I am worried and scared | ADHD Information

Get a complete workup, preferably from a neuro-psychologist. Don't wait for the school to test him if at all possible. Some insurance plans cover this, some don't. My doc let us make payments, but if that hadn't been the case, I would have put it on my credit card. You could have other things going on as well as ADHD. In the meantime, try ogram's marble lesson and don't listen to friends and neighbors opinion about ADHD. Focus on what can help your son and getting it done as quickly as possible. Call your pediatrician for a referral. Just want to put a "plug" in for the Alternative and Complimentary section of this board.... there IS a lot you can do that does not involve medication. Welcome!

Hi Dark Angel,

Does your school have a Gifted/Talented program? Has your daughter been tested for that? Many times GT kids can show some of the same behaviors as ADHD kids. They can coexist together as well. My son too is very bright and we are dealing with the same issues. Good luck to you!

Stacey

[QUOTE=boogadoo1]

My son does the same thing - he just doesn't care what kind of punishment I give him cause he knows eventually he'll get whatever I take away back, or the spanking will only hurt for a second or he'll go to his room (big deal). Of course everyone blames me because I did something wrong. My reply to that is "take him for a week and see if you can do better".

I'm going to start the marble reward system. That's supposed to work.

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That's EXACTLY how I feel!

Sounds like you are talking about ym child instead of yours.

What's the marbles?

I have tried tickets, and no go.
If you go to the ogram marble thread it will tell you all about it. They earn marbles for doing something good like 5 for homework without complaining, 2 for picking up clothes, etc. When they get to 100 they get money to do whatever they want with. I just started yesterday so we'll see how it goes. [QUOTE=boogadoo1]If you go to the ogram marble thread it will tell you all about it. They earn marbles for doing something good like 5 for homework without complaining, 2 for picking up clothes, etc. When they get to 100 they get money to do whatever they want with. I just started yesterday so we'll see how it goes.[/QUOTE]

I read it right after I posted that, lol!

We have tried that before and it didn't work as well as we had hoped, but she was young 3or4 and we were not consistant, so we are going to try again.
Good luck!i'm scared too, but have a really good friend who's child is also on medication for it. he's been on it since about the age of 6 or 7 and is now 10. she says he's slowly learning to control some of the things he does so he's not going to be on it forever. it might be with him forever, but maybe he can learn to cope without the meds eventually.

i plan on starting my son Jesse this Friday so I can keep an eye on him this weekend to see how he does with it. the one thing i've been told by MANY people (because i feel like there's something i did wrong too) is that it is not your fault. at least you're willing to look into things and try to find out what's going on. i will be starting Jesse out on the lowest dosage possible and go from there. the counselor i'm taking him to even said it's a trial and error thing. Just like adults, not all kids are alike and it's likely to take different meds before you get the one that works for him. at least there's a place like this so we all don't feel all alone.

Jodi,

Like StacyAnn said, gifted kids can show some of the symtoms of ADHD (or they can coexist). Have you had him tested for this? Hyper, gifted kids can be overlooked because the teacher does not see past the behaviors to see the gifts.

If a med changes who your child is (other than being calmer and less impulsive) than the med is the wrong one or dose. The stim meds are in and out of the system so quickly that you could do a low dose trial on a weekend to see for yourself how your son responds (or not). My daughter on meds is still herself, but without purposely irritating her sister and friends "because its fun"; and she is now getting As and Bs instead of Fs so no longer feels like a failure.

On the alterantive board there is information on omegas and magnesium which have been shown in small studies to help with ADHD symptoms.

This is my first time on this site too. My 9 y/o son was diagnosed with adhd AND i AM SCARED TO DEATH TO MEDICATE HIM. hE IS EXTREMELY INTELLIGENT BUT has all the classical symptoms of adhd, trouble at home, trouble in school, can't sit still you name it. I am terrified of changing who he is, and turning him into some doped up kid, I feel like this all my fault.Hi guys, I'm new here (first post actually), and I am worried and scacred about my 7 yr old daughter.

We (hubby and I) had a meeting with her teacher Friday about her behaviour in school and in home.

The teacher says she's one of the smartest if not the smartest child in the class but she had trouble paying attention, is always out of her seat, always has to be doing something, excessive talking, etc....

