Ds was in a fight today. | ADHD Information

Yeah is stinks, but no it doesn't.  It makes me happy my kid won't just sit there and take it until he decides to bring an AK-47 to school.  Last spring a kid was saying nasty stuff about jewish people and Pat (blond, white and Christian) stands up and pushes the guy out of the way and tells kid that if he doesn't shut up he'll beat him up.  He looked at me and said "Mom, Jessica's (his gf) jewish and he was hurting her feelings!"  The assistant principal told me that I should be proud of him then. 

Ds is in a youth group with a kid, J, who's very ADHD and his parents don't medicate him or only during school.  Unmedicated he's a real pain to be around.  I've given ds explicit instructions that he isn't to tease J.  I've told him that there but for the grace of God go he.  I've told him that there are plenty of kids in J's world who tease him, be the one who's different. 
Sadly before Brandon was medicated he was teased.  Or I was.  My own family would talk bad about him and how he acted.  My brother even said that when he has kids they won't be like Brandon.  I still hear it since he's been medicated.  I get so tired of it.  So far he seems to be well liked at school right now.  I have heard one of his "friends" say that he was WAY smarter than Brandon.  OOOOHHHH.  I get so mad sometimes.  I am trying to teach ds not to be disrespectful or mean to people.  I just hope it works.  You should be so proud of your son.  He could have NOT told you anything.  Sounds like ya'll have a great relationshipJust wait till your brother has kids!  People who say stuff like that are begging for a challenging kid.  Don't worry, you'll get your own back eventuallly.  My grandma used to say "what goes around, comes around."  It is so true!  The next time he starts spouting off, pass that on to him!

I've been really blessed!  I have a good mom who passed on a lot of stuff to me (like how to think up punishments).  I have a good husband and a really sweet kid.  We have our challenges at times, but I wouldn't trade them for the world!  Thanks viv!


You are right to be proud.  They should defend themselves AND understand that when they do, they will more than likely get punished also.  Kids are so mean these days.  My twelve year old daughter tells me stuff that happens all the time at school and it scares the hell out of me.  You sound like you are being supportive and being a parent at the same time.  Sorry that this happened today.  Really stinks.Pat always calls me at work when he gets home from school.  I ask about homework, remind him to take his patch off and tell him I love him.  Today, right in the middle of asking about homework he blurts out that he was in a fight at school.  A kid was making fun of him, calling him gay and drawing pictures to that effect as well and this has been going on since the start of school.  Pat hit him a couple times on his arm and Ms. K (la teacher) walked both of them down to the office.  I haven't got a call from the office yet, ds said that the asst. principal didn't give him a note to give to us and that he'd talk to ds tomorrow.  There was no mention about punishment (at least not yet).  Sometimes they wait and call after dinner, though. 

I didn't get mad, I'd been through this kind of stuff in middle school and told ds about the time I was suspended for kicking the class bully in the groin after he'd punched me one too many times.  Pat was really surprised and told me he thought I'd go ballistic.  He knows he'll have to take the consequences of his actions.  He also told me that it was no use trying to predict what I'd do, because I always do what he doesn't expect me to.  I told him I didn't get into trouble at home because they knew that this kid had been hitting me and getting away with it.   I figure it's the same thing.

The thing that really impresses me and that I'm proud of is that he told me right off the bat and seemed to tell the truth about everything, not leaving anything out.  When this happened last year he hid it, dodged and didn't want to take the consequences.  I'm actually proud of the way Patrick handled this.  I know I shouldn't be, but I'm proud that he stood up against this kid who's been bugging him since the start of school.  I'm not going to let him know that, though.

Well, he got a day of in-school suspension.  I suppose he should get it out of his system before he gets into highschool and everyone is bigger than him.  Come to think of it, this kid was bigger than him! You're absolutely right.  If the kid was taunting him and called him gay he deserved to get punched.  I would tell the school that as well.  I told the Principal last year that I gave my son permission to defend himself so not to bother calling me if he hits someone for that reason.  I haven't heard from him since.  I get notes from the teacher everyday with regards to something he did like talking in the hallways.  I think it's their way of trying to force me to medicate him.Pat was the one who hit first, but only after 6 weeks of taunting.  I would think that calling a kid "gay" would be classed as sexual harassment, wouldn't you?  Of course I haven't heard from the school yet, but I sent Pat to school today and told him to go to Ms. K's class and tell her he was sorry for disrupting the class.

This kind of thing happened last fall and the school didn't call till three days later.  Pat had kept it to himself and I got mad at him, not for getting in a fight, but for not telling me.  Last spring when he fought the kid who was making anti-semitic remarks he told me right away, but I thought that it was because he was proud of himself for defending his gf's feelings. 
You should be very proud of Pat   .  My rule is that my son cannot start the fight, but he can always defend himself.  If that means he gets suspended, that's fine.  He's not at school to be anyone's target.  Period.  If someone's bullying him, he needs to tell me, and I will handle it with the administration at the school.  If the administration does not handle it from that point on, then he's free to "knock the bully's teeth down his throat," as Barb said, and, BTW, Barb, I'm shocked to hear you say such a thing    .

Susie, you should be proud of him. I would tell him I was proud of him. He took it for a while and then stood up for himself. There is nothing wrong with defending yourself.

I would suggest he tell a teacher or the principal first, then if it continued, knock the bully's teeth down his throat.

My son has a bully on him all the time and it has reached the point that I am getting a restraining order the next time the kid looks crosseyed at mine.

Our kids don't need to be picked on, they have a right not to be and I would inform them at the school that if they didn't prevent it or intervene, my son is allowed to defend himself and I will fight any disciplinary actions they try to take. They would defend themselves and I believe its our kid's legal right to defend themselves.

I am so fed up with kids getting away with punching, hitting, tripping and calling our kids names but when our child fights back, he is punished. We have to start fighting that instead of allowing them to continue this practice.

 

 

[QUOTE=lillian] If the administration does not handle it from that point on, then he's free to "knock the bully's teeth down his throat," as Barb said, and, BTW, Barb, I'm shocked to hear you say such a thing    .[/QUOTE]

Its funny how the mother bear comes out when your child has been attacked by another kid one time too many!  You tend to want to take the "let boys be boys" quote the bully's mom loves to use and cram that down HER throat!

 

Susie it sounds like you have a great kid.  I hope he does not get into too much trouble for sticking up for himself.

You should be proud of him.  I've always told my son that he is not to hit anyone first but if someone hits him he is to hit back.  It took a while for him to actually listen because he's the first one sent to the Principal for doing anything because of the "special ed label" but now he defends himself.

He will have to deal with enough bullying because he's in special ed so he needs to know how to defend himself.