Hi all, and thank God for knowing I'm not alone!
Please allow me to sound off -b/c I'm at my wits end. M is my 7yo bright, witty, curious sweet MONSTER! (okay, a little dramatic, but as I said I'm at my wits end!!) M was diagnosed with adhd at age 5 (symptoms since 3yrs). Recently tried to get help (from a children's university hospital) with correct medication (as Concerta works well for inattentiveness and distractibility but caused sleep, eating and irritability problems) What we got for my concern for my child's well being was a list of possible "comorbid" diagnoses and still no definitive help for his primary problem - the ADHD. No local child psychitriatrists are in the area (and those that are within an hour don't accept our insurance) Attempted to schedule eval for biofeedback with local company and told "your insurance is terrible" and practically hung up on me.
ADHD has reached epidemic proportions in the world and I can't even find any more doors to break down.
I think we could handle the "typical" adhd symptoms if we could only help him to steer clear of the balistic, sometimes destructive temper tantrums anytime he hears the word no. Any suggestions?
Never give in to the tantrum, listen to him, keep him safe, and act as calm as you can, until the tantrum is over. Don't talk about it again and stick to your no. Sounds like he hasn't learned that no means no, instead of maybe if I tantrum really bad I'll get my way. Give yourself a week or 2 of tantrums, tell him you are practicing No, and you'll see a decrease of them pretty quick. If it doesn't decrease after a week, take a priveledge away every time he tantrums for a short period of time ( 1 day or 4 hours). Good Luck I know its not fun, but its easier to decrease them now than when he's 12 or 13.Welcome Swimmom,
You might try Ogram's marble system for positive reinforcement behavior modification. It is a thread on this board that we keep bumping for people to view. Also there is a good thread on yelling (hints to stop escalating when a child is angry).
It is not so much that ADHD has increased, it is that more people are seeking help and there is a shortage of psychiatrists who can deal with ADHD. We had trouble finding one that took our insurance as well. Have you talked to your pediatrician about working with meds or helping you find help? Although pediatricians are not my first choice for handling ADHD, you appear to be running out of options.
Monster (lovingly) is how my husband has always described our daughter. My daughter has comorbid learning disorders, ODD, depression and anxiety. The deffiance has gotten better since we got through the diagnosis and got her an IEP to help with the school issues. This has reduced her frustration, anxiety and depression. When she was angry we learned to stay very calm and give her space, then praise her for getting herself under control and expressing her anger more appropriately. She now can express her anger without throwing things and hitting-we haven't seen a rage in many months. The opposition has improved alot with the positive rewards (marble system) for the behaviors we want to encourage. When we were just taking things away, she just got worse, and we ran out of things to take away. This also destroys the parent/child bond, which has now recovered nicely for us. It is this bond that helps with chile anxiety and causes a child to want to please his/parents. We started much of this before meds, and the meds add to the positive results.
Long, but I hope this helps.
Swimmom,