the dreaded phone call | ADHD Information

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You can even feed into a live class with a sattelite dish?? That is amazing.well hello my 11 year old son went back to school today when i got home from work  i gotta another phone call from the principal i really didnt want to call back. but all i can think of is my son hurt. im not sure at the time if they called work because i didnt come home directly afterwards. My son got in trouble this morning stabbing things with his pencil my guess he was bored but he kept on breakin his led and said no he doesnt have to ( but hey he didnt cuss at her) but had to go c the principal I said so whatcha gonna do and he said hes doin fine sittin there i asked him to tell my son to write an apology letter he had a better afternoon.  I thank everyone who replied i really dont think i can homeschool myself with my work schedule but we r gonna try to place him n a learning center he has to do some testing first. we will c what goes on. I need someone that can handle my son n anything comes there way. I have been reading this book putting on the breaks some i read to my son but he has to read help is on the way a childrens book to many words get him frusterated n he gives up faster.but i have him read his 3 pages n copy word 4 word so i might think somethings might sink in.                                                              Homeschooling can be very rewarding, but let me be the devil's advocate for a minute. IMHO, before a person undertakes to teach their children, they should take a good, hard look at their own education and how they feel about school.  If a person has serious written communication problems or math difficulties or reading issues, he/she probably isn't the best person to homeschool their children. If you can't master math or writing or reading, you will not be able to teach it in a way that will make your child successful. This is why teaching standards continue to get more rigorous. We won't accept unqualified teachers in the schools, so we shouldn't accept them at home, either.  Just something to consider when making the choice to homeschool.Recee ivanhoe is exactly right. The other good thing about coop's with homeschooling is that most times you can choose what social activities he participats in giving you a little more control over the behavoir rewards and consequences. You can also do homeschooling using D.V.D's with certain curriculums or there is some that you can even feed into a live class with their sattelite dish. These do cost a pretty penny though. Homeschooling can be an expensive adventure of your time and money but sometimes kids learn so much better in a homeschool enviroment with the one on one making it more than worth it in the long run. Good luck on whatever you decide!!TO ME MANY STAFF REALLY DON'T GET A LD KID AT ALL. SCHOOL IS TO EDUCATE NOT SOCAILIZE. HOME SCHOOL KIDS CAN GET SOCIAL FROM JOINING ACTIVITIES OUT OF SCHOOL AND HOME SCHOOLS CLASSES AND YOUR LOCAL HOMESCHOOL COOP FOR MONTHLY FIELD TRIPS. I'm going through the same thing right now.  Except for, my son is in kindergarten.  The school has send him home four 5 times now.  Constantly calling my job.  They just don't want to deal with it and don't know how.  Not enough experienced teachers in this situation.  I had a ppt today, and my advocaters requested a therapeutic aid.  Not just a regular teachers aid as the therapeutic aid know what words to use and how to deal with our children.  This is being considered and I pray for this because I believe it will work.  Also, I'm searching around for a male mentor.[QUOTE=jaderock54]

Can you show that your son's behavior is directly related to his disability?  I recall reading somewhere (wish I could remember where) that it is a violation of the child's rights to punish them for something realated to their disability in the same way that they would punish his nondisabled peers IF you can show that the behavior was directly related to the diability.  I think that this was mostly pertaining to suspensions and the such, but it might be something to look into for next time.  I'll see if I can find it too, cause it's gonna bother me.

I don't know where you live, but there is a school here in Baltimore that specializes in kids with LDs.  You might look into something similar in your area, but if you're not near a city there may not be one. 

As far as homeschooling goes, I was homeschooled from k-4th (I'm also ADD).  It was not a good experience.  I was a shy kid who had trouble with social cues and not being around other children regularly did not help that at all.  Also, when I entered the public school system in grade 5 I found it very frustrating that I did not know how to organize myself, switch gears from one subject to the next, I did not really know my basic math facts (my mom had always walked me through it and I never really memorized anything), and I did not know how to make friends. 