She also went on to say that she feels that our child can not control herself or her behaviour. She feels that Darien is not just acting out, but that she may have ADHD.

That scared the heck out of me honestly.

I was one of those parents that always thought ADHD was a bulls**t made up disease/condition for parents and teachers that didn't want to be responsible for the child. Boy was I WRONG!!!

So today we go talk to the school counselor and the school therapist/behaviourlist for an evaluation and assessment.

They will also be recommending a Dr. for her since her passed away and shourtly after that we moved.

I am scared to put her on meds. I don't want to turn my bright, beautiful, quirky, inquisitive child into a "zombie". But I am unsure of what else to do. The principal of the school has warned us that if her behaviour does not change, they will be forced to expell her for a few weeks or for the rest of the school year. I also do not want that to happen.

So basically what I am asking for is advice, sugesstions, experiances, stories, etc... to help me get info before I make a decision.

Thanks in advance guys!
18 out of 23 seems a bit high. This is a case of don't take the teachers word but get a full work up. There is no doubt that ADHD is over diagnosed and the meds are over prescribed, but that doesn't mean there aren't true cases of ADHD out there and that meds don't help. You're a good mom or you wouldn't be seeking information about it. You're not going to let your dd turn into a zombie on meds and not do anything about it, are you? I thought not. Just don't let yourself be scared out of trying things that may work. Hi, my name's Tamy and my son Jesse was just diagnosed on Friday with ADHD and he's also a very nervous child. Last year in kindergarten, there weren't too many problems, the usual things, figured it was because it was all new being in school. then over the summer things started happening more frequently, just hyper all over the place, refusing to follow rules, being mean to the dogs, sister, would say he wished he was never born (i figured it was just to get a rise out of me), saying no one loved him.....ect. then this year in the first grade, since day 1, he's been in trouble. cussing, flicking other kids, slapping, punching, hitting, smearing soap and water on the mirror in the bathroom, on other kids!, showing his privates!!!! looking under the stalls in the bathroom, playing in the water fountain, kicking, excessive talking, throwing rocks at other kids, so much i can't remember everything. so many things that he's never done before that it just had us baffled! it doesn't help to have a friend that says that ADHD is nothing but an excuse, that there's nothing wrong with these kids and parents just want to take the easy way out and not be parents and stay on top of them constantly. i'm just supposed to put him in the back yard and not let him go anywhere, just keep an eye on him and dicipline him for everything he does (which we do!). we've gotten into screaming fights over the whole thing because she doesn't believe in any of it but will tell me that her two oldest are both ADHD and she just screams at them constantly, but she's stayed on top of them (yeah right), and they've turned out just fine even though the oldedst is constantly in trouble. she's never taken them to the doctor to have them diagnosed, she just "knows". i'm so frustrated and at my wits end. why so many doctors?? family doctor, i took him to a psychiatrist and she's referring him to another one for medication. i'm worried about the medications myself, but what do you do when you're ready to pull your hair out????? Parents are calling the school telling them that their kids are now coming home with words they've never said before and they got them from him, kids don't want to play with him because he's been so mean to them and now he gets depressed because he has no friends at school. the teacher has separated him from kids that will follow him in what he's doing at school, moved him to the back of the line when they are going anywhere in the school with kids that will just ignore him, and the same for the bathroom. i asked them about ADHD in the beginning, but was told that they normally don't test for it till the end of the year........WHY??????? i just need to know i'm doing the right thing, i don't want to hurt him and all the side effects i've read about scare me to death also, but what else is there????

Gosh, you sound exactly like me. I feel like I spend my entire life screaming at my son. I've finally accepted the fact that all the screaming in the world doesn't help. I have the same kind of neighbors that run a military household so their solution to everything is to beat the hell out of their kids until they listen. Doesn't work with ADHD. I am not convinced that it's ADHD and not another LD so I haven't started medication but am now on a mission to get an answer. He has an IEP at school and is in special ed for all his academics. The teacher is great so no worries there but when he's with the regular ed teachers for gym, art, etc. he's always getting into trouble because they hate him. They've managed to ostrisize him to the point where the other kids call him bad. I'm also getting a series of bloodwork to check for vitamin deficiencies, food allergy testing and going to start him on omega 3s and focus. I'm at my wits end too so I know how you feel!

