"I don’t want to!" | ADHD Information

I really appreciate all the advice.  I called the school office the other day about the IEP and the lady I spoke to was sort of rude and I was pretty put out by her.  She pretty much said that an IEP was a last resort that there are other things to try first and to talk to my son's teacher.  I felt like saying "SO SORRY TO BOTHER YOU"!  I did email my son's teacher.  I just feel like I am yelling every school night and that he is really starting to get on the teachers nerves because he keeps acting like a "baby".  I just feel horrible for him and for me because I cannot help him stop acting like this.  I don't know if the ADHD is what causes this type of behavior.  I think that I am just not good for him sometimes.I think it's called learned helplessness.Where I am you write a letter to the CSE which is the Committeee on Special Education and request one is needed.  The board has by law 30 school days to respond to you and set up a meeting or screening and have a meeting with you by the 60th day of your request.  this is by law.  Good luck JillMy daughter is the same way with the whining and the I cant etc. But I know she can because she scored in the 98th percentile on standardized exams. Homework absolutely drives me mad. She spends 75% of her time whining crying and complaining. In class when she is medicated she is fine and capable. Last night she sat down and did her homework without complaining and I was floored. If only that were the rule and not the exception.

We have pretty good insurance and our neuropsych eval was completely covered.  So don't necessarily rule out insurance coverage!

As to homework, we had the same situation.  10 minutes worth of homework = two hours of nagging and screaming at home.  Something is going on with him.  Get him evaluated so you at least know how to deal with it!

Getting the ball rolling at school with evaluations takes a loooooong time.  I urge you to get him privately evaluated also!   I wish I would have.  I would have a lot less grey hair now!

My ds will be nine in december and these are his favorite words.  I am so tired of him saying "I don't want to" or "I can't" or "this is too hard" or "I need help".  He is a big cry baby.  It has gotten so bad that yesterday the principal of the school called because ds made a 48 on his six-weeks benchmark math test.  He said that ds refused to use his strategies and wanted the teacher to help him with all of them because he "CAN'T" do it.  Math is one of his better subjects.  The teacher sent him to second grade and he made a 75 on that test and still did not use his strategies!  We spent almost two hours doing homework.  The principal said that he is acting like a baby.  He does it at home all the time.  WHINES like crazy.  I don't know what to do.  He is driving me nuts.  He is going to end up back in second grade.  We keep reinforcing the "You can do this, you are smart" phrase and its like he doesn't care.  If anyone has any tips I would appreciate them.Talk to your principal and he/she will hook you up with the right person in the system to help you.  In different places they're called different titles.  Ours are called "resource teachers."  These are the teachers who deal with the special ed kids.  That's probably the place to start.  Your resource teacher (or whatever they call him/her) will then contact the district and get the ball rolling.  Can you afford a private eval?  They can be much more thorough.  Also have you tried the marble system?  I'll bump it for you. It stands for Individualized Education plan.  It considers all of a child's challenges or disabilities and sets up stratagies for working with them to achieve success.  In order to get one a child needs to be evaluated.  The school can do that (takes a long time to get in and is not always the most comprehensive eval) or you can take him to a neuropsychologist and get him evaluated.  That's what we did and she not only found the ADD but she also dxed dysgraphia, which is probably the bigger of the two challenges my ds faces now.  My ds would often cry when presented with tasks he felt he couldn't do.  After we had him dxed and could put stratagies in place to help, he improved. 

Ds has accomodations that allow him to mark in his booklet on standardized tests, allow him the use of assistive technology, allow him locker breaks after every class, allow him to carry his backpack to classes (this isn't generally permitted in his school).  An eval at a private neuro-psych is expensive and usually isn't covered by insurance.  I was able to make payments.  If I hadn't been able to do that, I probably would've put it on my credit card.  I've put car repairs on my credit card, why not kid repairs?

These accomodations don't guarantee success because our kids don't always use the tools they have available to them.  That's the most frustrating thing and the litany at our house is "Use your tools!"  I have seen my ds get better at this, although he's still not perfect.  Whenever I want to get something through to him I repeat and repeat it.  That's the way my kid learns.  I hope this helps!
Who at the school would I need to talk to?

Hi.  Wow, that would get on my nerves too.  Have you had him evaluated for his learning abilities?  Maybe he has something going on that makes it really hard for him?  Maybe he isn't just misbehaving and being lazy, maybe he really is having a hard time learning it.  You could have the school do an evaluation, but having been through that process(very slow, not thorough enough), I would recommend doing it privately with a neuropsychologist.

Maybe you could get him a tutor, also.  I've been there with the homework battles, and I'm not doing it anymore.  It's not worth it.  Perhaps you could ask the teacher to give him half the homework.  2 hours is pure torture after a full day of school. 

In my situation last year (1st grade) my dd would come home and have no idea how to do her homework.  It was like I had to reteach her daily.  Very frustrating to say the least.  We eventually got her an IEP, got her help in the classroom to make sure she understood the homework assignments, got her on meds for ADHD so she could listen, and the situation improved dramatically for her and us.

The sad thing is it is not two hours worth of homework.  His whining makes it that long.  I honestly think that he can do the work.  When he does homework he usually does fine with it.  He does it, I check it, he corrects his answers.  He has even made comments that he will make a zero and that is fine with him.  As long as he can go play.  He is medicated, we are doing a trial with the daytrana patch.  Can you tell me what an IEP is?