 

[/QUOTE] BPQW I DON'T AGREE WITH YOU AT ALL. HOME SCHOOLING WILL GIVE A PERSON THE TIME THEY NEED TO MASTER THE STUFF NOT JUST PAST THE TESTS. YOU COULD SEND THE KID TO A LEARNING CENTER IN STEAD OF SCHOOL. IF i HAD THE MONEY OUR SON WOULD BE WITH LINDAMOOD BELL DAILY INPLACE OF SCHOOL. THE REST DONE AT HOME. SOME HOME SCHOOL STUFF NEEDS LITTLE HELP FROM A ADULT IT DOES THE TEACHING FOR YA. lEARNING CENTERS COST AROUND 2,000.TRAINING IS AVAILABLE FOR LOTS OF THE CURRICULUMS AT HOMESCHOOL BOOK FAIRS ALSO. Homeschooling would be hard for you and lonely for your child.  I think you should talk to the principal and maybe suggest if there is a behavioral school nearby, the town should pick up the tab and maybe your son would be happier.  How old is your son ?  It doesn't sound like they know how to handle him.

I just wanted to wish you luck. I am so sorry you two are going through this.

well my son is not going to the dance. he just got suspended from school because he called a teacher a stupid bitch 1st offense 3 days out. i told the principal and teacher telling them in my sons LD kicking him out is not the answer. well i also told them they cant handle adhd kids i could really go on and on but lets just say what i did 2day didnt do anygood i was n tears n not knowing what to do when a new thing wears out hes a whole different boy and i warned them i really did tell them what to expect i guess they didnt believe me i just really dont know what 2 do this is every year 4 awhile now. thanx 4 letting me vent.

Hi recee,

Sorry about your son.  Bad timing.  What precipitated that outburst?   Being suspended and missing the dance is a really big punishment. 

Maybe they should have assigned an essay, instead, on proper respect in the classroom - something that would make him stop and think about what happend, instead of totally isolating him this way.  Are there any other ADHD's in the school?  You're right; it sounds like they don't know how to deal with the outburst in a constructive way.

 Maybe you could make an appointment to see the principal again and calmly suggest an alternate consequence for your son, since the dance is really a big thing, and missing school will just put more pressure on him when he returns, due to missed lessons.  He could do the essay I mentioned, for example, and make a meaningful aplology to the teacher in front of the class (because, of course, the teacher cannot be seen to be accepting that kind of behaviour, otherwise her classroom authority is damaged).  The teacher could accept the apology , and everyone could move on, knowing there were consequences and  closure.  Those consequences would probably leave more of an impression on your son and he would likely think twice before spouting out in class.  Plus then it would be over and he wouldn't be left out of everything, feeling more angry than before.  What do you think?

ill tell u what really burned me up the absolute most is 1 of his teachers telling me she has kids that have ld i said then of all people u should know how to handle my son and kicking him out is not the answer she then told me not to give up aargh i said no i will never give up on him but yall allready did. thenthe principal told me if theres anything we can do let us know i said yah there is u can give my son another punishment that he stays n school he saids we cant do that hes full of bs

as far as the dance its tonight and i really was gonna let him go but he cant nowSorry, recee...I don't think the school is handling it well.  I guess the best thing is to make sure your son understands that this is very serious (and why it's so serious), and then move on. Also, try to get to the bottom of why he was so angry with the teacher.

That's too bad.  You're a good mother, advocating for your son as best you can.  Often, people say they understand...but they really don't.  Unless they actually have children who have the same kind of problems, there's just no way they understand.

thats the problem my son has no fear he can get in trouble and within a few min. its like nothing happened.

so any ideas what my son needs to do while hes off i have to work. my mom thinks i should homeschool him what do u all think What is sad is kids love days off so is that a punishment or an encouragement.  I am sorry to hear about your news.  Three days off for swearing sounds petty to me missing the dance is a consequence and maybe writing I will not swear at my teacher again 25x should do it.Well homeschooling is always an option if you think you can handle that. Would you do it yourself or hire someone? It'll cost money to hire and if you need to work, you can't be at two places at once. Is this something you think you may be able to pull off and do you think your son will benefit?Does your child have an IEP or a 504 plan? You could get an IEE under OHI( other health impaired ) for a child with ADHD. By suspending him they are denying him FAPE( free access to public education) which is illegal under IDEA. edbson, they would only be denying him FAPE if they expelled him and didn't offer an alternative schooling option.  A three-day suspension for disciplinary reasons is allowable.  I am all for being the advocate for a child, but when a kid's behavior crosses the line, he or she should bear the consequences.  Calling a teacher a "stupid bitch" is disrespectful and disruptive.  That's not fair to the other students in the class.  My ds (6th grade) was suspended for 3 days because someone on the bus coming back from a field trip told him he'd give ds if he pulled down his pants and pretended to hump the seat and he took him up on this.  We made sure that was the most miserable 3 days of his life.   You might ask the principal if he would consider changing the punishment to an in-school suspension.  Your son would be removed from the classroom and would spend his time with the principal or other appointed person.  He could be given homework to do but would not be allowed to eat with the other students or participate in any activities until the suspension is over.  Not a perfect solution but at least he would have the opportunity to do something constructive instead of staying at home and possibly getting into further trouble.

