It is hard being a mom as far as meds. I was so against meds. when I first found out in 2004 due to fears and things all over the intronet. I later learned that they were not as bad as I thought they were we tried them last year and they really changed my child and helped her. If you are concerned about meds there is also our alternative board where families are using natural supplements to help and found some success.
Welcome to the board and go for the IEP for help.
New to this forum so forgive any oversights... My son will be six in November and has just started Kindergarten. He has been 'active' since birth. Walked and talked at 10 months and hasn't stopped either since. NEVER sits, always fidgets, talks, squirms, etc. Used to joke (not so funny now) that I saw Ritalin in our future. Have 2 nephews on my husbands side that are now 11 & 14. Both have ADHD and medicated (with adverse effects) for it. Even at that, I chose to believe that proprer (not overly strict or punitive) disciple was the difference. They ran wild - and I do mean WILD - with a 'boys will be boys' attitude from their parents. My son (and his siblings) have always have clearly defined boundaries set for what and where various behavior is allowed. Even took him to a behavior specialist before he was three because he would always argue that he 'wanted' to do other than what we wanted. I'd find myself raising my voice in a screaming match with a 3 year old. (He is very bright, very good vocabulary and can hold his own with most adults. That's the problem...he thinks he's an adult) The specialist led me to a book called 1-2-3 Magic and it was...until about a year ago.
The rages were swift, often and exhausting for both of us. They only involved doors, walls or objects - throwing, slamming, screaching. He'd throw himself at me and/or pull on my arms. Due to insurance change saw another behavior specialist. Hated him! DXd ADHD & ODD (which I do now agree with) but wouldn't listen to any concern or question I had, just gave me a script for Ritalin and told us to come back in 2 weeks. Held on to th script for 6 months or so until he took a swing at his Pre-K teacher. Went back to original specialist and tried 2 different meds over the summer with really crappy results on extremely low dosages (Ritalin - clingy, MORE talkative, though I'd have guessed this wasn't possible, became a loner, clung to me, became an excessive worrier,...) (Adderall - most of the above but add weepy to the mix) Stopped all meds about mid-summer and his behavior actually improved - still very active, which I didn't see as a problem at home in the summer, and very few rages - usually mild.
Informed the school councellor and his teacher that he was an un-medicated ADHD, they said fine they'd watch him and weren't eager to medicate either. Asked his teacher during Open House last week if she was still anti-meds. Though we didn't really have time to talk then, she did let me know that we may have to re-think that. She said it wasn't overly serious and she'd call me in a couple of weeks after she got to know him better. Though I found myself disappointed, I'm wasn't shocked or stricken.
Recieved a call at work on Friday from his principal. On Thursday, he punched another little boy in the stomach while on the bus - TWICE! Once going to school and once on the way home. And this other boy and my son both claim they're best friends!
I don't want my son to be the bully, the kid nobody wants to play with, that has a reputation with the teachers before he gets to their classroom...I want everyone to see and know the "good", bright, funny, smart, well-mannered boy he is 99% of the time.
I'm sorry this is so very long, but ANY advice offered would be very much appreciated. Feel so alone and that whatever I do is either not enough or will just mess him and his future up even more. Can't stop crying...
Oh my God!
I know exactly how you feel (crying as I respond). I am so terrified that he will be labled as a trouble maker and he is only 6 years old. I want to be able to do whatever it takes to help him. I am so afraid of the medications that are out there. My son's appetite has not been the same since he started on his medication. I also have other issues with family members not seeing his ADHD as a real problem. They have this "he'll grow out of it" attitude. I am trying desperatly to get him all of the help I can and don't feel like I or he is getting the support he should from his family. I am very new to this, so I don't have much advice for you. Just know that you and you baby are not alone, and that he is still the beautiful boy you see 99% of the time the other 1%.
Thank you...needed to hear that. The behavior specialist we're seeing is someone I like a lot and actually listens to me. I did place a call to him on Friday evening, waiting for a reply. (And I also started my son back on his Adderall - only 5 mg today, 7.5 tomorrow and that's when the side effects kicked in last time.) The Dr. also suggested a course of behavior counselling once we get my son's meds right and he can get past the impulsive behavior that is currently working against any behavior modification strategies we try. It will involve all three of us (son, husband and me) but be more for the parents on how to deal without loosing our minds or beating him senseless - which does seem tempting at times. I like that idea a lot, but waiting to find the right med & dosage first is proving to be a real nightmare for all of us.
That would be my only suggection to you - find a Dr. who hears you and who sees your child, not just the DX. Good luck!
