how to help my son grieve | ADHD Information

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josh did go to the services since i had no one to watch him.i am not sure if that made things worse,i will try to put together some photos this weekend, but he totally put his feeling inside. i asked him the other day did he miss her and he could'nt respond.

  I really don't know what you could do to help him but I like the memory book idea. If he continues to keep his feelings buried, you may need to take him to a counselor for a while.

Its possible that he is afraid to say something to you and get you even more upset. Don't be afraid to let him see you cry. It may be what he needs to feel free to aknowledge his own feelings.

My heart goes out to you and your family. I lost my father years ago and know how devestating it is to lose a parent.

I'm very sorry for your loss.  An unexpected death must be very, very traumatic for your family.  There are some good kids books out there.  When my mom was in hospice, they provided a book for me to read with them.  It was called When Dinosaurs Die.  I believe that age range for this book is Preschool to 4th grade.  Here is a link

http://www.amazon.com/When-Dinosaurs-Die-Understanding-Famil ies/dp/0316119555/sr=8-1/qid=1160501362/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-232 3182-9508930?ie=UTF8

 

my mom recently passed away(unexpectadly),well my son has always been super close to my mom. he said to her a couple of days before she passed nannie you are really my mom and my mom is my other mom. since she's been gone he has been waking up every night screaming and calling out for me.. he has never showed alot of emotion through this. its been hard because when i start crying then it really bothers josh. but i don't know how to get him to express his feelings because he has put them inside of himself.Have you tried something like putting together a memory book about nannie?  Something with pictures and stuff that he cherishes that connects him to her?  He's probably feeling a bit off balance and wondering if you're going to leave like nannie did.  Tell him you're here and you love him and you're not going anyplace.  Did your son go to the funeral/memorial service?  If not, you may want to hold a private one for him, just the two of you or the immediate family.  Mostly, it's going to take time.  My condolences on your loss.

My son's different.  He wears his emotions on his sleeve and feels things like this very deeply.  When his step-grandfather passed (after an illness) he was very upset.  He cries at the sad part of movies, too. 
when it first happened i cried all the time,i still do daily.my mom was my best friend. i lost my dad in 1998 which was hard but i was closer to my mom so this has been the hardest thing i've ever been through. so to those of you who still have your mom give her a hug because you never know. i wish i could give my mom one last hug. i will try to get that book its looks really good.i think if josh could express his feeling he would do better and maybe stop having nightmares.

I am so sorry for your loss.  I too lost my Mom suddenly in 1998 (the twins were only 1 1/2 then)  Although their paternal Grandma and Grandpa died suddenly only 10 days within one another a couple years ago.  I think the boys were in kindergaten then.

They were both very close to their grandparents.  We gave them pictures and talked about all the good memories.  Prayed to them.  Gave the boys each something special that belonged to G'ma and G'pa.

I won't pretend it's easy.  For the most part I still see their pain when they miss them 2-3 years later.

They don't have any grandparents left now and I feel so sad about that.  Our house is covered in pictures of my mom and their grandparents.  We always talk about them and keep them alive by passing on information and stories about them in hopes  our sons will do the same with their kids.

I remember when my mom died my great aunt wrote in a sympathy card "God gave us memories so we may have roses in the winter" something like that.

I did by a book -who wrote that...some celebrity oh ya I think Maria Shriver?  It is What is Heaven I think.  Not a bad book-just I think the kids were too young for it.

PM if you want to talk or need a shoulder

angie