Telling a child they have ADHD | ADHD Information

I talked to my son about how he felt when he got in to trouble or needed to be redirected. I then discussed how he has ADHD and has problems controlling himself. I told him that the pills I was giving him were going to help him contorl himself. Now when friends ask him why he had to take a pill he says so he does not get into trouble and so he can control himself. He is 5 and was dx in Aug.

Theres books at the library u can read to your child about adhd/add the one my son really kept his attention was "HELP IS ON THE WAY" by Margaret Scott. its a childrens book words and pictures. theres other books also. i hope that helped a little.

i think it truly depends on the kid and the age.  my daughter is 9 and we've been open with her, and it seems to have helped her.  again, we've just told her what we *think* is going on with her...we're in the process of scheduling testing, etc. school hasn't brought up anything in 9 years, we're the ones starting the ball rolling. 

she's taking focus and brightspark so far.  she doesn't like the omegas that i bought, the orange pudding type in the packets:( 

 

shelley 

Your child is pretty young.  It really depends on the maturity of the child.  I told dd and I also got some kids books about it.  I also told her that her dad has it too and he's pretty awesome, right?   She doesn't seem to be bothered by it at all.  She knows there are lots of kids she knows who also have it and take medicine.

 i also bought my daughter the phoebe flower series of books...she saw herself in many of the things that phoebe with ADD does at school.  she truly enjoyed reading them, even though they were beneath her reading level.  i read them all too...

shelley 

Maybe this link will help out some, along with all our good advice and opinions. 

http://www.addvance.com/help/parents/child.html

We told our son right away because he was reading everything at the Dr's office and knew anyway.  We told him that there is a part of his brain that wants to be asleep while the rest is awake. We said that the meds wake up that part that is sleepy, so that the reat of his brain will be able to relax and not work so hard trying to wake that part up. His distraction would stop and he'd be able to listen better.

This is all exactly as it was explained to us. He's got to fidget because his brain wants to be totally awake. That's why stimulants work: they stimulate the sleepy part, which allows the rest to be calm.  It's best to be totally honest because we try to teach our children that all people are different yet equal.  They need to learn that their differences are okay.

Welcome!  I'd tell him that he brain is slightly different then most people's and has a harder time staying focused on any one thing, and we're figuring out what do do to help it work better.  Then I would tell him that what you love about him is his differences!  The funny way he combs his hair, the sense of humor he has, the different way he looks at life etc.  I wouldn't try to make it a long conversation, just mention thiss and let him either ask questions or drop it.  Pick up the conversation when you talk to him about what kind of therapy you're going to use.

In the meantime...

...read Driven to Distraction by Hallowell and Ratey and Stopping ADHD by O'Dell.  Visit the different boards here on this forum, most especially the alternatives board, the meds board and the issues in school board.  Drop by the "basement" (the Non-ADHD topics which is at the bottom of the list) and meet some of the kooks, er folks that post here.  It's a weird bunch but we're pretty likable. 

If you haven't decided on a therapy already, read up on meds and alternative so you can discuss them intelligently with your doc.  My ds is on and I recommend Daytrana.  It's a Ritalin patch and is a slow even release.  My ds is doing wonderfully on it.  There's a thread on the meds board "Daytrana Anyone."  It's long, but check it out.  I'll bump it for you. 

I had to give my son an explanation because we told him when he did the testing with the neuropsychologist that we were doing it to see how his brain worked.  We did wait a couple of weeks after getting the dx so my dh and I had time to process things.

I just explained to him that the tests had shown us that his brain worked a little differently from some other peoples and that now that we knew that we could do things to help him listen better and control himself (he often told me when he got in trouble that he really was trying to be good but that he just couldn't).  And we told him that the differences in his brain are called ADHD and that is part of the reason he is so creative and special.  When we started the ritalin we told him that they would not make him smarter, but would help him with listening and controling himself.  He noticed a difference right away and is only too happy to take his pill.  In fact, he's the one who told me that he needed a higher dose when he started to build up a tolerence to the dose he was on- we had noticed and made an appointment with his dr, but had not said anything to him about it yet.

I believe in telling children what is going on.  They know that they are different and they know that they are working harder than the other children to accomplish the same thing.  Knowing that there is a reason for that and that you are doing things to help can make a big difference.

We told my daughter (who was already aware that she was different but just couldn't say how) that her brain works too fast and that sometime, it works too fast for her to slow down and do the things she wants to do or make the decisions she wants to make. We made a big deal about how a lot of really creative and successful people have ADHD and that thinking outside the box is a wonderful thing - but that it can cause some extra challenges at school and with friends. She's comfortable with taking medication, mostly because she can see the huge difference it's made emotionally. (She's less frustrated which means she's happier.) Overall, the DX has been a positive thing. Like I said, she knew she was different for years and now she has an explanation and a label she's proud of. (It's much better than the "stupid" or "wierd" label she had!)

My advice? Keep it simple and let your son lead the discussion. Answer questions when he asks them and keep things matter-of-fact. If you don't make a big deal about it, he won't either. If you're positive about it, he will pick up on that.

