What can we do? Bus problems... | ADHD Information

I just glimsed at your e-mail again and decided to add on to mine! Another thing that really irks me is why the schools let it go for 2 weeks then tell you when you have 1 foot out the door!!! Last year we had poor communiction with our teacher who intrestlingly is also ADHD and adopted as is my son! anyhow this year we have a very orginized teacher who sends home daily reports on behavior and this makes a huge difference we are handling his behavior daily and we know what is going on. I just re-established my e-mail at work so the special ed teacher can also e-mail me. I have set up a Friday reward system where the kids get to pick prizes out of a goody bag for good behavior. They picked things out at the dollar store and I have them in my trunk! Last week ADHD kid begged me for a volcano kit and the side kick wanted a cash register so I fugured semi-educational  I buckled but I put it in the prize bag and they have to earn it! Anyhow it is kinda working (today was a bad day at school) what else is new???My son was removed from the bus due to behavior. With the adhd diagnosis he qualified for the special needs bus. I also work and have no one to transport so it was a huge issue for us as well. You might ask about it and tell them you are in the process of diagnosing him maybe they could consider that option but you may need an IEP in place.  Our younger son started the bus this year and the older one wanted to try the "regular bus" again so we put him back on it and he sits behind the bus driver. The bus is going ok if I could just get him on track the rest of the day!! I will say the "short bus" was great for him there were only a few kids and often he rode alone he had an aide who helped him with homework and all the elbow room he needed (they sit 3 in a seat on regular bus) and I think the stimuli on the regular bus fueled his hyperness (as does the lunchroom) just the frenzy of grade schoolers! I have never heard of the focus medication I assume it is an over the counter stimulant? personally I would wait for the Dr if it is not prescribed but maybe someone might know better about it than I!! good luck somehow it all works out!!I would take him off of the bus myself before this becomes a pattern that sticks in the minds of the others on this bus (who tend to stay in the same place grade after grade) and in his own mind. Wait until you get a diagnosis and make progress in getting things under control before you send him on the bus again. Maybe he's just too young to ride a bus. Not all children are cut out for 4K. That doesn't mean he's dumb or will be dumb if he misses 4K, but some kids just need another year to mature before they can deal with that situation. When you know he can be successful, then send him.  That could be a pain for you guys, but it'll be worth it for him in the long run.Poor impulse control is a hallmark of ADD/ADHD.  I'm very strict with my son.  I am continually telling him how I expect him to behave.  We have role-played a lot and that has helped.  It gives him the chance to make the mistake in a safe environment.  Go over it several times, correct him when he's wrong and praise him when he gets it right.  Keep it light and use humor if you can.  Use consequences.  Talk about what will happen if he chooses a certain response.  It may not make an impression the first time, but eventually, he'll get it.  My ds painted words on the side of the shed out back and I made him paint the shed.  Think he got that?  Nope.  About 6 mos later he and a friend spray painted words on the back of our garage and I made them re-paint the back of the garage.  I think he learned not to do that after the second time I made him repaint something.

Get your dx.  It will help you deal with the school.  He can get preferential seating in classes and on the bus.  You, know, sitting right up near the bus driver so he can't get away with so much. 

Remember, you're not alone.  My ds was offered on a bus ride home from a field trip to pull down  his pants and pretend to hump the seat.  He was suspended for 3 days from school.  I cried for a week, worrying if he'd ruined the rest of his life with this (he was 11 and in the 6th grade).  Now it makes me laugh.  We even call him "flash" sometimes.  He laughs, too.  He's 13 now and has turned out pretty good.  I bet your ds will, too.

He has not been officially diagnosed.  We saw a psychotherapist from January through July - till our insurance changed and that person was no longer in network.  We were hoping that if we just continued with the behavior modification techniques we learned from the sessions that he would do ok.  Unfortunately, that is not the case.

We have an appointment with a ped psychiatrist on the 11th to work towards a diagnosis - but preliminary connors scales indicated definite issues in attention, impulse control and transition - all of which we knew and expected.

We have talked to him, reviewed bus rules, removed priviledges at night when we have been informed that he had an incident.  We have "practiced" sitting in chairs in the kitchen with friends (stuffed animals) in the other chairs and he had to sit still, stay in his chair and not touch anyone for 5 minutes - if he violated any of those rules we started the timer over.  We have been very consistent with punishment for hitting his brother - trying to reinforce that it is never ok to hit.

It seems that once he gets on the bus his impulses take over and he can't/won't control them - I couldn't tell you which it is.

