Looking for positive stories. | ADHD Information

My son is soon to be 16, and I know what you worry about and how upsetting it is that your son is struggling.  It gets better, and they can learn to behave eventually, and can learn to cope with the adhd over the longer term.  Nothing is an overnight fix, I tended to think longer term.  Raising him till about 12 years was a daily struggle and worry.  I found a good behavior management program that worked for us and kept at it.  The main thing was trying to keep our relationship strong at home.  After age 12 he was becoming less and less of a handful.  At almost 16 he's mostly a joy to be around.  He knows he needs meds to help him because he knows himself- he tells me "I get bored, I do stupid things, then get into trouble." He is a great kid and I'm glad I could remain as tough with negative behaviors as I did.  Being a good advocate was important, as well as keeping in touch with the school, so they knew I was working with them.  I know he will go to college and do okay.  He's an average student which is fine by me, I know he could do much better, but he's doing what he does and is passing.  This is great news for me.  Id say he is 2 to 3 years less mature than many boys his age but thats to be expected.  He is becoming more social and less shy with adults and other children.     Yes I would say he had a much more difficult life in school (gr. 2-8) not being accepted well by peers, and teachers.  Once high school came it was a different matter, and a much more positive experience for him.  He still is a bit of a loner but has his family to fill the void.  Good luck- its definitely a journey and can have very positive outcomes.

Hi,

My son is almost 18 and our story is much like momiss'.  He is ADHD, has LDs, dysgraphia and gifted.  In kdg the teacher said he marches to a different beat and was she ever right!  Yes it has been rough but I am so proud of him.  I bumped up an old story for you,look for jfla.  Here are two threads to read.

http://www.adhdnews.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=21207& KW=jfla2

http://www.adhdnews.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20159& KW=jfla2

Like most of our kids he has had it rougher than most of the other kids at school, but he became an excellent student and hard worker.  He will be applying to colleges soon and I am proud to say top schools have sent him information, but we are looking for one that will be a good fit for him personally.  He loves to compose and is writing a piece now which the orchestra will perform this fall.  He never ceases to amaze me.  Things that I wondered if he would ever be able to do, he does.  It just may take longer.    The road is a different one than most travel, but a lot more interesting.

jfla238980.558125

Hi everyone, we are very new to this whole process, in fact my 5 yo ds has not officially been diagnosed, although we have been seeing a psychotherapist to try to help him for some time.  He just started 4K and is having a terrible time - the school is going to work with us to have him evaluated, and I am seeing his ped tomorrow to discuss our next steps.

I feel so overwhelmed and sad.  I hate to see him struggle so much, and he is a wreck by the end of the day.  Last night he was very wound up, got very angry at bedtime, and when I finally got him to calm down he just laid in my arms and sobbed.  It was like all the frustrations of his day and the stress of trying to do what he needs to do is just too much for him.

Can you share with me some positive stories....I really need some reassurance that we can find him some help, and get our sweet loving smart little boy back.

 

Thank you for your stories and reassurance!!

My nephew has ADD and is now 15 - he sounds very similar to your children and my sister finds that he is very much a joy to be around now (most of the time anyway)

Lillian - you are so right.  M's passion for life and fun and the things he truly enjoys doing is amazing.  Once he finds his way to what it is that he wants to become, I have no doubt that he will give it every ounce of his being, and that he will be great.  We just need to help him channel that passion!!

What is an IEP?  I am so new to this!!

 

It absolutley gets better.  As with any disablility, our kids learn coping skills and little "tricks" and compensations.  It is much harder for them when they are young, but with your love and support, and good educators, your son with persevere and overcome.

In 3rd grade My son couldn't pack his back pack without my help.  I'd have to sneak into his classroom after school and straiten up his desk, it was so hard for him to manage.  Now in 5th grade, he comes home from school and does his homework with only a little structuring from me, (I think he likes the attention more than he needs the structuring), he stays 10 minutes after the class has been dismissed to reorganize his desk. 

OK! OK! So his room is a mess and his shoes are never tied and he almost got to the curb yesterday with only a tee shirt , sneakers and underware on!  He never ever remembers to flush and he usually misses the bowl anyway.  But I can't tell you how proud I am of him, doing so well in school and being such a good kid. 

My point is, not only do our kids get better, but we become better mommys, better women, better teachers.  And we love them aal the more for their faults.  We accept them and do what ever we can for them and pray that they marry a very organized, patient, attentive woman.

Mommysalami!  I love your screen name (I like cheesehead's too, I suppose that says something about me).  My ds is 13 and I'm already praying for his wife.  Whoever she is, she's going to have to have the patience of a saint!  I figure I'll start praying now, every little bit helps! 

dmid, it is so heartbreaking for me to watch my ds cry because he's so frustrated, but let me give you a little hope:  It gets better.  I have seen an enormous amount of growth and maturity happen in my ds just in the last summer alone.  We have also started using the Daytrana patch and have seen tremendous results.  If you consider meds, then ask about it.  There's a long thread on the medications board about it. 

Make sure you keep your discipline reliable and consistent.  I'll bump up the marble thread.  It's a great way to motivate your ADHD kid and many members have used it with good results. Be tough on negative behavior and maintain very clear boundaries.  These kids thrive on structure.  Remember that while you're being tough on him, be merciful, too.  I have bent rules and curtailed punishments for my ds when I thought it was necessary. 

Ds was at boy scouts the other night and they were planning a camping trip.  Somebody asked if couldn't they do food prep before the trip.  The leader said no, the moms would be softies and help and the boys have to do this themselves.  Dh, who's an assistant scout leader, said "not Susie!"  Pat said "Yeah, mom's favorite sayings are 'Suck it up and move on!' and 'You'll live!' "  I'm a harda$$ on my son and he loves me for it!

This is long and I apologize but I love talking about my ds.   I'm so proud of the progress he's made and I'm holding him out as an example of the success ADD/ADHD kids can have.  Welcome to the board, dmid!
Here's a link to a recent thread that discusses IEPs somewhat.  

http://www.adhdnews.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22346& PN=1

I think my boy is a positive story.  He came to live with us as a foster child 4 1/2 years ago, and he was bouncing off the walls, a true wild child.  Today, he is thirteen and doing great! 

My advice is to keep your perspective.  Enjoy the positive things about ADHD--enthusiasm, energy, sense of adventure, sense of humor, sparkling eyes, a desire to lead, a huge heart for people and animals in need.  Don't let problems at school rule your home.  Make your home his "safe place to fall" and let him spend time at home pursuing activities he enjoys.  The activities will boost his self esteem and help him realize that school is school, which may be a place where he has difficulties, but it's not his entire life.  It sounds like you are putting an IEP in place?  Make sure the IEP focuses on his strengths, as well as remediating his weaknesses.  Try to use the IEP to give him a chance to shine, as well as helping him where he needs help. 

It will get better.  There are many famous, successful people with ADHD, who have used their ADHD in a positive, constructive way.  Hang in there and believe  .