Teen ADD | ADHD Information

Hi Mom,

You might want to repost in the parents section. It will get more traffic there. I have seen 2 different estimates of how ADHD affects maturity. One was that they were ~4years less mature than their peers and the other was that they were 30% behind. My 10yo daughter has similar problems and does best with kids younger than her and boys. I coach my daughter (as do you) but I try to not get frustrated when she seems to not "get it" and think of it as coaching a 6 year old.

vickie39010.9373032407 [QUOTE=MomSad]

My daughter is 15 and is diagnosed with ADD. She has been on Concerta for the past four years and though her grades have improved dramatically, her social skills have not. She is unable to maintain long lasting friendships, she tries very hard to "fit in". She is immature in her behavior, she counselled this past summer, but the director asked her not to come back because of her immaturity. Does anyone have similiar story about their daughter. I have tried numerous times to talk to her and guide her in her behavior but i am not getting anywhere. Her track team mates put up with her but do not include her in any outside activities and when she tries to join in they roll their eyes and move away. Any help or suggestions would be helpful and appreciated.

[/QUOTE] My daughter is also 15 and was just diagnosed with ADD yesterday. Not
that I was not sure she had this condition for the past 12 years. I was afraid
of the label she would have. We tried getting the ADD meds from doctors
and she did not like taking them. She has a friend who takes the meds and
her mother said she is doing ok on them but she goes off in the summer
and its not a real fix. I am seeing a doctor who is going to do drug free
treatment. She will start on Thursday of this week. As far as friends go my
daughter has a few good friends but so many girls just ignore her because
she has a hard time explaining herself to others. My daugher also plays golf
and has girls on her teem who roll their eyes when they see her coming. Its
so hurtful for a mom to see this. I will keep you posted on her treatment as
it goes.

Please keep me posted. I wish you luck with this treatment.

My eight year old gravitates so much towrds younger kids that the educational psych recommended we start him at school a year late. We can't think of him as eight, the tests show he does things on a 6- 7 year old level. He has some good friends in this age group too. Maybe make it possible for your daughter to meet up with some younger kids? She may just strike up a friendship with someone younger than her, to whom she can relate. For some reason I feel my social inability with people my age that is due to
my ADD isn't related to immaturity. I tend not to get on with people my age
but 10-15 years older (which sucks for ethical lovelife.)
Does your daughter get on with people older than herself. Is her immaturity
the kind that is related to hyperactivity or lack of comfort with peers?My daughter does tend to get along with people older than herself and i think she is just not comfortable around her peers. She thinks that she does not have anything in common with them. she is very insecure and has very little self esteem. i am not sure if it is a result of me not focusing on the good. don't know..SO HARD TO DEAL WITH THIS AGE. NEED ALL THE HELP i CAN GET.

Our 13 year old son is so similar. We have been home schooling him for 4 weeks and when I asked him about whether he missed the other kids he told us that having friends is just too much hard work. I find this difficult to understand but his psychiatrist is definite that he will seek out the soacial contact he needs. He also often says that where is it written social contact has to be with people your own age? So music teacher, sports coach, parents, neighbour and adult friends all provide some social interaction. I am really struggling with this but trusting them for now. I'm trying to look at it from my son's view of life.

I have 2 children with ADHD - one 15 year old girl and a 13 year old boy. My daughter has always been on the outer. She just doesn't seem to contect. But she is a lovely kid - sometimes I think that she's just beyond them. She's become a bit aloof and it didn't help going to a school with only 4 girls in her year level. As we live in a small town we sent her to an all girls boarding school at 6 months ago so she would be surrounded by girls. It seems to have worked - still a little aloof but is working on making friends. To survive she will have to change her behaviour.

Now my 13 year old is a different story. It makes my heart break because I think he's great!!! The other night he wanted to kill himself because of the stress of school. Friends are very hard work and he would say things like - no one notices me because I'm invisible - no one is interested in what I have to say. How very sad!! It just seems he doesn't fit in- no phone calls etc. He has been isolated. We have pulled him out of school until the end of our school year (8 weeks) and are following an education dept distance education program - complete with microphone and phone to talk to his new class for 40 minutes a day. We have no idea what to do. The specialist suggested finding other people - adults etc to teach him skills eg art, wood work and so give him social connections that would be popular. The specialist believes that these kids find socialising extremely draining and so school can be a very negative experience. When he's ready to go back, then we'll take him.

The idea is to give any social connection that is positve and then build on that.

thanks for your responses.

My daughter is attending a small coed private school - total 490 which is a big improvement from a public school that had over 1000 kids. I do try to build on her positive social connection, but i feel bad because she really does not have any lasting friends. She tries to get together for movies on the weekend but it never happens because they are either not interested or to busy. Most of the time they do not respond to her IM messages and she gets very upset and sad. Maybe an all girl school might help.

are your daughters on any medication? i am trying to see if there are natural alternatives for her to take rather then Concerta. I think concerta is the reason why she has Asthma now and i really do prefer to find something more natural. Any ideas?