Anyone ever accused of manipulation?

It would be manipulation if you intentionally pretend not to be able to function and make this painfully clear with subtle non-verbal signals.  Teenage kids are well known to manipulate using weak spots in their parents.

Many people however have a martyr complex and will both take up the slack on someone who they feel isn't pulling their weight and also having to tell everyone what a GREAT burden it is and how they were manipulated into helping.  Poppycock!  Some people have a perfectionistic attitude and take over yet need everyone to give them credit as having gone above and beyond.

If a person truly is being put out by a manipulator the easiest way to prove this is to not take up the extra work and let things slide where people can see.  That would be good enough for some - but others just have to overwork and get that verbal pat on the back.  Poor poor overworked you!

I think it's a small part of the number of people taking extra on that are being manipulated.  At least by someone else.  Can you say OCD?

Oh my gosh with that martyr complex thing you just described my husband to a tee.  I can't mow the yard because my lines aren't straight enough. I could go on and on and on.  Everyone thinks he is such a nice guy, he does so much for me.  And I am the manipulator. 

When someone points out a potential flaw I think it is fair to chew on it. If there is  truth in it , swallow it.  This one, I am spittng out. 

You have all been surprisingly insightful, can't thank you enough!

Honestly, by what you are telling us I don't see it as manipulative. Your assistant is just that...to assist you. Your husband is your partner and what he does well he does and what you do well you do. And it is pretty typical if an employee needs coverage when they are going to be gone that a boss asks someone to cover for them but I have a feeling that isn't what you are saying. If your boss is saying to cover for you because you aren't getting your work done than your just not doing your job.  

Funny, I'm totally the opposite. I can't stand to have anyone do something for me but then I'm mildly ADD I think. Anyway, it drives me crazy even if I can't do it well I want to do it! I want to control every detail of my life. 

I think I am likable for the most part.  Friends say my ditzness is part of my charm.  The people who don't like me are the rule follower perfectionists. You know the ones who are never late, paper work all turned in on time, but zero creativity.   I think they don't get how I can be so successful and so unorganized at the same time.  I think it messes with their sense of fairness.  They don't get me and look down on me.  Then I fly by them in some way and it pisses them off.  I don't mean to. 

So how can I convince my shrink I am not manipulative?  Or am I? 

Thanks barb and jaderock54

Think about it this way- these people (I assume) are not being threatened or coersed into helping you.  They are helping you because you need it.  Also, in a way it benefits them to help you.  If you can't find your keys at the end of the day that affects the people in your office as they are trying to get out of work on time, but would feel bad leaving you there searching for your keys.  Your husband calls in your prescriptions because he doesn't want to live with the effects of your not having it.

I hate when people misuse that word.  My mother was always trying to tell me that my son was manipulating me (he has ADD, he needs help and he doesn't always know how to ask for it).  One time he was asking his sister to play something with him and when she refused he told her he would play something that she wanted if she would play what he wanted.  My mother told him that he was manipulating her and that he should stop because it was bad.  Talk about setting the kids back a couple of years!  We had finally gotten him to the point where he could do that instead of yelling and screaming out of frustration.

I have a way of getting people to help me with out asking.  I guess I have this helplessness about me that makes people want to do things for me.  But with ADD I really do need help.  My shrink said this was being manipulative. 

If my assistant puts m keys by my purse so  don't lose them or if my husband calls in my perscriptions because I screw up the numbers or my boss tells coworkers to cover for me am I being manipulative? 

If I am is that bad?  I would really like to figure this out so please help.  It is really confusing to me.