 

 

Does your child have ADHD?  Has he been diagnosed?  By what kind of dr?  What kind of discipline have you tried in handling this problem?

I am so upset.  When M first started with 4K and riding the bus from daycare to school, he had lots of problems.  Messing around, hurting friends, playing and being crazy, etc.  Then, the last two weeks we really didn't hear much and thought he was doing better.

Just got a call from 4K principal that the bad behaviors have been continuing.  They even got a note from the parent of a child who had been hit by him, and they are telling me that if there is another incident that they will have to remove him from the bus.

My dh and I do not work close to the school, but I guess if we had to drive him we would just have to do it. 

How do you handle what your child does when you are not around?  What can we do to help him to behave on the bus?  If we punish him at night for what he did during the day, is it going to make a difference the next day when he gets on the bus?

I am very upset with the school that they just kind of threw this on me today...because I thought that since we had not heard anything that he was doing better, at least passable.  And now I am finding out that potentially if he has an incident on the way back from school today, he may be off the bus.

I am so sad to think of him acting this way, and purposely hurting his school friends.  I just don't know what to do.

Any thoughts?  We have no family around to take him to and from school.

We have an appointment with a pediatric psychiatrist on the 11th to move toward a diagnosis of what he has going on.

I bought some of that Focus medication, but have not used it with him yet.  How quickly do you see results if you begin using it?

I would develop a daily note for your son for the bus and maybe school like my child has although her issues are different and make sure you get more feedback sooner than later.  Have consequences for if the daily notes are not as good and that way you can adress the issues daily.  An example you hit someone on the bus have your son have a time out then have your son make a card apologizing for his behavior.  What I did once and it nipped it in the bud when she hit a child at daycare I told her if she did it again she would have to give the girl one of her toys one mommy picks out not her.  She tested and I made her give away one of her favorite barbies and she never hit again.  As for the favorite Barbie she got a replacement but not by me from family for her birthday and she guarded it with her life.

Also for good days have a daily reward like extra tv time or can go to bed 15 minutes later you decide.

Thank you all for your responses!!

The school has mentioned having him ride the smaller bus, where he can be restrained, but I think that we need to be further in the process with his school eval to see if that is something he qualifies for.

I called the principal back, and she said that she had just heard about these incidents, so that is why it took a while to get back to us.  I do believe that the school is working very hard to advocate on behalf of M - the principal is the parent of a special needs child, his teacher is young, but she has terrific ideas for him, and I honestly think that she loves him dearly.

Last night, I asked him if the bus rules said it was ok to hit - no.  Do they say it is ok to stand on your seat - no.  Do they say it is ok to mess around out of your seat - no.  Do they say that M does not need to follow the rules  - - - no.  Then we talked about alternative methods for him to deal with issues, we did some role playing, and then we sat up 4 chairs in the kitchen and set the timer for 5 minutes - he had to sit in his seat for 5 minutes.  Our 3 year old was also there, and he was very active,and in and out of his seat, but M could not leave his.  It took us about 15 minutes to get 5 of sitting because if he got up or got to crazy I restarted it.

THEN...I told him that if he did not behave on the bus he may get kicked off it, and then mom or dad would have to leave work to take him to school.  I said that if that happened, we would have to work later at night to make up the work time, and that that may mean that he would not be able to go to his swimming lessons (which start tonite) because we would not be home in time...that seemed to get his attention!!

 

Here's a thought:  Is there something you can give him to do on the bus that will keep him busy so he doesn't get into trouble.  A coloring book and crayons?  An inexpensive gameboy type thing?  How does that sound?  Part of the start of the problems is boredom, I'll bet.   We have had bus issues as well this year. Nate has his own seat at the front of the bus. Our dr. has suggested he stay there. He can have a friend sit with him as long has he has been good. This seems to be working..

I agrre with susieb, boredom is part of the problem, but it also depends on the child. I tried that with Jacob, his problem was that he did not understand, that the toy, game ect was only for the bus to keep him occupied. He would not leave it in his backpack and got in trouble in school because he would not leave it alone. He now has a bus-monitor  I believe most of our schoolbuses have one. He is a retired guy who sits with him right behind the driver. They talk and read together. He ( I'm embarassed to say I don't know his name - have to find out, x-mas is coming up) even gives Jacob rocks for his collection at the end of a "good" week. Jacob has lots rocks now .  Having that bus-monitor sit with Jacob is a lifesaver.

Could you talk to your school or bus company and ask if they provide this service? It may work for your child too.

Good luck