I wonder if my son will think that one day ..."it's never enough!" We have chosen to not medicate right now and we are doing ok in school. Nothing disasterous and we are working on things. The school has been very flexible with us and it seems like they are going the extra mile.
But just about everyday I give Isiah a little speech before bed or before school about how "tomorrow/today will be better. Always try your best and today, don't play in the bathroom...." or "today, try not to make the noises outloud but do them in your head at carpet time...." Then I think to myself that it is just never enough because there is always something he needs to work on or do better at. That makes me feel so frustrated and sad for him! I know he is putting forth effort and he is really trying to do better this year but it just never seems to be enough to equal the other kids. I hate hate hate that he has to go through this.
Anyhow, I just think about this sometimes when I find myself trying to change behaviors that he struggles with at school. This week the problem is playing in the bathroom and being too noisy in there (the teacher journals with me everyday btw). I have decided that ya know...boys and girls just do that and I am going to let this one go. Pfft :)
I agree with all of lillian's comments and perspective above and wanted to add that picking three was a critical part of an intense behavior mod program where I once attended a workshop. It was suggested to make a list of all the behaviors that needed modifying, organize them and pick the top three to work on. Good luck!When my son came to us as a foster child, we had a list of behaviors to work on. I learned very quickly "to put out the biggest fires" first and not to concentrate on everything because it's too difficult for the child. It sounds like he's young, like in kinder? I'd pick three behaviors and concentrate on those. Let him work towards mastering those, then remove them as he masters them and replace them with others. Keep in mind, though, he's just a little boy. Don't worry about the behavior, unless it's extreme. Because our kids have ADHD, it's easy for us to notice every little thing. Try to let as much go as you can and smile about it. Our kids are wired differently, and there are some very good things about that--great senses of humor, enthusiasm, compassion for those who are younger and for animals, endless energy, etc. Enjoy the positive side of it!
I agree with Lillian. You are getting overwhelmed because you are trying to change too much. Pick his 2 or 3 most problematic behaviors... then let other's go until another time. Playing in the bathroom wouldn't even make it to my list because, like you said, ALL kids do this if given the opportunity. If you read The Explosive Child.....the gist of his strategy is to pick your battles carefully. Trying to change too many behaviors at once will just overwhelm you and frustrate him.
Okiemom
None of us enjoys the struggles our children go through it hurts us parents more than the kids sometimes. Take things one day at a time.