need advice | ADHD Information

 we had a talk about how to behave at the dance yes he does like a girl im sure hes gonna show off in front of her in a funny way tho my concern is if someone ask him to do something what will he do my guess is he would do it thinking hes doing it to fit in, the reason i say that is because the neighbor kid tries to get him in trouble all the time but im always there saying no i dont think so and the neighbor kid leaves. i guess im just worried because i cant make it to help out and this is the first time. call me worry wort mom thanx for ur repliesLet him go. He's young. Just have a back-up plan in case he DOES have to be picked up. Do you have a friend or neighbour or family member who'll be able to do this for you? I don't think it's right to prevent him from going to a dance because you think he's likely going to f*ck up. Give him the benefit of the doubt even if you ARE right. He'll appreciate it more and get the sense that you're willing to trust him even at all odds.

Knowing me when it is time for my girl I would be voluntering to chaporone to keep an eye out for her.

Hi recee,

 I imagine there's been a lot of excited buildup from the classmates, and he just wants to be a part of what everyone else is doing.  Is there a girl he likes and is looking forward to dancing with? 

What would happen if his behavior slips?  Is there plenty of supervision?  He would probably just be removed from the main dance area and would have to wait it out on his own until the end of the dance for your pick-up arrangements.  I think that would be a pretty big deterrent against acting up.  Of course, they could call you, but if you're not available to pick him up in the middle of the dance, then you're just not available.  He'll have to wait it out, probably in some kind of embarassing time-out.

I think if you have a good discussion with him, covering all the consequences, he won't want to let you or himself down.   I really like sassyirishmama's point about "natural consequences", too.  And,  if the dance is a successful experience for him, it will be a real boost to his confidence (and yours)!

I have a daughter who's in 4th grade (my ADHD'r) and one in 7th. The few dances that they do hold at school are very important to them and even though my kid might act like a complete hellion at home....you'd be surprised how well behaved she can be at a school activity! I couldn't believe all the compliments and nice things that were said about her after her first dance. Just to make it easier, make sure you use "natural consequenses" as a punishment. He knows if he doesn't act "cool" at the dance....he'll be made fun of. The last thing they want to do is attract negative attention around the opposite sex. Let me know what you think?

Breath Mom. It's amazing how they can act when they're focused on something important...

 my son wants to go to the 6th grade dance im not sure if its a good idea i have to work so i cant b there to make sure hes being good. if he does something hes not suppose to i cant leave work and get him. what do u think he wants to go so bad and hes been counting the days.

[QUOTE=recee] my son wants to go to the 6th grade dance im not sure if its a good idea i have to work so i cant b there to make sure hes being good. if he does something hes not suppose to i cant leave work and get him. what do u think he wants to go so bad and hes been counting the days.[/QUOTE]

Is your son medicated during the day? If so, can you add a short acting form to carry you through the dance? We do that with my 4th grader, 9 years old, to get through football and any parties after practice friday nights!  Talk to the prescibing doctor if you are medicating. 

 

beth

hi i am new to all this internet  i have a nine year old son who has been diagnosed with a.d.h.d since he was 3years old he is on medication which calms him down for a bit but i just dont know what to do he has put holes in the walls he gets knifes out and thretens to stab us he climbs out of the bedroom windows if we say that he is grounded or he will not come home from school we have tried everything we can with him he seems to be getting worser by the day do you have any suggestions as to what we can do to help him to calm down Are you sure our sons were not seperated at birth?they have the same symptoms.I am also in uk pm me with your loaction i may be of some help. [QUOTE=wilko]hi i am new to all this internet  i have a nine year old son who has been diagnosed with a.d.h.d since he was 3years old he is on medication which calms him down for a bit but i just dont know what to do he has put holes in the walls he gets knifes out and thretens to stab us he climbs out of the bedroom windows if we say that he is grounded or he will not come home from school we have tried everything we can with him he seems to be getting worser by the day do you have any suggestions as to what we can do to help him to calm down [/QUOTE]