Hang in there Beckysmom and stick to your guns. Ignore your family. Seriously... if they butt in and make this into a huge issue...distance yourself from them. Your child deserves and needs help. A medication trial may be very helpful. You never know unless you try.
Please remember, however, that a medication trial can be tricky. Success depends on how well and closely the prescribing doctor manages it. What type of doctor will be doing the trial? He/She will really need to micromanage doses, etc.... to find the right one. If a doctor slaps a script for Ritalin into your hands and tells you "See ya in a month.." run for the hills! My son's doctor required me to work closely with the teacher with a form where she documented DAILY the major behavioral observations like focus, distractibility, finishes work, cooperation, etc. For that first trial....I was in his office WEEKLY discussing reports and doseage adjustments. After about 4 wks, we went to twice a month, then monthly. Even now, my son is 13, and he still has monthly visits with his psychiatrist to discuss meds, doses, etc.
You reached your "crossroads to medicate"a lot earlier than me. We didn't start on stimulants until 5th grade, although we had to start on an antidepressant for anxiety in 4th grade. In hindsight, I should have medicated much earlier, but I was listening to all the crap from my family, media, etc. Don't do that.
Finally....remember...all the scientific studies show that ADHD children who are not treated, have a far, far greater risk of developing drug/alchohol problems in the teen years than those ADHD kids who ARE treated. Throw that statistic out to your mom the next time she makes a ridiculous statement to you like the one she made. Okiemom
1st grade is not going well. Worse than Kindergarten. Notes almost every day, two phone calls so far. She either refuses to finish her classwork or runs out of time. She is easily frustrated and has had several emotional days. She has decided to attach herself to any child that shows even the slightest "wild streak", if you will. She has great difficulty staying in her seat and working quietly. I have actually made these two cards for her to use in school. One has a picture of a girl raising her hand and one has a picture of three children sitting in their seats, quietly doing their work. "Reminder cards" I call them. The first week went ok but now she refuses to bring them to school. She says they don't help. We have tried reward charts at home with minimal success. Her teacher also does similar programs and has seen very little success with them so far. I pulled her from soccer because she was just too much for the other kids and the coach plus she wanted to sit on the sidelines and chat with the younger kids for the entire game. We are now doing girl scouts at home - even a small group of girls was too much for her.
I have reached the end of the line. I am now at a cross roads. To medicate or not to medicate. We have an appt. to see the pediatrician today. I'm willing to give it a try. A trial run if you will, to see what kind of success we have, if any. I am worried about side effects and heart problems. I'm going to bring those things up to the doctor today.
My family is freaking out. "Your going to cause serious damage to your kids system!", etc. I think I have heard it all from them. My mom doesn't know - she would freak out on me big time. She is 70, very old school.
Bottom line is Becky is suffering and I know that. She is becoming very disenchanted with school. And we are in a screaming match every day. It's deteriorating our relationship. She also has very few friends because most kids can not handle her intensity and emotional outbursts. I can't wait to get away from my own child to get a little peace and that is sad.
Any advice, encouragement, etc. would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!
Beckysmom38987.4668287037Nate is in 1st grade this year, we are lucky that in our school district they have transitional first grade, this is for young birthdate children. He is a June baby, so last year he was in that, small class 12 kids, 10 boys 2 girls. I think 5 of the boys are ADHD. We made it to the end of the year before we ended up at the nero, after watching him suffer and trying not to medicate.. we are on our third med and will probably change end of the week.. But, he is in 1st grade and is able to concentrate at school, but, still has the behavior issues.. counseling for that.. Nate also has que cards on his desk.. a thinking one versers reacting, and abc stands for aware, breath, calm.. none of the other kids seem to notice.. as his teach points to his desk and he looks at it when needed.. we also got an IEP for him this week as well.. Because we have a written diagnosis in his file the school has to accomadate for him.. As others have said you have to do what is best for your child. Read all the info you can on the drugs. I am lucky my sister is a pharmacists and has educated me on a lot of the meds that are out there.
Beckysmom,
My son started third grade this year, and your story echos ours up to the last four months of second grade. I pulled him out of school and homeschooled because he was having such a hard time. I was terrified of trying the meds and I had all these people in my ear telling me,"He's just really smart and bored in school","That stuff will atrophy his brain", "You just don't know what it will do." And I believed it all and I thought I would never give him the meds. But after homeschooling, I saw first hand just how hard it is for him to maintain a task. He is very bright, recently testing into 7th grade reading and early sixth grade math, but if he can't keep on track, what good does it do him? We decided to try, and started with Adderall XR. Not good. We switched to Focalin XR, and he's so happy and successful at school now! He plays with a great group of friends, does his work without my screaming at him, and says he loves school now. We are watching him closely and have his heart and blood pressure checked by his ped. If anything starts to go wrong, we will definately stop the meds. But this boost in his confidence and his happiness at school are so rewarding, I'm glad we took the chance. Good luck to you, it's a wrenching decision.