Good luck

I went also throgh a denial process. It is common to go throgh it and be worried and scared. During my denial process I really lost precious time with my son. Since I decided to act on his adhd I have a new completely story to tell.

My son is medicated and he still has the same personality; he is not a zombie. On the other hand, his concentration and capacity to focus are doing pretty well and as a result he feels more enthusiastic to learn. He also attends karate and swimming lessons which he enjoys and is very active at.

I suggest you to go through the evaluation process and see the results; then you will be able to know what is the next step to help your daughter. In case that it is adhd, don't panic, everything is going to be okey if you manage the situation correctly. We are here for you if you need support or advice.

I think the first day we tried meds my son was quite quiet as his body was getting used to feeling focuses. He is in NO WAY a zombie but he is able to focus on his school work and complete his assignments...he is still impulsive and has lots to say but I think this is his personality.

[QUOTE=scotmama]

i don't know where the zombie thing come from,i am on meds and i am far from being a zombie,the opposite.

but first you could try alternatives,behavioral therapies and others.see how it goes.get an IEP in place for your child straightaway with the educational psychologist.and be ready for a long journey,do not let the school bully you into medicating your child to make it easier on themselves.if you want to try somethingelse first do it,but don't be scared about the meds.

educate yourself about your rights and the medication/alternatives and good luck

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I didn't mean to upset you all when I said zombie.

When she was in kindergarten, 18 of the 23 kids that were in her class were on ADD or ADHD meds, and to see them was scarey. They would just shuffle around looking halfway lifeless and without and emotion. Her teacher wanted us to also put her on meds. We just thought that it was due to the fact that it was her last year of teaching and she wanted it to be as smooth and easy as possible.

I also thought it was wierd that that many children were on meds in that class.

Thanks for the replies and please keep them coming!
Dark Angel--we all understand your worries. I used to be in denial about my DS. Then he started school.....He was a social outcast. He did not have any friends, he was too rough and loud. He couldn't stay out of trouble. That was four years ago and we still have problems, but you know what? It is way better. He has friends and he can now go into public without causing a scene. He is medicated but he still acts like a kid. He is not a zombie. If any kid acts like that they are too medicated. There are so many options for you, and honestly it may take a LONG time to get them right. Hang in there. It is hard for us who don't have adhd to understand but you HAVE to. Counseling really helped me. You aren't alone. We are all here to support you on this journey. There will be highs and lows but the HIGHS ARE FANTASTIC!!

Let me tell you a little about my story, my son a 6 yr boy was diagnosed with ADHD in may 2006, finally I new what was wrong with him and now my life has changed 360o.

Last year August 2005 he started Kindergarten since the beginning the teacher was always calling me for the same things he does not stay in task, he does not listed he has self control problems well etc etc etc etc the most frustraring for me was that he couldn't concentrate at all and to do homeworks with him was so dificult me and him finished crying always. Finally like in December 2005 school called me again and ask me if they can do some test on him, they thought that he was doing so bad because a language confusion we spoke spanish at home and he spoke english in school, well they did that test and everything came good so it was not, after they told that they were going to do psicological test and I agreed I was so desperate in the meantime time I took him to the neurologist and did some test on him and he came positive with ADHD. He is repeating kindergarten but it does not matter because now that he is in mediciation everything is a lot better not perfect but a lot better.

Don't be scared is not like they are crazy NO NO NO, my sons does not acts like a zombie surf on the web and read a lot about this. My son take Ritalin LA 10 mg once a day and he is active not hiper but active. The difference is that now he can stay in task and finish it, he listen and analize things that before he couln't and the most important in my situation he can manage his SELF CONTROL and IMPULSIVNESS.

Talk to your ped dodn't worry if you don't take care of it right now that your cild is little we wont be able to do it latter.

