Well, today she and I talked again. I got down on her level and asked her if she trusted me. I told her I would NEVER want the worst for her, only the best. We ended up agreeing that we would try FOCUS for a week and if she didn't like the way it made her feel, we would stop. She seems to be afraid that she will want to stop having fun. She said "I won't want to play - I'll just want to read!". She actually seems very observant about the purpose of the vitamins, diet change, etc. and is just against it all! She really doesn't want to be a "different" person! I tell her over and over it won't change who she is, that I love who she is, etc.
BUT we'll see how this works. Between FOCUS and the marble system, we may be able to compromise and live peacefully...
I just feel like with something like this, she should have a say in it. She doesn't get a say in day to day stuff, but this has affected her so much.
I'll be giving my imput on FOCUS on the alternatives forum. We'll see!
I put the omega oils in my son's food as well as my own. It's healthy for everyone. Vitamins are also something everyone should take daily. Maybe you've associated them to ADHD. See if you can convince her it's to keep her and everyone healthy and not because she has ADHD. She's probably thinking you're having to FIX HER and ya, it's going to hurt her feelings.
When I explain things to my son, I say 'we' 'our' so he's not pin-pointed. It helps that I have ADD ........ hey!! look at that, I just found another positive in having ADD lol ......... so we can naturally go through this process together. Also, when I started his diet, I was on the diet as well. We ate healthy anyway so it benefited me as well.
I've never used Focus but if the methods you were using before helped, I would go back to that and not tie it to ADHD. The marbles system could be used as a fun way of learning - not ADHD related. Focus on the other hand, is associated with ADHD so it may end up backfiring your promise. Just a thought.
I also ordered Focus this week, so let's keep one another posted on the alternatives board.
I guess that you just need to make her feel better about all of this, rather than stopping the alternatives that you are trying. Somehow, she's decided that it's a bad thing. Perhaps you should just emphasize her good qualities for awhile and not talk about the other stuff. Try some lavish praise for awhile. Maybe she just feels overloaded with the dx and criticism right now. Is she getting comments from elsewhere, like school?
Are the omegas straight or in a formula for ADHD? I started my son on a formula and it made him very depressed and teary. I switched to pure flax oil and it worked very well. I then switched to fish oil and he doesn't like taking it but he still doesn't get as depressed as he did on the formula.Yeah-boogadoo, let's keep eachother posted!
I am wondering how you got him started in OT through school? I have a meeting set up with the school psychologist pretty soon. Is that something they can do, you think? That would be great. Play OT would be good for her too. It would take the focus off the seriousness for her.
Thanks!
My son is 7 and I've chosen not to medicate either. I would love to hear your feedback on Focus which I am thinking of starting him on as well. I've heard great things about the Omega 3 fish oil but need to talk to his allergist first. My son has a shellfish allergy and I'm afraid to give him any herbs or vitamins until I find out from the allergist if it's okay. I'm also starting him with occupational therapy tomorrow. I've heard this is a great option with kids with ADHD and sensory integration issues (which he has). He gets OT twice per week in school and I'm taking him on my own as well. It's fun for them because the therapy is done through play. I'll keep you posted on this as well. Let us know about the Focus and good luck!Wow, that's a tough one. I don't know that I would take her of the vitamins, they have helped my child so much. And I have had great success with the Focus and marble system, but every child is different. He does not mind taking all the stuff he takes, but then again, I have been giving him many vitamins his whole life, so he was used to it. He knows all I give him is helping him get smiley faces at school and he is happy about that....he calls me Doctor MOM LOL.
There are others on the board that can tell you better ways to explain to your dd why she needs to take these things...............good luck!
Hi everyone - I read the boards every day and have learned a lot in the last two weeks (since my daughter was officially diagnosed). I have wondered about her since she was around 3 - she is now 7.5.
I have been concentrating on is a lot in the last couple of weeks. I choose not to medicate at this time - I've been watching her diet, started her on Omegas and had her tested at "Learning RX". I've just been seeing what our options are.
Well, this morning she was excited about making her little sisters a birthday card and accidentally scraped me in the face with the paper (ouch, btw) and then stopped and said sorry. Then she dropped everything and went crying to her room. I followed her and she was on her bed sobbing and said "I didn't mean to hurt you - I don't do anything right!". Well... my daughter has never had issues with self-esteem before. She's always been quick to blame anything or anyone around her for things, actually, and then goes about her way.
I felt horrible. She continued to say that she didn't want to do the doctor stuff anymore and didn't want to take medicine anymore (vitamins). It all made her feel like someone else and that she just wanted to be herself. WOW - wake up call for me. I've been concetrating on it way too much, I think. And that she was able to word her feelings in such a way actually made me proud of her.
I told her that we would stop then. If she didn't want to, we would stop. She then hugged me like she has NEVER hugged me before. Instead of her usual hanging on me crazy hugs, she gave me a serious thankful hug and didn't want to stop. I left her room feeling pretty good about it.
But since then I have been thinking... she does need something to help her. She's having a hard time in school and with homework. I'm doing the marble system with chores, etc. and that's improved, but I feel for her when she sits down with homework. I want to help her with that.
I ordered FOCUS - anyone used it? Opinions on it? How can I explain to her that this is something that will help her without hurting her self-esteem anymore? What other options can anyone think of?
Thank for any imput...
When the school originally tested him (2 years ago) there were sensory integration issues noted by the psychologist during the testing process (primarily smelling everything, his inability to sequence information and his poor handwriting) so he qualified for OT under that. He gets individual OT twice per week and group twice. I haven't seen any improvement so that's why I'm taking him myself. He has an IEP which also makes him eligible for the special ed class that he's in as well as language evaluation.
I'm at the point now where I just can't take it anymore. In addition to all the learning issues, he also suffers from a chronic cough from sinusitis and chronic canker sores in his mouth. This has been going on for 2 years. They have him on 4 different allergy medications and none of them work. We were up for 2 hours last night because of the cough. I am going to push the Docs to start food allergy testing next. I am determined to find out what's going on and will not stop until I do.