that she will call me. I waited all weekend and heard nothing!!! We had noticed some problems over the weekend with his meds so we called the doctor first thing Monday morning. He changed the dose and the times that we give it. So I stopped in after school to let her know the changes and again she said she was too busy and would call me. So I ran home and waited by the phone for 4.5 hrs before she called. Turns out that she is working on her Master's Degree and is too busy doing her papers to call me.
So, it looks like it is going to be a long year of me needing to communicate with her and she is too busy working on her master's degree.
There are two other teachers but this classroom is in the new addition so there is very little hallway traffic and no lockers slamming to distract him.
Sorry for the long post but I had to vent!!!
Ditto for ouch. It sounds like it's time to have a talk with the principal. You can be polite, but yes, you need to take it there. It's good the teacher is getting her master's, but really, you don't care, right? Her job is her job. Your child does not have time to flounder b/c the teacher doesn't have time to do her job.
Darn, don't I sound snippy this morning! It's one of those days. But I successfully lobbied for my son to change K teachers b/c of the bad fit last year. So I understand your pain.
I had a situation with my son's kindergarten teacher last year. I tried to talk with her and got nowhere then went to the Principal and got nowhere. I finally went to the Superintendant and she got into trouble. Only problem is that because she was mad at me, she picked on my son for the remainder of the year. She benched him at recess, picked on him in the classroom, etc. The kids began to notice what she was doing and started picking on him as well and he had no friends all year long. He still hates school and I can't blame him after that experience. Now I'm not so sure I did the right thing!
Teachers should always be open to communication. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I'm an educator and get furious when I hear someone in my profession doesn't take the time to communicate.
I'm glad she finally wrote something. Keep doing what you are doing by asking her to participate and share her views. Hopefully she will see the benefits and do what your son and others need best.
IEP's are hard to get for ad/hd kids if they are academically doing well. They can be done though if ad/hd interferes with the learning taking place. Lillian seems to have some background with Special Educ. Hopefully she can add some insight to this question.
good luck... you could contact your school counselor for information on special educ. services and they should be able to connect you to the right dept. for questions concerning ad/hd and IEP's
Thanks for all of the advice. I don't agree with granny who said it's not the teacher's business about the meds. We have to work as a team so that he can learn to his full potenital.
As for the developmental delay. When he was in Early Childhood his dx by the school was significantly developmentally delayed. However, when he had him tested last fall he no longer qualified under that category. The only area he had a need in was attention. With the school being under construction (which totally distracted him) we pulled him from the program.
Now we have been dx'd by a doctor. I asked his teacher if an IEP or 504 plan was necessary. I also asked if I should report the doctor's dx to the special needs coordinator. She said no to both issues. She said that ADHD does not require an IEP and that she would inform the coordinator of the dx.
I did however get a short note home today. An improvement. It didn't say much as to how he reacted to the med change. It said listened well. Ate 1 taco and drank his milk for lunch.
It was a baby step and I will take even a baby step.
P.S does anyone have experience with IEP for ADHD kids?
[QUOTE=Cheesehead] It said listened well. Ate 1 taco and drank his milk for lunch.[/QUOTE]
??? That would of pissed me right off and I don't even get upset that easily. I shouldn't jump the gun - was his eating habits one of your concerns? Her comment is quite vague and doesn't explain anything about how well he did in his school work. Grrrrr...
I'm glad to hear that the teacher did send you a note finally. Hopefully that will continue.
If it doesn't, tell her outright that you appreciate the work involved in getting her Masters degree while working full time, but that your son's wellbeing must take precedence. Explain that she is the only person who can provide you with the info you need to be sure that the meds are helping your child and not hurting him.
I think that the fact that your son likes her and seems to be doing ok speaks volumes. She must be a caring teacher or the kids could tell. That should translate into her being the type of person who may be too busy to tell you when things are going well, but wouldn't hesitate to tell you if she did see something that wasn't right.
