Hi,
My heart goes out to you and your son. My son was diagnosed with ADHD late last year. I think my husband and I knew it for a long time before. I have posted here before, that I refused to medicate him because he was doing so well in school that I thought meds were not necessary. I never explored the social componant and how that affected his self-esteem. It hit my husband and I on the head and we realized that he was going downhill in his mental health. Very sad. So, I don't know if meds are in your future but please don't be afraid. If the professionals told you he was depressed would you withhold meds? Probably not, we are much more accepting of antidepressants but they also carry risks. Please keep an open mind and you must be a great mom because you are exploring all the avenues to help your child.
Good luck
Thank you for your responses. I have been very overwhelmed, being a single mom and with no support from school, family, or my ex-husband. I am very grateful for your shared experiences. I do feel many feelings regarding this issue. Guilt, fear, deep sadness, anger,...etc. Also, I don't think most people are educated regarding this diagnosis at all. Many people (even my friends) when the dx is mentioned roll their eyes, and just say things like: he will grow out of it (which is stupid now that he is fourteen and doesn't seem to be growing out of it "none" too soon), or kids are just mean, he is simply a sensitive kid, with regards to his lack of social skills. Yes, I do think it is widely overdiagnosed, but I know my son "fits" all of the classic s/s. There are so many things to explain. My brother was injured by a med. He took Accutane as an adolescent for painful/disfiguring cystic acne and became severly depressed and then suicidal. Drugs especially powerful drugs frighten the "hell" out of me. I started to research them, and became more afraid. Then, when I was just about to succumb to trying the med., I came across a Tai Kwon Do school who had a rep for helping children with self-esteem issues, especially ADHD children without meds. It was in the paper. I sent him (and wasted more time) and found no change in him. I will be getting a full eval. of him this week, and I will look at the option again. Give me strength!!! Thanks again. P.S. I love my son. I want to do what's best for him.You did not mention whether or not your son is medicated. My son is younger, only 9, however, he has been on medication since the age of 6 (end of first grade). He had a horrible time of it socially and it broke my heart. It took us over a year to get the right brand of medication, as well as the right dosage. He sees a psychopharmacologist who works the meds. with us. He is doing better, however, your comment about social cues is very common of adhd'ers, and of aspbergers kids. You definetly need to have a complete evaluation done on your son and need to start medications, your saving his life, which is what I feel that I have done! I also put my son into activities that he was good at for his self esteem, like chess lessons for example. He excelled and it made him feel good about himself. Don't be afraid to google Ty Pennington, the host of extreme home makeovers, he has adhd and really talks about what he went through, and how medication helped him. He said on a show i saw that with adhd comes depression, they have the hyper ups,but also the downs, it is part of it. But remember this, look how successful Ty is, as well as the owner of the Jet Blue airline, he also has adhd!! Your son has a future, he just needs a little help from you right now. You are so awesome to always talk with him, I do the same with mine. I think it is great that he does talk and doesn't hold it in! You are blessed. Please keep us informed with your posts - remember he needs a complete psychological evaluation from a qualified professional. By the way, how are his grades, you didn't mention school work, my son is on an IEP we have speech delays and sensory integration as well.
I hope I am of some reassurance!! It is a tough battle, but my son is so worth it, like I think you feel about your's!
Hang in there,
Beth
Hi Noreen,
So sorry you and your son are having such a hard time. I suggest you look into finding a social skills class or group...ask at school or the special ed dept of you district. Another place to look for such a group is through an occupational therapist...the OT my son goes to has several groups for various age levels ( we are not it one at the time but I know it is an option if I need it later) another suggestion is to get him into a group that supports his favorite hobby or pasttime boy scouts is an option if you talk to the the leader first and monitor him there until you are sure it is a good group.
Hang in there