Refused membership to boyscouts | ADHD Information

Karen,

I have been a Cub Scout Leader for 2 years now and what that leader told you is the absolute biggest lie! Scouts are not to turn away any child with a disability! In fact, our kids are encouraged to join and participate! With all the structure a GOOD Leader should be providing, your son shouldn't be a problem at all! Last year I had 3 ADHDers, (my son being one of them), and believe me it was a struggle on some nights, but I would NEVER tell a parent their child couldn't be a scout! This leader is just lazy and dosen't want to put in the effort that it may take to get through to your child. You did the right thing calling the Council. You need to pick up the phone and find your son a new pack. Don't give up, Scouts is a wonderful group to get your son involved in. You just need to find a leader that is understanding and really cares about kids. Good Luck and keep us posted.

That stinks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

I haven't tried scouting for my boys yet-probably won't. I'm still bitter about them not letting...................well you know -never mind.

Sorry about how you were treated. Looks like the above poster has some great info and help for you

ang

ogram38994.9037037037I would report this to the higher aboves because just because he has a disability he should be able to do what everyone else does. My girl just joined girl scouts first time on friday.

Hi Karen,

We've been involved with cubscouts for 3 years now and my husband and myself have held leadership positions. What you leader told you is unacceptable. You did the right thing in calling the area counsil. Cubscouts is not supposed to discriminate against anyone with a disability. There is even a whole chapter in the leader handbook on how to deal with and help kids with disabilities. There is a section that lists sample "adaptations" to make for various disibilities and one of them says:

Example: A Cub Scout cannot stay on task and runs around.

Solution: And adult or older youth can become a buddy for the scout.

Another idea would be to look around your area for other packs. There are often more than one in each town and it may be easier on both of you to start over with a clean slate. In any event, make sure that you follow up with the counsil about that leader. That is not what Cub Scouts is all about.

By the way, was it the Den leader or the cubmaster who told you this? If it was just the den leader then the cubmaster should be able to set him straight.

This year we finally chose to medicate my son. He was much too hyperactive, impulsive, and aggressive than he should be. It took us about 9 months to get the right combo for him. In the meantime Jeffrey was going to cubscouts, he got into a fight with a kid so we chose to drop out and wait until next year. He would be soooo excited he would run around the room for about 5 min before he could calm down and sit and listen. This year we tried to join cubscouts again and the troop leader said he didn't feel comfortable with it. He then said it was just a safety issue. I told him my son would not be allowed to be in public school if he wasn't safe. He then told me he is just such a distraction. I said well we will try again come next year and he just said MAYBE. I have since called the local council and left a message. I am going to try again, until I get someone. Has anyone had anything like this happen to them ?

Karen

I agree, that sounds totally illegal, much less not upholding Boy Scout values. I don't think you want to be in that pack with that leader anyway. Find another one. Grrrrrr I totally agree could they say he wasnt allowed in if he was in a wheel chair? Its discrimination saying that My son isnt allowed in church as they say he is too disruptive.

Good grief! This is just outrageous!

Report this leader to the local council then just find another pack. You wouldn't want to be in a pack that had that inept of a leader anyway!

My son did scouts all the way through the Arrow of Light.

This is SO outrageous, that I'd call my local TV station consumer complaints reporter to profile a story on this, if you're willing to go public.

Okiemom

One thing I found helpful when my ds was in cub scouts is that dh or I went to the meetings with him. This helped keep him on task and any inappropriate behavior could be nipped in the bud. What that leader told you was wrong and I'd not only contact the council, I'd complain loudly to anyone who listened! Scouting is a good activity for ADHD kids and you shouldn't let this opportunity pass. Let us know what the council says. Hi. I hope I don't go against the grain! My son is add and in scouting. My husband is an assistant scout leader.

There is a boy in the troop who can be very difficult to handle. Last summer the troop went to a week long camp. (My husband and son did not go.)By the end, the boy was so hard to handle the leaders spent the majority of their time with him instead of being able to help the other boys finish their merit badge work, etc. The boy's parents were told that he can camp again, but only if one of his parents comes, because they really aren't sure how to handle him when he is overtired, and they don't have enough volunteers to do so.

The parents chose to pass on the subsequent campout, which was not suprising. If the father comes to a meeting, he spends the entire time on his laptop working.

I couldn't tell from your post if you are staying with your son at the meetings. If there have been behavior problems that interfear with the activities planned, I feel the parent should stay, even if all they do is monitor and help with their own child. That is why my husband volunteers in scouting - so he can be there if my son needs help or is too frustrated.