Just wanted to wish you luck on this journey. You will find alot of help here.has he got an IEP???My son is only 4 but has had one since last year and it did help at nursery.
we do behavorial therapy,play therapy,massage therapy and homeopathy,unfortunately with not much results from massage therapy and homeopathy.
i stopped work and always avoid to get him into situations where i know he will get overstimulated,the bus would be one of them.we do a lot of things with him to get him to burn his energy and do playdates with only one child 30 mns at the time.hopefully you will find a solution for you.hope you will find the right med for him,try the meds board to see comments about each one,my son is not medicated (too young)but i am on concerta and it is not too bad on side effects(only loss of appettite for a while)
Hi and welcome. You'll find a lot of good information here. I fear you are dealing with something other than ADHD here. If I were you, I'd go get a complete evaluation done at a Children's Hospital, where they have a psychiatrist and neuropsychological testing done. Leave no stone unturned. The earlier you find out what you are really dealing with, the better outcome for your son. The rages, and the adverse reaction to stimulants are red flags for some type of mood disorder. As for yourself, you need to read, read, read and really educate yourself. Read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. Maybe you could read The Bipolar Child and see if anything in there rings a bell with you.
Also, you may want to think about getting your school to do an evaluation in order to see if he qualifies for any services. It takes a long time from the time you request an evaluation to the time they actually do an evaluation--I believe they have 60 school days.
Another thing: sometimes it takes several trials to find the right medication. Don't give up if the meds aren't working. Try something else. My dd did horribly on Concerta, but fantastic on Ritalin LA. She turned into a depressed loner on one med, but bright and social on another--they're both methylphenidate, so why the difference? Who knows?? It's a roller coaster, as you have already seen, but don't give up!
Let us know how it goes!
You might check out the Alternative and Complimentary Meds section of this board..... some of us use supplements and/or other methods that help. Welcome to the board -- I am sorry you are struggling! I strongly suspect you are looking at more than ADHD (and ODD is not a helpful dx because it describes a set of behaviors that can come from many disorders. Think of ODD as a symptom rather than a dx unto itself). Rages of the nature you posted about are more indicative of mood issues (anxiety, depression, mood disorder like bipolar) or autistic spectrum disorder. I don't know what kind of doctor a behaivoral specialist is, but if your son hasn't been evaluated by a board-certified child psychiatrist, I'd get him to one ASAP. And he should also have an evaluation by a neuropsychologist, found at children's and university hospitals. If he's having mood-related side effects to low doses of stimulants, it's likely you're not going to find the right ADHD med because you should be looking into other disorders. I know of what I speak -- my 13-year-old son's first dx was ADHD and anxiety. After many trials of meds, he is now being treated (successfully) for bipolar disorder. I wish you luck. SmallMom38984.822025463IEP stands for Individual Educational Plan. The parent requests the school to evaluate the child, and if a disability is found, the school is required to come up with a plan that meets the individual needs of the child so he can succeed in a school environment. Check out www.wrightslaw.com for more info.
Several have mentioned and IEP test. I appologize for my ignorance, but what is that. My Dr. has only done verbal and written testing on my son. This is all so new to me that I feel I am lost in some of the lingo. I have recieved so much wonderful advice from posters and have a list of questions for my son's Dr. for his next appointment next week. Thank you all.
sorry,us oldtimers forgets about newbies not knowing the lingo yet.
my son has a teacher just for him who helps him cope at nursery and he is followed by an educational psychologist who watches him interacting with other kids.
i am in scotland thought it could be different for you.
[QUOTE=Gilda]Several have mentioned and IEP test. I appologize for my ignorance, but what is that. My Dr. has only done verbal and written testing on my son. This is all so new to me that I feel I am lost in some of the lingo. I have recieved so much wonderful advice from posters and have a list of questions for my son's Dr. for his next appointment next week. Thank you all.
[/QUOTE]
I still get lost in some of it too lol so don't worry,
Individual Education Plan - IEP
Take Care
Louise
LMSKJ38985.3521180556Thank you so much for the info (and hope). Will look into an IEP at school and question his Dr. about possible other/correct Dx. Also hit the library and other web sites to see if there is a better fit for his symptoms/reactions. Will keep in touch. My son had an IEP when he was in Early Childhood. I forget exactly what it stands for but I believe it is "Indivialized Evaluation Plan" This is something that the school does. They will test him and then when the testing is complete they put together the IEP. This is a set of goals that they set for your son to work towards in school and it also spells out what type of services, they will use to obtain that goal. I feel what you are going through as what you wrote almost mirrors what I am going through with my 7-year-old son. He is currently receiving special education services in school and is doing okay but I don't go through 1 week without receiving a call that he got into some kind of trouble. He's also been to a behavior modification specialist and he as well as the Neurologist is suggesting medication. After working in the pharmaceutical industry for 17 years, I am very aware of the devastating side effects medications can cause and will not give him stimulants due to the lack of data on long-term effects. I don't like the idea that he is in a contained classroom with only 4 other children that are physically handicapped but this is the only way he is learning so I have made the choice to keep him there for now. Keep me posted!