Its getting worse | ADHD Information

My 9year old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD and OCD when she was 3.5 years old.  We took her to a child phsychologist because she had been kicked out of 2 daycares for tantrums so severe, they were afraid they were seizures.  From 3.5 to 7 years old her father (unmedicated adult ADHD) and I chose to manage this with diet and behavior mod.  This worked until 1st grade at which time we put her on Ritalin.  This was hearbreaking, as she had headaches, cried often, never ate and would lash out at everyone once the drugs left her system at night, particularily her little sister, with whom she was often violent. 

At school, nothing but glowing reports.  It was such a confusing time.  Things were terrible at home. In the morning, she was angry, beligerent, would make everyone late for school by refusing to get dressed or  take her meds.  Eventually she learned to "fake" taking her meds and no matter how I would disguise it, she would figure it out. The school was again calling, being very condescending about her taking her medicine.  Finally one day, I caught her hiding the remnants of ther ritalin and I took a new pill, opened her mouth and forced her to swallow it.  I shook her hard enough to make her bite her tongue and bleed.  That was the last day she took meds, it was not worth it.

Our entire family, which by now is myself, my youngest daughter, my x husband and my current fiance have made a committment to no meds.  And for the last 1.5 years we have all done whatever it took to help her be successful without them. Moved to a bigger city with more school choices, summer camps, books, any activity to occupy her time.  Things have been very good and we couldnt' be more proud of her.  She grew up quickly to stay off meds.

Now, it is becoming painfully obvious her social skills are quickly falling behind other kids her age.  Once again I am heartbroken getting reports from her teachers of her not having friends her age, how the kids complain that she acts like a little kid when she wants to play animals and how the only kids that want to play with her ar 1st graders (she is in 4th grade.)  Even worse, in settings with people outside our immediate family, she acts out.  The stimulation of guests or going to someone's house is almost overwhelming, she will laugh loud and obnoxiously, pass gass near people on purpose, interupt adult conversations with loud animal sounds, scratch kids and adults like a cat...the list goes on.

Once again, we are at a crossroads about meds and I do not know what to do. 

Magdalena39013.8076041667I'm so sorry, I understand how frustrated you must feel. My son has adhd, and I feel like I could just give up and run away. His meds work than they don't then they do and now once again they don't. The school is calling all the time and everyone has the impression that he's evil but he's not and I feel like I'm all alone. He's back to scratching everyone and threatening to kill himself and everyone else. I love him so much and I'm scared he'll never be the little boy who was happy before or ever will be again. Good luck and try to be happy.I would love to hear more about Naturpathic solutions for my daughter.Just another suggestion.... there are also Naturopathic Doctors out there.  We use one and our M.D. had no idea about the stuff we have done (we just don't train our doc's that way).  We conducted neurotransmitter testing to get a place to start and that was very helpful (insurance also covered most of it).  I'd be happy to tell you more if you are interested!There's a section of this board called Alternative and Complimentary Meds -- I'd start there with the threads entitled "Omegas Latest Research..." and "Magnesium."  There is also a thread on crawling exercises that have helped many (we don't do those yet!).  Feel free to PM me with questions! Magdelena, did you all ever try supplements or homeopathy?  Diet modifications?  Test for food sensitivities?  You might check out the Alternative and Complimentary Meds section of this board.  Many of us use alternative methods (we use supplements and diet modifications) with success.    Welcome to the board, I hope you find the answers you seek. 

You mentioned that the meds were working at school when she was on them but it sounds like she was having some rebound problems when they wore off.  Did you try more than just the one med?  There are a lot of options out there and they all work differently for different people.  And don't worry, I think mornings are hell for just about all of us (at least until the mes start working). 

Did your daughter seem less mature than her peers  when she was younger as well, and did it change any when she was on meds before?  I've noticed that my son seems more mature when he's on meds because he's able to control his impulsiveness and is in everyone's face much less.

Also, have you talked to her about any of this?  She may be able to give you some valuable insite and if you do decide to put her on meds again she may be more willing to take them as she see positive results in her life.

Find a social skills class targeted at ADHD children. Call speech/language therapists, children's hospitals, or her doctors to locate a class. Perhaps you should research Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as well.Have you tried the Daytrana patch?

It sounds like your daughter is suffering at school.  Maybe you should revisit the decision for no medication.  I agree, forcing a pill down her throat is not worth it, but there are other ways to deliver the medication.  Some types can be sprinkled on food, for example.  Have you considered the Daytrana Patch?  Maybe that would get around the pill-swallowing issue.  And sometimes you have to add in an afternoon dose to cover homework time and family time.  We do.

It sounds like her outbursts are alienating her peers as well as your family.  You did a great job trying the behavior modification route.  You went above and beyond.  Sometimes, though, the results just aren't where you want them.  The literature I have read indicate that the best results come with combined behavior modification and medication. (Taking Charge of ADHD, Barkley).

As for the maturity level, it is common for ADHD children to have a 30% delay in maturity.  See the book "Taking Charge of ADHD" by Barkley.  So that would put your daughter at 6 years of age emotionally. 

Sometimes as children get older, their diagnosis changes.  How long has it been since she has had a complete evaluation?  Do you know if she has any LDs?  There may be more than ADHD going on.   Is she getting the extra support she needs at school?  

You are doing a great job trying to do what is best for your daughter.  Good luck and keep us posted!

how i wish this wonder patch was available in the uk.Its such a struggle to get my son to take ritalin :( But as i have posted elsewhere on the board my son is getting worse and he is on medication! Same problem here im not sure what american grades are but my son is in year 2 which means he has been at school going on 3 years and he plays with 4 year olds as no one his age seems to get on with him!Infact his best friend is still at pre school.I know my son has way more than adhd going on its just getting the docs to say it.Im thinking of takin my son off medication, as it isnt helping anyways and tryig to get an appointment to see the doc is like finding gold! oh how i wish i lived in america...

Wow, being new to this forum I had no idea that people would be so open, honest and compassionate!  In just reading these responses, I have felt like someone lifted a great weight off my shoulder....there are more parents like me!  Most parents and other adults just sort of act like they feel sorry for me, and can't wait to change the subject. Thank you!

To answer some of the above questions, we used to keep a food log, but as a family we've gone almost 100% organic, little to no candy, very few sweet treats, absolutely no soda, sugar free juice, etc.  I agree that it wouldn't hurt to do food allergy tests, but Dr. seem to blow it off every time I bring it up.  And here  is the crazy thing, her dad has food allergies and adhd!!! 

Her last diagnosis was in first grade, so 3 years ago.  However, her medical records were given to her new pediatrician and we see him about every 4 months.

We did not try other meds, mostly because I was scared of how angry I got with her when she wouldn't take it.  I have told her current Dr. we will not close the door on meds, but would rather explore other avenues first.

Her and I have great communication about this, it breaks me heart how honest she is, but I'm glad she tells me everything.  Recently, she said her friends all came back to school this fall, "grown up, smart and sassy" and that she was sad because they "weren't little girls like her anymore."  Up until this year, her behavior was impulsive, but she still fit in okay.  This is the first year she is more interested in playing outside her agegroup.

I just ordered some books directed at her and another for parents from free spirit publishing, anyone had any luck with these?  I will look into the suggested books as well.

I have made a Dr. appointment to update him on these new issues and will discuss meds, also testing for other ld.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!