If you stay there, maybe you can find an outlet for your son's energy before the beginning of the meeting. My boys used to get there early and play some game they made up with tennis balls against the side of the building by the playground. Gradually several of the boys would come early to play, and it made the meetings much more mellow, because, let's face it - all boys can be pretty hyper!

If you have had it with that group, find another pack and stay at the meetings with your son. Adhd is pretty common, so there has got to be a more relaxed group and leader out there! Eventually you may all feel comfortable enough for you to leave him there on his own, which he should be very proud of!

Best wishes,
Koko

Koko38994.550474537

Hi All,

Thankyou very much for all your responses to my problem. Whenever we would go to Jeffrey's scouting events my husband or I would ALWAYS stay. We know Jeffey can be difficult and don't want to impose on others. I called the local leader who called this troop leaders area leader (I don't know what the terms are) and they told me that Jeffrey can come to the next meeting but we must stay with him and come 15 min early and they will deceid if he can stay with the pack based on that meeting. I told my husband and he doesn't want to go because he feels very uncomfortable because he knows the troop leader doesn't want Jeffrey there. The man said he thinks this is very big of them after all. I wanted to jump though the phone and strangle him. He said maybe Jeffrey will out grow this. This man obviously knows very little about ADHD, early onset bipolar or aspergers syndrom. I am not sure what to do.

Karen

I contacted the local scouting rep and told him. He contacted this person and they suggested that we go to the next meeting on a trial basis. I don't really want to go back to this pack, but I feel that if we go to another one the kids will wonder why we don't go to the pack at our school and Jeffrey will feel strange. I think like you say the guy will just be looking for another excuse to say he has to leave. My husband also feels bad about everything. I don't know if we should even bother.

My DS is 7 and has ADHD. He is on meds and is in his second year of scouting. I am really concerned that your pack would do this, especially when you are attending meetings and events with your child. If you were dropping off, I could understand their concern, but it sounds like you are being a very responsible parent and I just don't get their objection. My DH is the den leader for our wolves and I am in pack leadership and we, along with another Den Leader (who's son is also ADHD btw) would like to offer our most sincere apologies for what this pack has done. I do not believe it is right, or in the spirit of inclusivitiy that has historically been a part of scouting.

My recommendation is that you speak with your pack committee chair about the issue since it came from the cubmaster and if you get nothing at that level, call on the district executive. This is who those in scouting leadership are required to report questionable activity to as far as scout safety, so it seems reasonable that you would contact them regarding a similiar issue. They're familiar with most of the legalities that apply to scouting. If you are not comfortable contacting this individual, please send me a pm with the council and pack # and I will get in the middle of it, I am so absolutely outraged!!!

Please don't give up on scouting, it has been great for my son and is a wonderful family experience. Maybe your church charters a pack your son could join...

Best wishes,

Gracie

graciepoints38995.4034259259Find another pack, if possible. This leader doesn't want to be bothered with your son and will eventually find a way to kick him out again. I'd be knee-deep in beating the guy up! This kind of thing makes me furious! well, to me it sounds like this scout leader just doesn't want to be "bothered" with any thing that will be any extra effort on her part. it is discrimination, which is illegal!! listen to these ladies advice and take action now, so she doesn't do this to any one else! yes pitching in is a good idea, but she is the leader, it's her responsibility to lead the group and assist in every child's needs. It's not like your son is harming any one and he is really not a bother when you think about it 5 minutes of settling down is nothing compared to the 60 minutes of "structured" time they have in the lectured/scouting time. she is just being difficult in my opinion. maybe a personality conflict on her part.[QUOTE=KarenR]

Hi All,

Karen

This is horrible. In my town, most of the scouts have ADHD, along with other boys who do not. I would still go over this leaders head to inform those of what he is doing, he is sure to do it again to another child & family. I also would call my local paper and see if they could write something up about it

This leader is so ignorant!

Best wishes!

Beth

[/QUOTE] CUB SCOUT LEVEL IS A FAMILY EVENT ALSO. THIS IS HOW THIS PROGRAM IS LAYED OUT. NO LEADER CAN TELL YOU WHAT THAT LEADER TOLD YOU. REPORT THE LEADER. TELL YOUR SON SIGNS UP IS TO BE QUIET. THIS IS HOW ARE PACK LEADERS DEAL WITH TALKING BOYS. ANY KID CAN BE A SCOUT. THERE ARE MODIFICATIONS IN SCOUTS ALSO. That's terrible and unacceptable. I would fight this until he's back in scouts. You're son should not have to pay the consequence for having a disability. My son just started so we will see how it goes - I'll let you know if I get any negative comments from anyone. I will not let him go to PAC meetings alone though. I always make sure either me or my husband is with him because he can be annoying to others that are trying to pay attention.