Yes, first get an IEP in place and get the school to provide as many services as they can to help your child. My son is not on medication as I am not convinced that he has ADHD. There are many other learning disabilities and conditions (such as food allergies) that mimick ADHD. As there is no diagnostic test to diagnose any of these it's hit or miss. I am in the process of getting numerous blood tests to rule out any vitamin deficiences and plan to start testing for food allergies. I also plan to start him on Focus and other vitamins such as omega 3s and magnesium and continue with strict behavior modification. If this doesn't work than I know I've exhaused every effort and will have to consider medication. I would not make medication the first option. Being distracting is not grounds to get expelled so I would fight this with the board of education immediately. That is discrimination under the "No Child Left Behind Act".

my son is definitely not a zombie... he is a bright little boy and doing quite well socially now that we have found him the right help...

don't be afraid to do what ultimately could be the best thing for your daughter

work closely with the doctors and school

Take care!

Go to the alternatives board and also to the medications board. My son has been on meds for 5 years and he has never been a zombie. We've done Concerta, Adderall,Adderall XR, Strattera (non-stimulant), Ritalin LA and Daytrana (Ritalin patch). Currently, ds takes Strattera and Daytrana. Getting the meds right took time and work and as ds grows, we've had to shift meds and up dosages. He's never had any serious side effects. We've experienced rebound (drug level drops quickly and produced crankiness) which has been eliminated when we started the Daytrana. It takes two hours to kick in, but the wear off time is also two hours, much more gradual than a pill. Because of the even way the drug is delivered on the patch, ds has no more "low points" in his day. He too, is a smart kid and I've watched him struggle with school, all the time knowing that he's smart enough to do the work.

I knew I had made the right decision to medicate when I picked him up after school the first day on meds and he got in the car and said: "mom, I like myself better on these pills." This reminded me that his ADD was not just a struggle for us, but for him too. ADD can create a great deal of frustration and one of the risks for unmedicated ADHDers is self-medication. In kgarden it's not an issue, but in middle and high school it is.

If you can, have her tested by a neuropsychologist. They do exhaustive tests that will uncover not only adhd, but any other learning disorder. Often ADHD occurs along with other problems. Addressing all the difficulties is the key to success. My ds has ADD and dysgraphia, which is a disconnect between his brain and his hand, making it difficult to write. Now that we've got the meds right, the dysgraphia is his biggest challenge. He uses a laptop sized word processor.

Once you have a diagnosis in hand you can get an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) or a 504 plan. Your dd has a disability and the school has to give her accomodations to help her compensate or overcome. Also, unless dd is causing a big problem in class with hitting or biting or otherwise assaulting people, they can't expel her. They also can't say to you "if you don't put her on meds we'll expel her."

You are her only advocate so you have to begin to educate yourself. Stick around and you'll learn a lot from the people on this board. Also read Driven to Distraction by Hallowell and Ratey (anything by them is good) and Stopping ADHD by O'Dell. You might also want to visit www.wrightslaw.com which is a website that will inform you as to what your legal rights are and what the school must do.

Good luck. ADHD is a challenge but one that can be overcome.

My daughter was failing school last year and had become anxious, depressed, and defiant because of the frustration. She has a high IQ, learning disorders and ADHD. We got an IEP at school with a behavior plan, started a behavior plan at home and started concerta and guanfacine. She is having a great school year so far. She is getting As and Bs instead of Fs. She is participating in class and is excited (in an appropriate manner) about the classroom activities. Before meds, she would not participate at all because she was so unhappy. She knew she wasn'd getting things the way the other kids were.

Everyone is different and it may take some time to find the right med and dose. This part can be very difficult for a parent. Meds should not affect a child's personallity other than reducing hyperactivity and impulsivness. Get an IEP in place. It will take some time, but will help if there are times your daughter is not on meds or if the meds need to be adjusted. Look on this board for Ogram's marble system for a positive reinforcement behavior system. Check out the potential suplements that have shown some positive effects.

i don't know where the zombie thing come from,i am on meds and i am far from being a zombie,the opposite.

educate yourself about your rights and the medication/alternatives and good luck

we've tried everything. spanking doesn't work (he's turned around and laughed at me), taking things away doesn't work, he doesn't care, grounding, sending him to his room (he just goes to sleep), time outs don't work. nothing seems to work or bother him. the only thing i get is "you just don't follow through". when you're frustrated and mentally exhausted and you have another child to take care of, what is there left? thanks for the reply, i'm keeping my fingers crossed that everthing turns out ok.

I'm going to start the marble reward system. That's supposed to work.