New ADHD mom looking for wisdom | ADHD Information

Let me give you a little background on our family.  We have three daughters, the eldest is 11 yrs. and our twins are 7 yrs.  Our eldest seems to be above average in everything from school to sports to common sense.  Just a gem.  Our identical twins are very very sweet, but we used to wonder where their common sense was. 

Unlike many kids with ADHD, they pose no behavior problems and are very well liked by their peers and teachers.  The Dr. said that they seem to have ADHD Inattentive Type (she also suspects a learning disability, though we haven't gotten that far yet).  They seem to have a lot of trouble focusing and staying on task.  They are below standard in much of their school work - including reading.  They have trouble following instruction and are forgetful.  I hung onto the the hope that they were just immature as a result of being preemies, but the Dr. seems to think otherwise.  It has been very hard for me to deal with - especially since our eldest has always been a bit of an overachiever.  I know that they are bright - and it kills me to see them struggle.  I want to get this under control before their self-esteem becomes damaged beyond repair.  They were extensively tested at school last year and fell just short of qualifying for learning-center help, though the did receive extra help for reading.  This year only one qualified for the reading help.  At this time I am not able to afford to hire extra help for them (tutors, etc.) outside of school.  I try my best to help them, but I am not trained or qualified as a special education teacher.

The Dr. gave us the the name of a psychologist to visit to see if we can get them to qualify for some extra help that insurance might cover.  She also wants us to consider giving them Concerta 18mg.  My husband is all for giving this a try, but I find myself resisting.  I have so many questions.  Is it ok to give a daily med. like this to kids this young?  What are the long term implications?  What can I expect?  Is this the right choice?  I'm just at a loss.  I'm trying to do my research, but find myself overwhelmed.  I decided that the best thing to do was to try "talking" with other parents who have been here.

I'm sorry to ramble, but I am just so confused!  Any information, suggestions, or support would be so greatly appreciated.  Thanks.

Only you can decide what is the best treatment for your kids and every person is different in their needs and how they react to meds. My 10yo is on concerta and guanfacine. She is combined ADHD with learning disorders. She has gone from Fs last year to As and Bs this year. The meds have removed some of the limitations of the ADHD and allowed her high intellegence to compensate for the learning disorders. Things are not perfect but much better. The only side effect we have seen is weight loss. We are keeping a handle on this now. My daughter gets extra help with organization at school. With meds, they can always be stopped if you find you do not like them, but it can take some time to get to the right med and dose. On the other hand, check out the alternatives board and keep in mind that these tend to take a bit of time (which you may or may not feel you have).

we are in the same boat here with my 9 year old.  we are in the process of getting her tested.  reading everything is overwhelming, to say the least. we are currently using focus and brightspark (see the alternatives board)...but i honestly can't say i believe that they are helping our dd.  i'm scared to think about meds...but for our daughter's situation i believe that she needs them, and i'm sure we'll give them a try in the future.  her struggling in school is new...but, i think she fell threw the cracks a bit last year ...we were new to the school as well.  this year i'm emailing her teacher and we've been proactive...and she has a much more caring teacher, so that helps. 

as vickie said, only you can decide what's best for your kids.  it's truly hard to see your kids struggle...but, there is a lot of good advice here on this board...so read it and decide what's best for you and your girls.  meds are scary and in my opinion shouldn't be taken lightly...however, as others have said "if your kid had cancer or something else you'd definitely treat them appropriately".  your daughters can't help it...and just coming to terms with that is a start, or at least it has been for us.  my dd was a premie as well! our daughters self esteem has definitely been decreased to some extent over the years...i just don't know how we can watch her struggle with grades as well now:(  that's why i believe we will try the meds in the future.  she's had peer and immaturity issues as well...but to add poor grades now is truly difficult to deal with.  her brother is being pulled for challenge stuff and very good at sports, etc...he's the one that's invited to every birthday party there is within a 20 mile radius:) :) :)  it's hard...it's hard to not compare...it's hard to see one struggle.   my dd just doesn't read social clues very well...my guess is she will test the combination type ADHD.  

anyways...there's support here 24 hours a day...good luck!  and keep us posted:)

shelley   

 

I'm struggling with the same issues as you.  My son is 7 and is receiving special ed services in school which is helping him but he's still behind where he should be.  I held him back in kindergarten and now he's in first grade.  He has some minimal behavior issues but nothing major.  As ADHD mimicks other learning disabilities I want to be sure it is ADHD before I decide to medicate him.  I had a series of bloodword done that came back normal and I want to get him tested for food allergies.  He gets Occupational Therapy at school and I also bring him privately 1 day/week.  I started him on Focus and Omegas as well and am hoping this will work. 