Can you show that your son's behavior is directly related to his disability?  I recall reading somewhere (wish I could remember where) that it is a violation of the child's rights to punish them for something realated to their disability in the same way that they would punish his nondisabled peers IF you can show that the behavior was directly related to the diability.  I think that this was mostly pertaining to suspensions and the such, but it might be something to look into for next time.  I'll see if I can find it too, cause it's gonna bother me.

I don't know where you live, but there is a school here in Baltimore that specializes in kids with LDs.  You might look into something similar in your area, but if you're not near a city there may not be one. 

As far as homeschooling goes, I was homeschooled from k-4th (I'm also ADD).  It was not a good experience.  I was a shy kid who had trouble with social cues and not being around other children regularly did not help that at all.  Also, when I entered the public school system in grade 5 I found it very frustrating that I did not know how to organize myself, switch gears from one subject to the next, I did not really know my basic math facts (my mom had always walked me through it and I never really memorized anything), and I did not know how to make friends. 

 

Oh, and you asked what your son should do during his three-day suspension.  My advice...something miserable, so he doesn't look at it as a vacation.  I'd make sure he had to do all of his school assignments, whether or not the school would count them for grades, and a LIST of unpleasant chores--laundry, cleaning up dog poop in the yard, cleaning the bathrooms, etc. 

Recee..... sorry to hear you all are going through this.

Please clarify something.  Is a 3 day out of school suspension the standard policy punishment district wide for a child swearing at a teacher ONE TIME?  Are they enforcing this policy uniformly with all the kids in all schools?  It does sound extreme for one swearing offense.  You mention this is a 1st offense, but does your child have a history of multiple other behavioral incidences, and they are suspending because of this one incident with this specific teacher,  plus prior incidences??  I guess my question is when you post the words"1st offense", did you mean first offense with this teacher, first offense for swearing,  or first offense for ANY behavioral problems??  I think it makes a difference.

While I agree that the punishment sounds extreme, personally I think it is not wise to use his ADHD or LD to argue with the school because whether or not you intend it, it makes you come across as a parent who is using your son's ADHD to justify him being able to call a teacher a stupid bitch without consequence.   I'd think it would be wiser to try to approach it from the view point of yes... your son called the teacher a stupid bitch, which in any circumstance is not appropriate.. and yes....he needs a consequence, but the 3 day suspension is extreme.

Okiemom

okiemom38991.342974537

Lots of questions :

Does your son have a 504 or an IEP?  You keep talking about "putting him out."  Are you referring to the suspension, or are you saying they want to kick him out of school?  What grade is your son in?  It sounds like high school, and if it is, I think a three-day suspension is justified.  You can't have high school students cussing out teachers.  The students are at an age where they are a physical threat to the teachers, and any behavior that can lead to physical confrontation needs to be addressed severely.  Calling a teacher a "stupid bitch" is very serious and just one step from punching a teacher out, shoving a teacher, throwing something at a teacher, etc., and ADHD is no excuse for this behavior.  Why do you think this behavior has anything to do with ADHD?

Actually, ivanhoe, you couldn't be more wrong about "home school stuff needs little help from a adult it does the teaching for ya." I did homeschool my son for four months and if anything, homeschooling requires MORE interaction with the parent-teacher, not less. Not even the smartest, most motivated student would be successful if all you do is plop the materials in front of them and say, "Here. It teaches its self."  Kids don't learn anything in a vacuum.  Let's say that I can't speak English (and there are LOTS of people born in the US who barely can, even though they are native English speakers). There is no way I could use a book to teach my child to speak English if I can't do it myself!

edited for spelling and grammar

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