help with grandson | ADHD Information

I can understand why you did it, but no...... I think denying a scout meeting is not a good choice of consequence.  Think about it..... you are denying him an experience that is CRUCIAL to most ADHD  children..... time to socialize, learn, and be with others.  Taking that from him is like that old saying.....cutting your nose off to spite your face.   Try to link the consequence more closely to the crime.  Pick the top most problematic issues with your grandson and sit him down and come up with an crime/consequence plan he understands, then stick to it.  Don't put unreasonable punishments in....like grounded for 2 weeks because of one lying incident.

Okiemom

okiemom38981.2904050926thank you all so much for your help.  I guess i knew deep down that keeping him from boyscouts wasn't appropriate.  This is all new to me, I raised 3 kids, but I didn't have these kinds of problems.   I just need to learn as much as I can.  Thanks for your help. 

I would not use the Cub Scouts as a punishment  because he could actually learn some of the  cub scout core values that could carry over to the class room.  Your son will have to learn the requirement for the bobcat badge which is basically the cub scout pledge, motto, way of the pack.  Respecting teachers/leaders is a big part of this way of the pack.

I agree with INaBox about the consequences matching the "crime" as well as the great need for positive reinforcement. We had gotten to a point of taking everything away from our daughter for not getting het school and homework done and she just became defiant, depressed and anxious. We then started a positive reinforcement program that rewarded her for the proper behavior and she got better about the work (it was still very hard to do but she did it). We then converted the school program to Ogram's marble system over the summer and got good results.

This was all before starting meds. It is good to see how far you can get with behaviour modification, school accomodations etc. then see if meds are needed. If you have to start meds later, you will also better know how much the meds are adding to the treatment and not be second guessing yourself. For my daughter, these things helped with the behavior but not academically so now we are optimizing the meds for this aspect of her difficulties.

Welcome to the ADHD journey.

AS A LEADER i AGREE. i WISH SCOUTING/MILITARY WERE MANDITORY IN THE US. SON HAS LEARNED ALOT IN THIS ORG. SCOUTS IS BASED OFF THE  MILITARY  THE MAN WHO STARTED BS WAS A MILITARY MAN. HIS NAME WAS COLLEN POWELL.

BOYSCOUTS.ORG WILL SHOW WHAT IS TAUGHT AT EACH LEVEL.

[QUOTE=joemom]

I would not use the Cub Scouts as a punishment 
because he could actually learn some of the  cub scout core values
that could carry over to the class room.  Your son will have to learn the
requirement for the bobcat badge which is basically the cub scout pledge,
motto, way of the pack.  Respecting teachers/leaders is a big part of this
way of the pack.

[/QUOTE]
dittoMy grandson has ADHD, he is now living with us.  This is all so new to me, however, I am learning quickly.  We enrolled him in cubscouts, last Monday he wore his uniform to school and was really excited about going.  Well during the day monday he called his special ed teacher a liar and tried to run out of class.  We did not let him go to scouts that evening.  Do ya'll feel this is appropriate punishment.  I get so confused sometimes because he has social issues with his ADHD and i need to have consequences for him, however, soemtimes those consequences mean he sits at home.  So is he learning from this or not???  Right now he is on NO  meciation, we are having to wait for his mother to get all the medical information straight.  This message board has been a lifesaver for me....thanks to all of you. 

What does Cubscouts have anything to do with calling his school teacher a liar? I think children with ADHD in particular need as much positives as possible.  Cubscouts may be a great opportunity for him so I would encourage that as much as possible. He may need that extra outlet.  Try and have the consequence relate to the problem at hand. For example, instead of taking away Cubscouts, have him write an apology to his teacher.

It sounds as if he needs some intervention. I would look to see if you can get him an IEP or 504 to help with some of his school issues. Talk with his teacher and see what she suggests. I wouldn't worry about medicating him at this point. Check out the alternatives board for starters. There are plenty of things you can do to help him (ie: diet, supplements, IEP/504, exercise..etc).

I give you credit for taking your grandson in. Hugs to you!