what to do | ADHD Information

sometimes i don't know how to handle the fits.  right now my grandson is laying on the floor crying over some homework.  Now it has gone past the homework and he is just laying here crying and having a fit.  How do you handle these things.  I am trying to teach him that negative behavior will not get him attention, so i am ignoring him.  I tried to reason with him and nothing seemed to work. Stay calm.  Unfortunately too often when we get to this point, I have usually lost it too.  I think ignoring it is the best thing to do.  Maybe tell him that when he calms down you two can talk about it.  This honestly never works with Brandon.  I usually go outside smoke a cigarette (yuck) and then go inside and he is still crying and screaming.  Eventually he will calm down and apologize.  I am so sorry that you are going thru this, it is so hard, I know.  We are all here for you.  There is light at the end of the tunnel..............................................I've found that once my son gets past the initial anger and frustration that he calms much faster if I sit with him.  He doesn't usually let me hug him (he's too cool) but I'll rub his back.  If he's not over the anger part though he will lash out at me and get more upset.  I've just learned when the right time to step in is from experience.  Also, if I can tell he's nearly done I might say something like "You better not smile- there'll be none of that in this house!"  And he'll crack up.  Get him to laugh really helps.   My suggestion would be to break it down into smaller tasks and give him frequent breaks. If it is math, you need to find out what kind of learner he is. If he needs things to help him, give him pennies or try telling him to put the first (usually the largest) number in his head (so to speak) and go from there. I hope that helps.

I also found (in addition to leaving her alone) that if I prased her for calming herself down after ward, the fits would last for shorter and shorter periods. She got to where when she gets angry, I tell her I will be back to help her with her homework when she is calm; and she immediately calms down and is ready to go. This is soooo much better than the slamming doors and thrown toys and books. We also set up a homework plan. She picks what she will do first and has set breaks after each set of work.

Hopefully you will find meds that will work with the focus and other problems so the homework is not so overwhelming for him. We are now working with guanfacine and concerta and school/homework is getting easier for her. We still have some work to do with the meds though.

vickie38987.4094444444

Mlillie...... he's just trying to "up the ante" with his remark about not going to school tomorrow.  Ignore that. Don't argue back.  Stay calm and keep ignoring.  Leave the room if possible.  

Medication may help.  Hopefully his medical situation will be worked out and you can start some treatment.

Okiemom

Your doing the right thing.  Ignore it and let him work on his self calming skills.  It's a lot easier to do it with a fit at home, than in public.  Do not feed him the attention he is seeking. Do not react, yell, plead, beg, threat, etc...to get him to do the assignment.  If he is on overload with the assignment, just send the teacher a note/email that he tried, but became overwhelmed.

Is your son on medications?  If he is, you might consider an afternoon booster dose that is carefully timed to cover homework time, but not so much it affects bedtime.

Okiemom

One other thing...... you might want to write down in a journal, every time he has a fit over homework.  Try to see if there is a pattern.  Is it every night?  Same time every night?  Only when he is asked to do math?  Only with spelling?  Only with writing?  Is it with ALL assignments? 

Also..... do everything you can to organize the assignment to help guide him starting it.  Number the pages for him.  Put the title on the paper if its not a worksheet.  Organize all the materials he'll need.  Let him lay on the floor if he wants.  Let him stand if he wants.  Lot's of ADHD kids have to do homework in "non-traditional" ways. 

Okiemom

okiemom38986.6559953704he is not on medication.  He only recently came to live with us and we are waiting for his mother to get his information and his medicaid so we can get him to a dr.  He normally does his homework pretty good, but today is awful, he is still crying and just yelled that he is not going to school tomorrow.  That was some great advice Okiemom.  We just now had the best two days of homework EVER.  THank you daytrana!!I feel your pain for mine lately doing homework is a struggle.  Did something happen in school why he does not want to go?  Try talking to him.  As for just getting the work done take away privilages or tell him when your homework is done we can watch tv or do something he likes.  Good luck Jill