Good luck!

I really would not tell him because he does not understand, my son thinks that his pill  is for allergy and in two weeks I will have my 11 yr daugther tested and I already told what it is about it.

numeca, how old is your son? My son was officially diagnosed yesterday with ADHD Combined Type.  He's 5 1/2.  I've no clue how to inform him as to what's going on... I guess mostly because I don't really know anything on the topic yet.  Any advice on how to talk to a child about this?

Then you have decided to tell him?

I guess I would only tell the child, if I was giving him pills to help him cope.  Then I'd explain why he's taking the pills.  They are to help you pay attention and listen better to the teacher.  It also helps you to to think before you do things, that may get you into trouble.  Make it brief, and explain that there are many other children that take pills for the same reason.

Great question!  I am interested in hearing the responses.

Our 5 yo was diagnosed with ADHD yesterday - when we started seeing the counselor in January, we told him it was a friend who was going to help him get ready to go to big boy school.  When we started him on FOCUS, we started calling it special vitamins for him.

He starts his ADHD meds on Saturday - I did tell him that the doctor wanted him to take some different vitamins, so he won't be surprised.

Not sure how much else to tell him either.

oooo  good topic.  He is soo young..  it is hard for them to understand.  I have not came right out and explained it all to my son (6) yet.  I told him, when he was 4, just the basics like "It helps you think clearer", "It helps to calm your body", etc etc.  Actually, there have been times when he has told me how the medicine helps him and makes him think & feel better.   I'm not sure what age would be the best time to really explain the nitty gritty.  Any opinions out there? 

ptgally39002.4351388889I think its a natural progression about how much info you give your children about ADHD.  I think its important that despite adhd, that they don't see it as being a negative thing, and they still have a good brain no matter what.  My son noticed a huge difference the first time he had ritalin, and told me it made him good instead of bad.  I only told him it was to help him listen to the teacher better.Thanks for all the replies!  They helped a lot (as did the link that was posted!)  Since he saw a psychologist and they can't perscribe meds, we're waiting until next week when we see another doctor who is perscribing them before talking to him about it.  That is also giving us time to read up more on the subject and find ways we can better help him to help himself and ways we can help ourselves find different ways to interact with him on many levels.  Frankly, what we've been doing hasn't been working, and now we know why.  We've a long road ahead of us... might as well get to walking now. 

My daughter was diagnosed at age 6, and we talked with her about it right away.  I had been trying to get her diagnosed since the age of 3, but they kept saying that she was too young to diagnose.  She had already seen several professionals by this point. In first grade, she was having problems sitting still in class, and her ability to learn was being affected.  Since she had to focus so hard to keep her hyperactive behaviors in check at school, she was like a human tornado when she came home.  The final straw was when she was running frantically up and down a long flight of stairs in our home, and pitched head-first down them (fortunately, she was not injured)!  For this reason, she was already quite familiar with the reason why we were taking her to the doctor. She was a part of the conversation at the time when she was being diagnosed.  Our doctor even directed several questions toward her, and explained what the medications were for.  I guess it just never really occured to me not to tell her.

Following her being diagnosed and starting medications, I got a copy of the book, "Shelly the Hyperactive Turtle", and "Putting on the Brakes."  These helped her to understand the diagnosis much better.  She has always been a part of all discussions concerning her medications, and can usually tell us when they are not working properly.  Her father and I do have to be careful with discussing this issue where she can hear, otherwise, the power of suggestion takes over.  We have also had to be careful to not allow her to use her ADHD as an excuse for her behaviors.  She has tried this on several occasions during the past few years.

I told my son they help him slow down and make better choices.  I wanted him to know HE was the one making the choices, not the pills.I'm very glad to see this topic. My daughter was just dx with adhd combined type this afternoon. I have no idea what to tell her... or if I need to tell her anything. I'm going to finish reading the thread, and then follow that link. =) My 5 yr old was diagnosed last Friday with ADHD and mild ODD. I had to tell him SOMETHING since he started meds this past Tuesday. I just told him it was medicine to help him do better at school, and behave better so that he can have a good day...everyday. He was excited about it, and even more importantly...WANTS to take the meds! He comes to me everyday now and tells me how good he has been ...seeking the praise that he FEEDS off of! Il love it! I didnt tell him he was "different" from anyone else tho...in anyway....i dont want him to get that mindset. Good luck with it. The meds are a miracle in my house. Hes only been on them for 4 days now...but my God what a difference. Hes a better version of his old self, and I love it....but more importantly so does he!I told my son that he has ADHD and that his brain is different...he is six.  There are also books out there that can help you explain to your son what is happening.  I'm of the opinion that our kids already know they are different and at least having an explanation for why they are different is better than nothing.  Now Isiah knows why he has problems sitting still, why he makes noises and why he has to try harder than most kids in school.  Before he just thought he was always in trouble and now he knows it's his ADHD.  Our kids can handle the truth :)