11 yo DS has only a couple of friends. His social skills stink. Most kids avoid him. I really feel for him but I understand the other kids to a certain degree. It is hard to feel comfortable around a kid that gets so frustrated in school that he ends up on the floor in a fetal position, crying, and refusing to talk to anyone. In some ways I wish he had more friends, but the ones he does have are really good kids and I would rather him have 2 good kids as friends rather than 10 that are not so nice.
We are very fortunate that our community has a group called "Special Connections" to support parents of special need children. Part of the program is the Peer Buddies. High School kids volunteer to be the buddy of a special need kid in Middle School or High School. The are screened and trained. The HS students then befriend the special needs child and they do things together, like go to the HS football games, or go to the movies, just hang out etc. It is a wonderful program and it boosts DS confidence as well as help him with his social skills.
My DS has a best friend that does not go to his school. Accoriding to the teacher, he has kids that like him ( talk to him, sit near in lunch ect.) however, he likes to play by himself on the playground ( his athletic skills are poor and would rather chase bugs or make up an adventure). From what I know, he starts to play with the kids and then he gets distracted with another idea and walks off.
My little one only has one friend and I ask him for some other friends and he says that he does not remember their name. Since last year I always hear him talking of 1 kid.
And my daughter is so different she has a lot of friends and she is adhd too.
Are you guys going through the same situation????? I worry that he has social problems.
How old are your children? I think as long as they have at least one friend, they will be just fine. Just keep him involved in things that keep him interacting with his peers. That is the best way to learn social skills--interacting with people.
i used to be worried about my son not having friends, but now i'm not. i am rather happy that he only has a few. That means he has less people to pressure him into bad situations. (he's only 8, he will be 9 next month) But, friends will come soon enough. For now, one or two are fine.Your case is sooooo familiar!!! My son only has one friend and he says that he doesn't know his other classmates names. This fact usually drives me nuts; how is it possible that he doesn't know other classmates names. Today I had a funny and kind episode with my son. I was driving him to one of his therapies and as I drove I was questioning him about his school. I am starting to think that the school I chose for my son (before being diagnosed) is really demanding; so I was talking to him about his opinion if I decided to enrolled him in another school that could cause him less stress. He answered that as long as it was with his friend (only friend) he didn't care. He told me that he didn't care about stress or staying in the same school as long as he was with his dear friend.
I don't think he really understood my point (he is only 6), but I felt so moved. The innocence that I see in my adhd son is hardly found in another kid.
[QUOTE=Happyrock]My son is 13 and has shut hiself off from making friends. He says that they are just hard work! On the advice of his child pychiatrist, I have pull him out of school which was causing such enormous anxiety and have begun homeschooling. I really am concerned about his lack of friends his own age. He really just has me and his father. His sister is away during the week. The specialist doesn't seem to see this as a problem. His argument is that when he's ready he will go in search of friendship. It is better that he recovers at home rather than being hurt by bad social connections. I'm still unsure!!!![/QUOTE]
I feel that with my son, who is 9, as he gets older this will change. I think back to when I went to school and my social life really changed in college. I think these kids get so labeled that it doesn't seem to matter, the other kids just don't accept them. I have hopes for college, even though I also keep him involved in activities with other children, especially sports. It is hard due to the time and medication, but we hang in there!!
I personally feel that I go through everything he does with him, and he is not alone, he has me!
im 16 yrs old with adhd+add. i say i have friends, but only a few would i call good friends. i don't usualy go over their houses or spend much time outside of school with them. not many invite me for things, so yeah. i think having adhd cuases some type of mishap with the whole social skills. im a very OUTGOING girl, probably about as much as i am outspoken. i also feel that maybe the trust factor is involved. i dont trust alot of kids or feel they are ok to be my friend or make associations with them. i try to find kids who are of somewhat like me. i remember having my stage of middle school transitioning to high school how it just seems everyones out to get you and you don't want to make social connections. my dad has even told me that he feels i lack in social skills; which i would say is rather ironic since im such an outgoing person! dont worry too much into it if your kid isnt having "alot of friends" because it is sort of harder for us to reach that feeling that we "belong" to a group or of a social status, especially in high school.My son is 13 and has shut hiself off from making friends. He says that they are just hard work! On the advice of his child pychiatrist, I have pull him out of school which was causing such enormous anxiety and have begun homeschooling. I really am concerned about his lack of friends his own age. He really just has me and his father. His sister is away during the week. The specialist doesn't seem to see this as a problem. His argument is that when he's ready he will go in search of friendship. It is better that he recovers at home rather than being hurt by bad social connections. I'm still unsure!!!!My son didn't have more than 1 friend for K-4. However by grade 5 he started getting more birthday invitations and now genuinely has about 4 good friends.My son who is 13 has a handful of friends. The funny thing is that his two best friends both have add/adhd too. They are like 3 peas in a pod. He has a few other friends as well without add/special ed, but they are not as close. We had one boy who practically lived at our house over the summer. Spending every weekend with us, and would come over every day. Now that school has started that has stopped. I kind of felt bad for my son (only child) thinking that he would be lonely on the weekends, but he could care less one way or the other. If he sees his friends, then great. If he doesn't see them, oh well, he is content being alone. I guess I felt sad for him, and he doesn't even really care. Although when he is with these kids, they have so much fun together.
-Cheryl