He isnt in school as no main stream school in a 30 mile radius are willing to take him.I am waiting on a special school place but as our government are so keen to keep closing these schools down there are not many available.I wish I had the time or the patience to home school but I dont! We have worked with social services family centre childrens mental health services a psyhcologist behavioural support team and nothing any of them has suggested has worked! Neither are meds right now.Im concerned the effect it is having on my younger children too.I was wondering if people could suggest a way of dealing with things so they are not so effected
This is also a very interesting topic for me. I have my son (6 with adhd) and a year old daughter. My son is my daughter's hero; you can look at her face of delight when he comes from school. The problem is that my son wants to be all the time on her; his caresses are not gentle at all, eventhough I know that he doesn't want to cause her any harm. It is also a concern for me that my daughter learns some of my son's inappropiate behavior, as shouthing, answering back and opposition, just to mention a few. I think this situation is really a very important issue so any helpful information will be gladly taken.
This is one topic that I've always worried about. My DS is 15 and has been in trouble with school, home/family problems, the works, since he started school. I have a strong feeling that my ex-husband (DS's biological father) was also ADHD or ODD because, hate to say it, but he was a complete jerk and only after marrying him did I find all this out. I remarried have another son, who is almost 10. The boys are 5.5 years apart.
I worry because everything we do as a family revolves around my DS. My energy is taken up by him, my husband and I only argue when it has to do with him, and when my husband deploys, my older son runs the show (or thinks he does). Oh and when they both fight, it's a nightmare!
My younger son, the 10 year old, is a straight-A student, honor roll, odyssey of the mind participant, gifted classes, student council - he's just the best little boy in the world and hardly does anything wrong. It's really hard to parent both of them because what works on one doesn't work on the other and vice versa. I have to constantly tell the younger one that his older brother just needs a little more attention and yet I don't want to fully explain everything because he'll use it as ammunition when they fight. Nightmare I tell ya!
Having my DS gone for the past six months has given everyone a little breathing room, especially for my younger son. Our house hasn't been wrapped around my DS's chaos and drama. My younger son really misses him and I think the relationship will be better now.
I think that sometimes it causes a lot of stress for the younger kids, but on the other hand that's just life. It's never going to be perfect and fair or not, it's always going to be some family dynamics at play no matter what. I grew up with an older brother who had a lot of the same issues (probably adhd now that I look back) and we always had to tiptoe around him and I refuse to do that with my own kids. All you can do is make sure each of them is loved and feels loved.
Actually, my younger son sees how hard it is for older brother and wants to be a special ed teacher to help kids like him. There's a kid in his class that is always in trouble, says bad words during Latin class (in Latin no less!), is always getting sent to the principal's office, etc. Everyone is sort of tired of putting up with this kid, but when I explain that this kid is a lot like his older brother, he's doing his best to help him and is empathetic more so than the other kids. Sometimes I think this is how people get a calling for certain jobs. So I don't look at it as necessarily a bad thing for siblings. Rose colored glasses fit very well thank you. haha
Good luck with the schooling situation, that has to be tough!
have you looked into DLA?that and the tax credit should help you enough to pay the nursery.I read a study once that looked at the impact on children of having an ADHD sibling. jAltho researchers expected it to have a negative impact on the non ADHD sibling, the opposite was true. The non ADHD children appeared to be more socially mature! It seems to be true with my children.
There are 3.5 years between my oldest daugher (with adhd) and her little sister. As in your situation, my older daughter used to do things to/with her little sister that would hurt her, mostly accidentally. How has this effected her little sister? She has grown up to sort of mock adhd, in an effort to get as much attention and one on one time as her sister gets. She does not genuinely display any signs of adhd, but she does just about everything her sister does, although I'm happy to say that the last year she seems to be developing her own personality and finding other ways to get attention from us.
As a side note, as little sister has also smartened up to the fact that she can tease her sister about adhd to make her mad. They fight alot.