If you can foster a friendly relationship with her, just smiling and saying "hi, I hope you had a good day" and things like that, she will most likely be a little quicker to keep you informed also. People do tend to be more open with people they perceive as friends, even when they don't know them well.
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Esmom38985.505787037Thank you again for all the support. Most of my friends have children without special needs. Therefore, they don't understand why I get so hot under the collar about teacher issues. Anyway, my son had many medical issues when he was born and is VERY underweight for his age. We have been seeing a dietican for years and doing calorie boosting. So when the dr said the new meds could cause a lack of appettite my heart just sank. At 38 pounds we can't afford a lack of appettite. I did explain that most days his milk money would come back home and his juice box wasn't even opened. She said that she would try to monitor what he eats for lunch and at snack time.
Seeing that her classroom is located in the least distracted part of the school, and that he had other friends like him in her class. I am going to try and smile through the year, but I hope the communication gets better. I am not trying to be overbearing I am just trying to make his classroom time the best that it can be.
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Esmom38985.5060069444THATS RIGHT IT IS TIME TO SPEAK TO THE PRINCIPAL. DO IT KNOW DON'T WAIT. AS FOR NOT LETTING THE TEACHER KNOW ABOUT MEDS SHE SHOULD DEFINETLY KNOW, SHE IS WITH YOUR CHILD 8 HOURS OUT OF THE DAY 5 DAYS A WEEK SHE WILL BE ABLE TO TELL YOU IF SHE SEES A CHANGE. THERE SHOULD ALSO BE A DAILY LOG BOOK WHERE YOU ARE TOLD HOW YOU CHILD DID FOR THE DAY. I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING LAST YEAR WITH MY SONS TEACHER SEE DID NOT KNOW WHAT THE F--K SHE WAS DOING AND MY SON WASTED THE WHOLE YEAR OF 1ST GRADE. I WENT AS EVEN FAR AS HAVING A MEETING WITH THE PRINCIPAL AND THE OTHER MOTHERS IN THE CLASS AND WE ALL LET HER KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THE CLASS, JUST REMEBER THAT THEY ALL HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER THE PRINCIPAL NEVER GOES AGAINST THE TEACHER. THE PRINCIPAL WILL TELLL YOU SHE WILL ADDRESS THE MATTER WITH THE TEACHER BUT YOU MAKE SURE YOU KEEP ON TOP OF HER AND LET HER KNOW THAT YOU WANT SOME TYPE OF COMMUNICATION BETWEEN YOU AND HER FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.She may have mentioned what he ate for lunch, because so many parents are concerned about how little their children eat when on stimulants. Maybe she felt this was a Mom who would want to know?
It was an effort at least. Hopefully she will become a little more informative w/ time.
Cheesehead...The next time you can get the teacher to spare a moment or two, maybe you can suggest a pre-printed sheet (with questions that address your concerns) that she can do quicker than writing every day. Kind of like "Circle the answer that most applies" sort of thing?
I am one of those teachers that is working on a master's degree, but I find the time to inform parents of concerns that I have and respond to their concerns. One day last week I spent 1 1/2 hours after work making calls and e-mails with concerns that I had with about 15 of my 110 students. E-mail might be faster and easier for her. I know it is for me with my crazy schedule, but she needs to make the time. Instead of lagging on that, I just skip sleep. I have done many all nighters and then went to work, and most weekends I have at least one all nighter. I am excited because I finish in 2 1/2 weeks with my degree.
I am not sure what the circumstances are with her not having the information on your child, but it may not be her fault. Sometimes the school can do a poor job of giving info to the teachers. I know I spent 5 weeks begging for my IEPs this year. I finally got them last week, the 5th week of school. Half of the students I knew about them having an IEP because of the parents, but the others I did not realize were SPED. It just breaks my hearts that they had to go through that the first 5 weeks. I hope things improve for you and your child.