Good luck@

Kahren, you're scared of medicating your kids, which I understand.  Have you thought about what can happen if you don't try medication?

ADD/ADHD kids have been known to self-medicate.  They struggle through school and their self-esteem drops.  They spend their days thinking about how they're failing and disappointing everyone and some kid walks up and offers them pot or alcohol or whatever and suddenly the disappointment and resentment they've been feeling melts away and they feel good.   Thus starts a cycle that's hard to break.  This was the story of Kurt Cobain's life and of many others.

Does every ADD/ADHD kid go through this?  No.

Does horrible things happen to every kid who takes meds?  No.

The point is:  educate yourselves.  Find out what might happen if you give your kids meds and what might happen if you don't!  Then take an educated gamble and decide on a treatment regimen.  If it doesn't work, try another one.  It's going to take a lot of trial and error to figure out what works.  However, you've come to the right place to get a start on it.

Read Driven to Distraction by Hallowell and Ratey and Stopping ADHD by O'dell.  Visit the medication information board and the alternative treatments board.  Also visit the ADHD issues in school board.  You want to be able to discuss treatment regimens with your doctor and accomodations with teachers. 

Do you know what my ds said to me after I picked him up at school the first day on meds?  "Gee mom, I like myself so much better on these pills."  He was 8 then.  He's thirteen now and brought home 4 A's, a B and a C when interim reports came home a few weeks ago.  It's been a struggle, but every year it's gotten better.  Right now he's on Daytrana, which is a Ritalin patch.  It's an even delivery system that makes it so my son doesn't have any low spots in his day when he can't concentrate or pay attention.  We started it right before school began and I've seen the kid who I knew was smart and talented succeed.  Meds are not a panacea but they are worth a try.  Meds didn't make my son smart, they helped him access the brain that was already there.  Good luck, it's a tough battle but the small wins feel just as good as the big ones!
[QUOTE=shelleyA]

 my dd was a premie as well! our daughters self esteem has definitely been decreased to some extent over the years...i just don't know how we can watch her struggle with grades as well now:(  that's why i believe we will try the meds in the future.  she's had peer and immaturity issues as well...but to add poor grades now is truly difficult to deal with.  her brother is being pulled for challenge stuff and very good at sports, etc...he's the one that's invited to every birthday party there is within a 20 mile radius:) :) :)  it's hard...it's hard to not compare...it's hard to see one struggle.   my dd just doesn't read social clues very well...my guess is she will test the combination type ADHD.  anyways...there's support here 24 hours a day...good luck!  and keep us posted:)

[/QUOTE]

Hay, I know about the premature children and adhd connections! I did an article in my blog about it!  finally my research on the web might help some one out.  I write the news letter (well part of it any way) for this site, and I just did one about this topic.  click the link in my signature and it will bring you to it.  You might find it helpful. (I'm not some loon, that's trying to sell, i'm just a loon that writes for the adhdnews.com)

It can be a very difficult decision to give your child medicine.  Psychotic medicine is even scarier! 

My DS was diagnosed at age 7 of ADHD and ODD.  I was so totally against medicine but after some research and being at my wits end I decided we would give it a try. 

The important thing is to educate yourself.  Know what medicines are out there - know the differences of how they work and their possible side effects.  You know your child best and you can be a partner with your Dr. when discussing the meds, if your Dr. doesn't agree then find another one.  Also keep in mind that different medicines work with different children. 

We tried 3 different stimulants before we concluded they are not compatible with DS.  He is now on Strattera, Wellbutrin, Risperdal, and Guanfacine.  The difference is amazing.  Now that I see that my research keeps me in control of what he is taking and that it really helps him SOOO much I am comfortable with giving him the meds. 

That being said, I fully appreciate the other methods out there that that can help our children and encourage anyone to try those first before deciding to medicate.  We tried but were not successful enough.

Come join us in the Alternative and Complimentary Meds section -- there's a lot of info and some of us have had some great experiences with supplements, diet modifications, etc.  It is NOT, however, a "quick fix" as meds can be, but we have found the effort worth our while!  Welcome!