Last year was the worst for my daughter. We fought constantly, she became deffiant, depressed and anxious. She was so frustrated she would talk about wanting to die. When we got the ADHD diagnosis with all of this I educated myself on the disorder and the treatment options. We have an IEP in place (she has learning disorders diagnosed before the ADHD) to reduce her written work, we are doing a positive reinforcement behavior modification program (Ogram's marble system; on a different thread) and have started guanfacine and concerta. We have had a much better time with school so far, but are still working on the correct concerta dose (she is not hyper in school, but is more innatentive and shuts down so is hard to know when we have the right dose). I am much more positive about her chances this year; and she is happier and is participating in school much more. There are very few disagreements with homework, no rages and no running away to avoid school. We need more help with staying on task for homework, which compared to the other issues we had last year...we have time to take care of these issues; they are not as scarry as what we faced last year.
Hang in there and keep reading the board. As you start the meds you will need to know what to expect and then how to work with the doctor to optimize them for the individual needs. A child psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD will have the most experience on med posibilities and tayloring to an individual's needs. One thing that really got me was the odds of later substance abuse, pregnancy, school failure etc. for unmedicated ADHD. I felt I was letting my little girl down.
Our son does Neuroscience inc. products. Call and ask them for someone who does these tests in your area. This will tell you what you are dealing with by testing the transmitters. The test is 190.urine done at home. Results sent to the dr. Then give you the products to do. All Natural. This was done at a Allergie clinic. babygonz what are you using for adhd/anxiety?
Hi,
Of course it is scary to put a child on medication. Just remember their mental health and their self esteem is VERY important. I think my sister went undiagnosed for such a large part of her life that her self esteem could not be recovered by the time she received help. These children do have very real problems that are sometimes relieved without medication and sometimes medication is the answer. Don't let everyone scare you about the risks of the medications. Have you ever read the insert in birth control pills?? That's scary but millions and millions of women use them with little or no side effects. All drugs have side effects for some people. Please don't feel bad for trying medication if the doctor thinks it can work. It really is a lifesaver for some children.
Regarding your family's comments like "Your going to cause serious damage to your kids system!", without drugs you may be damaging your child's mental health. It really is hard to be in trouble all the time and not feel sucessful, it does damage the child's self esteem. Good luck and if you decide to medicate be selective of who you tell.
You are where I was not too long ago. Like you, I resisted drugs but - bottom line - my child was suffering daily. There is no right answer; all I can tell you is that for us, the meds made a world of difference. We are still working on the kinks, finding the right kind and dosage but my daughter has seen the light at the end of the tunnel and that's done a world of good for her academically and emtionally. She's happier and less frustrated and said to me just the other day, "Mom, I haven't lost ANY friends this year!" It was heartbreaking and yet uplifting all at once.
Hi Becky,
My son is in first grade as well but in a self-contained classroom with a special ed teacher. He can't function in a regular classroom as he is overwhelmed by the amount of kids and gets distracted. He has some behavior issues here and there, mostly silliness but the teacher handles him well and he is doing pretty good. Socially he suffers because the other kids find him to be annoying so I have him in soccer and cub scouts but he does the same thing. Will run off the soccer field if he doesn't feel like playing and won't pay any attention in his pac meetings for cub scouts. It is extremely frustrating and there are days when I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs (and sometimes I do). I have the same kind of parents who can't accept the fact that he has issues and tell me everything is my fault. It's very irritating but I do my best to ignore them. I have also chosen not to medicate him for the same reasons as you. I've also been working in the pharamaceutical industry for 17 years and very well aware of the entire process of a drug going from preclinical to clinical testing to marketing. When a pharmaceutical company is required by the FDA to put a black box warning on their package insert, the next step is taking the drug off the market for harmful side effects. Medicating your child is a personal decision and there are many children on it who are fine and the Dr's insist that it is safe. You may want to consider having her evaluated and classified by the school to get her in a smaller classroom.
Good Luck!
Oh, I feel for you! Last year, first grade was a nightmare! That's when we decided to medicate, also, with much trepidation I might add. Good luck on whatever you decide. As you have learned, medicating a child for ADHD is a major HOT topic for lots of folks. You may want to pick and choose who you decide to tell. Some of the people closest to you may not be very supportive. And it's none of their business, anyway. And expect the medication trials to full of ups and downs. It's very emotionally draining for the parents. Sometimes you have to try many different meds before finding the right ones. So don't get discouraged if the first one doesn't work. Good luck to you and keep in touch!Don't be afraid to try medications. It has helped our 6yo ADHD/anxiety