Help, I am stressed today | ADHD Information

Here is todays sceranio: I pick up DS from school after care. I tell him, after buying him the soda he wanted that we are going to drive by a house I want to see the outside of. His response to this is to tell me we are not and I need to go home right now. I proceed to the house, drive past and go home. I manage to placate him in the car by distraction. I tell him I cannot find the street and can he find me a street sign that starts with the letter N.

We get home. Both children head for the playstation. One wants spongebob, one does not. Any game I put in, they are both unhappy. I decide I have had enough and tell them both that the play station is going away until their father gets home.This is met with screams from both and then yelling from my DS that he will do what he wants, etc..... and he does not stop. After listening to his ranting at me for several minutes, I send him upstairs to his room. He continues to spew things at me at which time I tell him that he will not be playing with his best friend this pm due to his behavior.

He stays in his room alternatively screaming and yelling and crying for 10 minutes. Once I have not heard anything for a few moments, I go upstairs, sit calmly on the bed and explain to him that I will NOT tolerate his rudeness and disrespect, that he must get himself under control. He starts crying again, stating that I hurt his feelings. I told him I was sorry but that I would no longer tolerate him stressing me out every afternoon and that from now on, if he acts that way, he will go to his room and stay there. Then, I had him repeat it all back to me so I could be sure he heard me and understood.

Is this normal for ADHD? Is this when he is coming off meds? What is happenning? Am I not being effective enough? Is anyone else having this problem? My house is SSSOOO stressful in the evenings. Please HELP ME!!!!

Are you using the marble system? When my guy starts yelling at me, I calmly inform him that yelling at his mom will mean that he will lose X marbles, and I walk over and take them out.

Also, perhaps after a whole day of being with other people, he may need some time alone to decompress - is there something he could do in his room by himself until he is ready to be around people again?

Or, maybe he needs an afternoon booster of his meds?

i think that right after school is hard for many families with kids, ADD/ADHD or not. i know that my kids pick fights with me and each other more right after school than any other time of the day, i think that they have both been so good all day at school and it's around who they are most comfortable that they lose it. i'm not saying that this is right...but know that you are not alone:) even my non add/adhd kid has a hard time after school...partially, i believe due to the fact that he's hungry and thirsty. he doesn't eat enough at lunch...he's too busy talking and having fun with his friends.

good luck! i'd monitor and log his behavior and see if you truly think his meds need to be changed...and i'd try giving him some alone time after school as well and see what that does. the marble system seems to be effective for others on this board so that's a great suggestion too! i know that i just bought easy child software...i just need to get it up and running after a family meeting:)

shelley

longsally,

This could be due to coming off the meds or rebound (worse than before meds) or due to not tolerating transitions well. If you think it is meds, talk tot he doctor about posibilities like a low dose short actint med to ease the transition or something that might be gentler coming out of the system.

We went through rages, etc. and started the marble system (top thread of the parents forum). I also started calmly telling my daughter that we would discuss the issue when she was calmer. Then when she calmed down, I would praise her for getting a handle on her anger and we would discuss better ways to deal with things. Things are not perfect but no full blown rages and she is more appropriate in demonstrating her anger or frustration.

Good luck with this issue.

With my son when this sort of thing happens after school, I figure something bad has happened at school, that he hasn't known how to deal with. This is generally the case. So I sit him down, and try to get out from him what has happened at school, and see if we can sort it out. Yesterday after some bad behaviour of note, I calmed him down and eventually found out that children in his class have been getting him in trouble with the teacher, throwing things at him and digging in his leg with a pencil!! He has a bad mark from this. So we sorted out this problem and today he was better. I tell him to talk to me rather than be horrible in the afternoons so that he can learn this is a better way of dealing with things. I find when he starts his tantrums I really have to breathe deep and not freak out at him so we can resolve it faster.

Yes, after school is the bewitching hour.. I run home from work to get them off the bus, and then it starts.. We use the marbles, and there is one for getting off the bus and getting in the house.. We have the same kind of fights over tv and computer.. We do not have any game systems yet. We have borrowed my sisters and it only lasts for a day.. the boys know, that one day we will get one when they have used their cousins for a whole week. I know this is bad, but, if they don't agree on a show, I have one in the family room one in the living room watching tv.. this is just for right after school. so I can talk to each one and find out about there day.. Like the boys I need to decompress from work and get ready for my real job.. mom of two boys 6 and 7.

well,

I ask my son every day how school was and I get the same answer every time. "I cannot remember". What did you do today? Did you play with anyone? How was your teacher? Always the same answer.

Yesterday he went to his friends house to play across the street. A short time later, the mother walked him over here. Turns out the boys were wrestling and of course, son went out of control and hit the other boy in the stomach hard enough to make him cry. She was very upset. I send DS to his room. When he later asked if he could go over again and play, I said that he could not, that the mother was upset and that if treated his friends that way, he would soon have no friends. I also put him to bed early.

He stated that he apologized to him which I felt was a good thing. He thinks, however, that this makes it all ok

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Hi Longsally, boy do i feel you pain and frustrations. I have a 9 year old son with adhd, and i had the same kinda day you had yesterday, I was at the end of my rope, my son pushes me to the limit every day of my life. He has the anger problem, hits, yells at me, throws things around the house, Just yesterday he threw his plate of pizza across the living room. I have to remind myself that god doesnt give us more then we can handle.......every day, but boy is he a challenge. I love him and i know i can't give up, but there or day i feel i just want to give up. I have a 13 year old daughter who is god sent, she help me so much with him, she also gives me encouragment every day, she has so much more patients then me, I thank god i have her..and my husband is the mellow fellow that says i am making it out to be worse then it really is.
We do have good days, but way more bad. Well i know what our worries or, its that we can't go through a day without thinking what they will grow up to be like all we can do i give them lots of love and praiseand pray for them daily. And like Forest Gump says, life is like a box of chocolate you never know what ya gonna get. Have a blessed day!

berkell